Blue Blubber 378 - Mike

Its Christmas time, mistletoe and wine, you know the song, but at this time of year it is about giving not receiving. With that thought in mind, let us think of our close neighbours across the Park, who are struggling to find the cash to build a new Stadium so they can line their American owners pockets with more cash.

There are two ways you can donate to the New Analfield, one way is to give your kopite mates a few quid at this time of year, or two is send a cheque or postal order to:

The New Analfield Appeal Fund
Tom Hicks and George Gillett's Back Pocket
Somewhere in The US of A

Kopites themselves have been sending in their Kroners, Euro's and Swiss Francs in by the bucket load, so lets help our neighbours out at Christmas Time, you know it makes sense. (18/12/07)

Blue Blubber 377 - Gwladys (Move Cursor Over Picture Of The Fat Spanish Waiter)

I am Just Here To Coach The Team and Get Shafted By My Bosses

Blue Blubber 376 - Ron V

From Stevie G Laa's book. Makes you think doesn't it !!

Blue Blubber 375 - Brian

Please see e mail sent to a friend who considers himself a "rednose" despite never going to the match or spending any money on the team he alleges to Love so dearly. If you know anyone like him, and I am positive you do as there are thousands of them out there, then why not change the name & forward it on to them, as I am giving them a real opportunity to support their team and earn a modicum of respect from others, instead of remaining insignificant when it comes to football banter:

Hi Andy
Thank you for the hilarious text messages following the recent Derby match. It is a real shame you were not there, but then again you never are. It is so strange that I have not heard from you for some time, and not even after last years 3 - 0 Thrashing at Goodison or the recent Champions league final defeat. However, I email to give you some fantastic news.
Seeing as you are such a fantastic Red, I thought it only right to highlight some sites on the web where you can EASILY obtain tickets for Liverpool Matches, seeing as you are always bleating that you cannot (or is that "don't want to") get one.

www.ebay.co.uk just type in liverpool fc tickets - simple
www.topticketshop.com You will find tickets to every Liverpool Game here - Freely available
www.thefootballticketshop.com Again every Liverpool match on the calendar at competitive prices
www.liverpoolfc.tv/tickets/a_howtoapply This is actually your own club site - Selling General sale tickets - Believe it or not - Incredible isn't it
www.teamonetickets.com More Liverpool Ticket sales
www.local.thesun.co.uk/sale/tickets/sports/soccer Yawn - are you getting the point yet - Yawn
www.ticketsnow.com/Soccer_Tickets/Liverpool_FC_Tickets.html My finger is starting to hurt
www.worldwidesportstravel.com/tickets/130/Liverpool There are as many tickets on here, as there are low lying fields in Anfield Road
bargains.igh.co.uk Guess what, this site has not one but 10 links to ticket buying sites for LFC tickets - Pig in shit stuff this.
www.gumtree.ie Loads more tickets for sale - Yawn
www.ticketteam.co.uk more tickets for you, and you and you and you
www.1boxoffice.com/tournamentdetails you'll never walk alone with all these ticket sites
www.euroteam.info Oh what a fantastic red you could be with all these tickets
www.airtrackfootball.co.uk/Football I'm getting bored now mate
www.seatwave.com That's it I have had enough now

This list is by no means exhaustive, and if you type in "Liverpool FC tickets" into Google, you get an incredible 1,730,000 hits. I'm sure there must be something there to tickle your footballing fancy. So if you are unsuccessful, which is really impossible, please let me know as I will buy one for you, if you give me your credit card number, no problem mate. You could also always try queuing up at Anfield, like so many "decent reds" do every week !!!!!

Oh erm lastly Please let me know when you have bought one of these easily obtainable match tickets, so that I may have at least one grain of respect for your banter. Then again, isn't it so comfy in front of the Telly, in last seasons recently bought half price away top.

Cheers
Your friend Brian (An Everton Season ticket holder of many many years)

Say No More

Blue Blubber 374 - Arthur Campion. Walton

Pavarotti's wife has been on the phone. She asked would Benitez be offended if she sent him a few bags of clobber. Keep up the good work lads.

Blue Blubber 373 - Dixie's Leg

The sooner we do one to Kirkby and distance ourselves from these gobsh1tes the better......

FANATICAL Liverpool fan Kristian Magnusson got kitted out in style for his wedding day. Instead of donning the usual top hat and tails, the life-long fan wore his own specially made Reds suit. The 25-year-old Norwegian had the outfit, complete with a club logo on the breast pocket, specially made by a tailor in Thailand.

Kristian said: “The Reds are massive in Norway, they are probably the best supported team, even more than Manchester United.
“My collection is building up as I’ve just won a signed Liverpool European away shirt for £50 on ebay.”

Blue Blubber 372 - Peter Pridgeon

As Christmas approached a family of redshite supporters decided it was time to do their Christmas present thieving, as they wandered through their home city and the main street of Milton Keynes they wandered into the local sports store, Mother Chantelle, older daughter Charmaine and son Shane.

As always Shane wandered over to the kits hanging on the wall, he looked at the usual wall filled with Manure home, Manure away, Manure third kit. Arse Home, Arse away, Arse third the same array of kits with the shite on them, Shane in his own limited way recognized they really were all the same, same colour, same everything really, same shite as he was so used too. Disappointed Shane turned to walk away, then, out of the corner of his eye, Shane caught a flash of brilliant Royal Blue. He walked over to it breathlessly, touched it, felt it, it was so different so nice. Shane felt excited as he took it of the peg and tried it on, this was so pretty he thought.

Meanwhile Charmaine fed up of trying on thongs, as none of them fitted her, walked over to find Shane. As she wandered into the wall of red where the kits hung she saw Shane admiring himself in the mirror wearing what appeared to be a bright royal blue jersey. Quickly she marched over and grabbed him by the ear “what the hell do you think you are doing wearing that” she yelled, Shane visibly shocked looked around to see the horrible bloated and pimply face of his sister yelling at him. I like it he said, I really like it and I want be an Everton supporter, at hearing this Charmaine started to beat him round the head “ I’m takin you to me ma she yelled” as she dragged poor Shane down the escalator. On the ground floor was the short, miserable and enormous figure of Chantelle looking as nasty as could. She had seen Shane dragged down by his sister, wearing that blue muck. She beat poor Shane, she beat him with her bag, she beat him with her fist and when she was done Charmaine beat him, poor Shane was beaten black but still Blue.

Next Shane was dragged off to see his possible father in prison, when he found out that Shane was a Blue, he beat poor Shane again until he couldn’t stand the beating anymore. They all then stood over Poor little Shane and said “have you learnt anything from this Shane”

Shane looked up at their fat, ugly faces and said yes I have, a look of relief passed over their faces, then Chantelle asked, well what have you learned, Shane looked up again and said I’ve only been an Everton supporter for an hour and I fucking hate kopites.

Blue Blubber 371 - Rob Bromley (Huyton)

Rob Styles the legend!

Blue Blubber 370 - Rob Bromley (Huyton)

Blue Blubber 369 - John Hanlon

Is it just me, or does Torres have more than a passing resemblance to "H" from Steps?

Blue Blubber 368 - Eddieparkend COYB

Is it just me or is the new lad across the park Duncan Norvelle's love child? Chase Me!

Blue Blubber 367 - Sky TV In New Zealand. Mark. Wellington, New Zealand.

Sky New Zealand shows the highlights of a recent premiership match involving the loveables .....