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Blubber 381 - VARIOUS BLUES
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Went to my doctors the yesterday and he told me about this fella
who had been in just before me a Manure fan who had the complaint
that whilst watching his team beat the shite he was masturbating
in front of the telly at the same time he was overcome with
a sudden desire to sing you'll never walk alone. Don't worry
said the doc I have dozens of wankers that sing that song come
in every day.
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Four kopites in a van, who's driving? The copper!
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A redshite fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his redshite
shirt. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St Peter
in his Everton shirt.
"Hello, mate," says St Peter, "I'm sorry, but
no redshite fans in heaven."
"What?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard. No redshite in heaven."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man," replies the
shite supporter.
"Oh,
really?" says St Peter. "What have you done then?"
"Well," says the guy, "three weeks before I died,
I gave £20 to the starving children
in Africa."
"Oh," says St Peter. "Anything else?"
"Well, two weeks before I died, I also gave £20 to
the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died,
I gave £20 to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay," says St Peter, "just wait here a minute
while I have a word with the big man."
Ten minutes pass before St Peter returns. He looks the bloke
in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees
with me, we've had a whip round. Here's your sixty quid back,
now fuck off."
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What do you Call Peter Crouch If He Wasn't A Pro Footballer?
A Virgin
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I am gutted, I have just been told there's a kopite in our family
tree! Mind you I have just been home and I must admit He looks
f**cking great hanging there!
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Due to the Bird Flu outbreak DEFRA announced today that there
will be a culling of 20,000 turkeys in Somerset. Redshite have
announced that 20,000 half season tickets are to be sold as
a result.
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A loyal Everton fan was sitting quietly having a beer in this
pub near anal field when a big Shiite fan walks in and sits
next to him.
Two min's later the Shiite fan gets up and punches him. Then
says "jya know what dat was? Dat was Kung Fu, from Japan
Dat was".
5 Min's later the Shiite fan gets up again and whacks him again.
THis time he says "j'ya know what dat was? Dat was karate
from Japan dat was".
The everton fan got up and walked out without saying a word.
10 min's later the everton fan walks into the pub and whacks
the Shiite fan, knocking him out cold!
He then says to the barman "when that cunt wakes up tell
him that was a fuckin shovel from B&Q"!!!
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After the recent break in at Steven Gerrard's house he was heard
to of said “Honest officer, I had six premiership winners medals
stolen from the cabinet”. To which the officer replied “Oh come
on Mr. Gerrard, you may be a half decent footballer but your
no Phil Neville are you…………
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Whats the difference between Anfield and Ann Summers?
Anfield has more draws
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