bluekipper.com - Everton Blue Blubber 3

This page is for all you Evertonians who enjoy wry smile, even if it is at the expense of the redshite. If you know a good joke, a tall tale or a good story then e-mail it to us at Blue Blubber.

Blue Blubber Index

Blue Blubber 100 (Remember the name - Dave Rooney)

Practical Mathematics for Redshite fans

National Curriculum Key Stage 2

(age 7-11)

1. Harry lives in Yorkshire and has to drive 100 miles each way to get to work in Liverpool. If he travels at 60 mph, how much time does he waste every week on this pointless journey? How much if he detours 30 miles to pick up Jerzy on the way?

2. Michael refuses to begin contract talks until his current contract runs out. If the contract runs out in June, how many weeks will elapse before he begins playing for a club with a realistic chance of success? (Clue: the new season starts in August.)

3.the redshite are renowned as one of the 'Big Five' English clubs, and have won the League many times. However, the Premiership title has eluded them for the past 11 years. How many clubs have won the Premiership title?
(Bonus Points awarded for teams not in "Big Five".)

4. Vladimir makes 36 incisive runs in a 90 minute match. Given that the ball reaches him via the remaining inept squad only once in every 24 runs, what is the chance he will score two goals in a game?

5. Steven is not feeling well. If he has to report to the physio every day for eight consecutive months beginning in August, how many Premiership games will he miss?

6. Stevie Mc left the redshite several years ago hoping to win medals. Express as a percentage the number of Champions League medals he would have won had he stayed, compared to the number now in his collection.

7. Mr Moores buys a football club for several million and invests several more a year for 12 years of the Premiership. Assuming Monsieur Gerard siphons off 60,000 grand a week for seven years and the trophy cabinet stays empty, how much is the club worth at the end of it?

8. In the eleven seasons from 1992, the redshite finished in the following league positions: 6th, 8th, 5th, 3rd, 4th, 3rd, 7th, 4th, 3rd, 2nd and 5th. On average, how many Champions League places should England be awarded to give the redshite a reasonable chance of qualifying? (Hint: more than the current 2 + 2 qualifying)

9. El Hadj's car does 20 miles to the gallon. If he travels at a constant speed of 5 mph for 40 minutes, how much petrol will he use before he receives a police caution for spitting out the window ?

10. Emile's woefully inadequate shooting hits the target 3 per cent of the time. In the unlikely event that he has 15 shots in a match, how many fans are inconvenienced by having to throw the ball back to him?

Blue Blubber 99 (Nigel Newport-Black)

A moral question.

For you keen photographers! A Moral Question.

Do you have a conscience? On your honour, what would you do?
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. Please don't answer it without giving it some serious thought. By giving an honest answer you will be able to test where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation, where you will have to make a decision one way or the other. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and consider each line - this is important for
the test to work accurately.
YOUR TEST

You're in Florida...In Miami, to be exact...
There is great chaos going on around you, caused by a hurricane and severe floods .......
There are huge masses of water all over you....
You are a CNN photographer and you are in the middle of this great disaster.
The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot very impressive photos.
There are houses and people floating around you, disappearing into the water.
Nature is showing all its destroying power and is ripping everything away with it.
Suddenly you see a man in the water, he is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken away by the masses of water and mud.
You move closer.
Somehow the man looks familiar.

Suddenly you know who it is - it's Houllier!!

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him away, forever. You have two options. You can save him or you can take the best photo of your life. You can save the life of Monsieur Gerard or you can shoot a Pulitzer prize winning photo. A unique photo displaying the death of one of the world's top (?) football managers.

Now here's the question:
(Please be honest).

Would you select colour film, or go with classic black and white?

Blue Blubber 98 (cab man 55)

The shite's welsh striker is on a big night out with Robbie Williams and Kylie, they all get pissed.
On the way out of the nightclub Kylie trips and falls, her head gets stuck between some railings. Robbie decides it's too good an oppourtunity to miss and lifts the Aussie songbirds mini skirt and takes advantage of the best rear in pop.
After finishing, he turns to the 'penalty king' and says "Your turn Michael."
At this point he notices Owen crying his eyes out, "What's wrong Michael ?" asks Robbie.
The blubbing Owen replies "I'll never fit my head through those railings!!!!!!!!"

Blue Blubber 97 (Terry Holloway)

Michael Owen is killed in a car accident and his remains are badly mangled. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so Gerard Houllier and Phil Thompson were sent for.

Gerard Houllier went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Houllier said "Sacred Bleu, ee's pretty badly mangled non?, roll 'im over". So the mortician rolled him over. Houllier looked and said "Non, it ees not Michael"

The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Phil Thompson in to identify the body. Big nose took a look at him and said, "Yeah, he's badly mangled der lad, roll him over". The mortician rolled him over and Thompson looked down and said, "No, dats not Michael".

The mortician asked, "How can you both tell?"

Houllier said, "Well, Michael had two arseholes."

"What, he had two arseholes???" said the mortician.

"Mais oui", said Houllier, "everyone knew he had two arseholes". Every time we went into town with him, everyone would say, 'Here comes Michael Owen with the two arseholes....'"

Blue Blubber 96 (Dublin Derek)

Gerard Houllier was caught speeding on his way to Anfield today.When questioned by the magistrate he said, "I'll do anything for 3 points".

A man hands over a £50 note to the turnstyle operator at Anfield
"Two please".
Turnstyle Operator: "Will that be defenders or strikers, sir?"

How many Liverpool fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they're all happy living in the shadows.

What do you get if you see a Liverpool fan buried up to his neck in sand?
More sand.

What is the difference between the Elephant man and Emile Heskey? The Elephant Man has a better chance of scoring.

Apparently, Gerard Houllier offered to send the Liverpool squad on an all expenses paid holiday to Florida, but they said they'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.

Gerard Houllier was wheeling his shopping trolley across the
supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her shopping.
He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" The old lady replied,
"F**k Off - You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out!"

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in.
Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance
a voice shouts out "Liverpool are good enough to win the League."
Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

A man desperate at Liverpool's current situation decides to top
himself.In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the
very last moment, he decides upon wearing his full Liverpool kit as his
last statement. A neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident,
informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the Liverpool
kit and dress the man in stockings and suspenders. The man,totally confused
asks why.
The policeman simply replies, "it's to avoid embarrassing your family."

A bloke goes into the John Lennon Airport and manages to eventually
get into the departure lounge where his flight home is being called. All
around him there are overturned tables, smashed windows, computer
terminals broken, upturned chairs and crowd control barriers lying on the
floor.
"Christ, what's happened here?" he asks one of the ground crew.
"Oh yeah...", he replies "Absolutely hopeless .... we had the
Liverpool players in here this morning filming the new Nike ad".

Blue Blubber 95 (Andystripe)

Michael Owen is driving down Queens Drive doin 80mph lookin around anxiously when he sees the flashing blue lights and pulls over straight away, the grin on his face growing! He jumps out and rushes over to the police car.
"Thankyou officer, thankyou so much"
"Errr, Mr Owen can you tell me why you're so happy when you have been caught speeding".
"Yeah, it means that at last I've finally got a penalty!"

Blue Blubber 94 (Si Flaherty)

George Bush has decided where to put Saddam Hussien, where he won't be a threat to anyone. Up front for the shite !!!!

Blue Blubber 93(Meatloaf)

What's the connection between Bonnie Tyler & the red shite? They both Lost in France!!

Blue Blubber 92(Alan Sinnot)

The Secret Diary of Michael Owen (Aged 24 and a Third)

Monday.
Scored all my penalties in training again. Boss still says I'm the best. Didi and Danny were giggling in to their training tops when he said that. I don't like them. Just cause they're tall, they think they're so big.

Tuesday.
Can't wait for the European game. It's someone I've never heard of, but boss insists they are 'quality opposition'. I believe him. He has such faith in me, he plays me all the time. I think I am falling for him.

Wednesday.
Spent last night with Emile. He cries alot, and won't tell anyone else his problems. Lots of people around here are starting to cry. Saw Tommo round the training sheds the other day. He pretended he wasn't crying and said he still had faith that one day, I would score again. I like him, he's funny.

Thursday.
Night of the big game. Stau Romania third team looked sharp when I watched them. The part time rat-catcher who plays up front looks deadly. Boss wants six at the back, three close to the back and me up front. Sometimes think the Boss is too clever for football.

Friday.
Beaten by the better team. Two screamers by the postman and a blinder by the child-carer keeper was too much for us. But Boss insists that this is he 'turnaround'. We can now concentrate on staying in the top half of the bottom half of the table. He says not to worry, he's off on a booze cruise at the weekend for some cheap plonk and some more wingers. I trust him.

Saturday.
Scored! Took it round the last defender and banged it in the roof of the net! But Jenny made me turn the playstation off, because it's a hospital and she still needs her rest. Ahh, well.

Sunday
Missed a penalty. Only because the ball moved slightly in the breeze. And Niemi was making faces.
Hit the post from two yards, but the thing is, posts get bigger as you get closer to them don't they? Boss agrees. Didi laughed.

Blue Blubber 91 (Richie Higham)

A father and son were together at the table eating breakfast. The father's newspaper had the headline "Van Gogh sold for £8 million".
The son asked, "Is he worth it, Dad?"
To which the father, surprised at his son's interest in fine art, replied "I suppose so, son. Why do you ask?"
The son said "Well, the redshite paid more than that for Heskey, and he's crap"

Blue Blubber 90 (Fred Formby & Rob Fearnley)

Little Johnny was in his primary school class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up; fireman, policeman, plumber, builder, salesman, politician and so on..
Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good,
he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap room and take it up the arse!!."
The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring and then took little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is that
really true about your father?"
"No," said Johnny,
"My father plays for the redshite, but I was just too embarrassed to say".

Blue Blubber 89 (Dirty Harry)

Two redshite die and wake up in hell. The devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in anoraks and hoodies warming themselves around the fire.
The devil asks, "Isn't it hot enough for you?"
They reply, "'Well, we're red's bud, and it's always raining where we come from. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit and dry out eh?".
The devil decides they aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, there they are, still in anoraks and hoodies.

The devil asks again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel it?"
Again they reply, "Well, like we told ya, we're from Liverpool, it's even wetter than Ireland, and we're just happy for a chance to warm up and dry out a little, eh?"

This gets the devil steamed up. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go.People are wailing and screaming. He finds the two redshite in light jackets, grilling sausages and drinking shandy.
The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves. Why?"
The two Kopites reply, "We don't get much warm weather in Liverpool. We've just got to have a cook-out when the weather is THIS nice."

The devil is furious, and decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, icicles are everywhere, people are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles. He finds the two
redshite back in their anoraks and hoodies. But now they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling & screaming like mad men!

The Devil is dumbfounded. "When I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?"
The scousers look at the devil in surprise,
"Don't you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean that we've won the Premiership under Houllier!"

Blue Blubber 88 (Colin Drury)

Pinnochio is stomping around the shites training ground in a worse mood than usual, so frogeyes call him in to his office.
"What's the problem Phil you seem to be in a worse mood than usual?"
"Ah eh sorry boss" says Pinnochio feeling a bit sorry for himself "but I've got a few problems at home like and it's beginning to get me down"
"Oh dear Phil what sort of problems" says Frogeyes fearing the worse, "is there anything I can do to help?"
"Well eh it sounds daft like boss but me missus bought me this jigsaw puzzle like and I just can't get to grips with it. I can see the picture on the box an all that like but I just can't get the pieces to fit together like. I've been trying to do it for ages like, I haven't slept for weeks" moans big nose.
Frogeyes can't believe what he's hearing "You mean to tell me that you are ranting and raving at the players in training because you can't do a fucking jigsaw puzzle?
"Eh well I know it sounds stupid like" says big nose "but its like doin me head in boss, it's like a drug, I walk in the house and this puzzle is sitting on the kitchen table with a big picture of a tiger looking at me. I try and ignore it like but I get drawn back to it and I've been trying for weeks but the pieces just won't go together. I'm really sorry boss but I just can't help it"
Frogeyes starts feeling a bit sorry for him so says "look Thommo, if it helps why don't you bring the puzzle in tomorrow and we'll try and do it together, it can't be that difficult surely?"
"Ah that great that is boss" says big nose "thanks I will. Thanks boss I knew you'd be able to help". Big nose skips out of Frogeyes office in a much happier mood.
The next day after training Big nose walks in to Frogeyes office with a box under his arm. He pours the contents of the box out on to Frogeyes desk with a happy grin and says "come on then boss do yer stuff".
Frogeyes looks up and says "Phil, put all those fucking Frosties back in the box and piss off".

Blue Blubber 87 (Big Ged)

An Evertonian walks in into a bric-a-brac shop and sees an ornamental brass rat, the sort of thing women of a certain
age love to put on their mantelpiece.
He thinks "that`ll be perfect for my mothers birthday", so he asks the shopkeeper how much it is.
"£25 for the rat & £1,000 for the story, replies the man.
"Forget the story" says the bloke and buys the rat for 25 quid (not THE rat).
He walks off down the road but has not gone 30 yards when a rat comes up from the gutter and starts to follow him.
Soon more arrive and more arrive and in a few minutes the whole street is a sea of rats, all following the bloke, who keeps walking until he comes to a cliff. He throws the brass rat over the edge and thousands of rats follow, one after another, plunging to certain death.
The bloke runs back to the shop.....
"Aaaah", says the shopkeeper, "I suppose you`re back for the story then"?,
"Fuck the story, have you got a brass kopite".

redshite launch own TV station

First day schedule

8:00-9:00 Scrapheap Challenge - Two teams of contestants try to assemble a decent football team from the redshite squad.

9:00-11:00 Film - As Good As It Gets redshite qualify for the UEFA Cup.

11:00-12:00 Faking It - Gerard Houllier pretends to be a football manager but will he fool anyone?

12:00-13:00 How do they do that? -Stories behind the most unbelievable events and occurences. This weeks programme concentrates on Emile Heskey. How does he keep getting picked for the England team? How comes a guy built like a brick shit'ouse spends more time on his back then Jordan does? The most unbelievable story is how the hell did he manage to score an overhead kick against Birmingham? Was it meant to be a pass? Find out.......

14:00-15:00 The Weakest Link - Anne Robinson hosts this popular quiz programme. Tonights special contestants are Vladimir Smicer, Igor Biscan and Jerzy Dudek.

15:00-16:00 Holby City - This weeks episode: "Hypocondriac". Michael Owen is admitted for another hamstring injury sustained playing golf with his mates, but discharges himself immediately when he realises he's forgotten his Teddy Bear.

16:00-18:00 Film: End of Days - redshite's realisation that a once great European footballing force now target the Worthless Cup as their only hope of silverware (besides nicking hubcaps). Hubcaps it is then......

18:00-19:00 Film '04 - Jonathan Ross reviews all the latest blockbuster movies. This week he reviews Bend It Like Big Nose, El Hadji Diouf and the 40000 Thieves.

19:00-20:00 Whose Line is it Anyway? - Ex-redshite and Analfield favourite Robbie Fowler discusses drug etiquette at parties and reflects on how Manchester coke isn't as good as that from Merseyside

20:00-22:00 Newsnight Special - Incredible footage taken by the Americans, shot last Saturday, watched by the nation. A dazed, dishevelled and clearly bewildered leader being led from his temporary shelter. The slow realisation that the mighty empire he thought he ruled had dissembled, and that the game was finally up. Finally knowing that, instead of being loved, he was hated by his own people and laughed at by everyone else...........and Phil Thompson next to him in the dugout didn't look much better (Blue Blubber 81).

Blue Blubber 85 - Andy Mabbs

Gerard Houllier was driving down the motorway one day when he is pulled over by the police. He is obviously a bit worried as the policeman walks up to the drivers side and asks him to get out of the car.
The policeman looks at him rather critically and says, "I'm sorry sir, but you have been driving erratically and I am afraid that I am going to have to ask you to take a breath test."
At this, Gerard Houllier rummages around inside his coat and pulls out a card which states "Gerard Houllier, recent heart attack - do not breathalise."
"In that case" states the policeman, "I'm afraid you are going to have to come down the station for a blood test." Gerard promptly rummages around inside his coat again and pulls out another card. This time it states "Gerard Houllier, registered haemophiliac - do not take blood tests."
The policeman, getting a bit irritated at this point, follows up by saying, "Very well sir, if that is the case I am going to have to ask for a urine sample." At this, he rummages around a bit more and pulls out a card which states "Gerard Houllier, redshite Manager - DON'T TAKE THE PISS"!!

Blue Blubber 84 - Tony Crumlin

A young footballing talent was on the brink of signing for the redshite. Just as he was about to put pen to paper they found out that he was Jewish and turned him down on the grounds that he was circumcised.
Later, in a Press statement, Houllier confirmed that only complete dicks were allowed to sign for the redshite!

Blue Blubber 83 - Blue Boots ( 2 for the price of 1)

Houllier has bought the new Dido album because he relates to the words of the song 'White Flag'
' I will go down with this shit!'

If most Evertonians live on Merseyside,
Most Manc's in Torquay,
Most Arse in North London,
Where do most redshite live?
-
In the fuckin' past!!!!!

Blue Blubber 82- Mike Dodd

Gerard Houllier was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping.
He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?"
To which the old lady replied, " I can, but you fuckin' can't!"

Blue Blubber 81- Tricky Nikkie

That incredible footage, shot over last weekend, that we all saw on TV.

A dazed, dishevelled and clearly bewildered man being led from his
temporary shelter.

The slow realisation that the mighty empire he thought he ruled had
crumbled, and that the game was finally up.

Finally, knowing that instead of being loved, he was hated by his own
people, and laughed at by everyone else,

and Phil Thompson next to him didn't look much better!!!

Blue Blubber 80 - Richie Higham (he's on a roll)

QUESTIONAIRRE: Are you Emile Heskey?

Take this test to see whether you are indeed redshite and England lump
Emile Heskey or infact a half-decent player who actually produces the goods
that your position requires...

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1. You are through on goal with only the keeper and a defender left to
beat. The last defender is only 5'3" and seven stone. What happens next?

a) You round him easily and take the keeper on one-to-one, then calmly
chip the ball over his head into the empty net.
b) Take the defender on for speed and skin him, then round the keeper
and walk the ball confidently into the goal.
c) The defender accidentally blows on you as he gets within three
yards...and you fall over, flat on your great big fat hairy arse. Then
it's both arms up and face pulled in the hope that the referee will give you
the most unlikely penalty ever awarded.

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2. Would you describe yourself as a prolific goalscorer?

a) Yes.
b) No, but you have scored more than your fair share in your career.
c) Would you fuck. If you're a prolific goalscorer then Mandy Smith's a
beached whale.

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3. You are walking down the street one day when a bird shits on you
from overhead. How do you react to this?

a) Smile and see the funny side of it.
b) Wipe it off gingerly and look to the skies in disgust.
c) Fall over on the spot as though you've just been snipered through the
head with a hunting rifle. Then roll over and demand that the bird be sent
off.

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4. How quickly can you run the 100 metres?

a) Very quickly, with a best time of 10.3 seconds.
b) Quite fast, though you can only manage it in just over 11 seconds.
c) "Run"? What the fuck is that? You mean waddle along like a big fat sack
of shit on a skateboard....?

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5. During a match, a high ball is crossed to you in the penalty area.
How do you head the ball?

a) With extreme power and accuracy.
b) Quite powerfully and with some degree of accuracy, though heading has
never been your strongest point.
c) With your arse...because you've been upended again by some three-foot
anorexic dwarf defender from West Brom.

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6. A long ball is played up to you from defence. It's a fair distance
ahead of you, so what do you do?

a) Get your head down and set off at full pace, reaching it just before it
goes out of play for a goal-kick.
b) Try to make it to the ball, because the cause is never lost. It's always
worth making the effort.
c) Nothing. Just stand there like a great big fat soft-arsed twat and pull
a Lenny Henry face as if it's not down to you.

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7. During a match you are involved in a bruising challenge with a
smaller player from the opposition. Which of these is the most likely
outcome?

a) The player bounces off your huge frame and knocks himself out, has to
leave the field and is out through injury for several weeks.
b) The opposing player is slightly shaken, though not badly hurt, and from
then on he makes sure he doesn't do it again.
c) You are incongruously bounced fifty feet in the air and land in Row Z,
where you suffer a broken face, three dislocated teeth, etc.

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8. Your nickname at your former club was "Bruno". Why was this?

a) Because Bruno is such a macho sounding name and goes with your
hulking appearance.
b) Because your aggressive approach reminds you of the old St Bernard
dog off the St Bruno adverts - big, strong, relentless and tough as old
boots.
c) Because of the boxer, Frank Bruno, and the fact that he was useless
twat who kept falling flat on his arse for no reason as well too.

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9. What has been the biggest effect since your transfer to Liverpool?

a) The higher profile and the greater expectations of the fans.
b) Just the fact that you are playing for one of most famous clubs in
history.
c) Earthquakes in the Merseyside area have increased by 3000% because
of your great big fat arse hitting the deck so many times. Much more of it
and they'll be pulling the stands down due to foundation damage.

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ANSWERS:
Mainly a: You're not Emile Heskey.
Mainly b: Neither are you.
Mainly c: Well done, you are Emile Heskey and you're fucking crap. Long may you remain with the redshite

PS Unluckly miss in the last second against the Manc's - it could've happened to almost anyone!!

Blue Blubber 79 - Richie Higham

On a rare day off, Gerard Houllier was cleaning out his cellar when he came
across an old lamp. Thinking it was valuable he rubbed it to clean off the
dust. To his surprise out popped a Genie who said, "Oh master, I grant you
one wish."

Rather surprised, Houllier thought for a while before replying, "Hhmmm... I
know! Since I like going to France to find young players I would like you to
build a bridge from Liverpool to France since I don't like flying and the
trains are unreliable - this way I could drive."

"Oh no master," responded the Genie, "that is an impossible request, it
would take the will of a thousand genies to grant you that wish - you must
choose a task I can grant you."

Houllier mumbled under his breath for a bit before saying, "I have a player
in my team who should score more goals, can you make Heskey into a 20 goals
a season player?"

To which the Genie replied, "OK, what colour lights do you want on your
bridge."

Blue Blubber 78 - Nigel Newport-Black

A Scouse family of redshite supporters head out one Saturday to do their
Christmas shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an Everton
shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided to be an Everton supporter and I
would like this for Christmas".

His sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and
says, "Go talk to your mother". Off goes the little lad with the blue football
shirt in hand and finds his mother.

"Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an Everton supporter and
I would like this shirt for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this, promptly
whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your father".
Off he goes with the blue shirt in hand and finds his father.

"Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an Everton supporter and I
would like this shirt for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks
his son around the head and says "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The
father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?"
The son says, "Yes dad I have." "Good son, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been an Everton supporter for an hour and already I hate
you redshite bastards!"

Blue Blubber 77- Liam

Foolier was spotted in The Job Centre last Friday, prior to playing Leeds & just in case they lost and he found himself out of a job the following day.
After an hour browsing he selected a card and approached the clerk sheepishly for details. She read the card, looked up at old Frog Eyes and said, 'What do you know about being a Chiropodist?'
Foolier replied, 'I'm told I'm very good at handling de-feet!'

Blue Blubber 76- Ste Enty Jnr.
redshite Telephone Booking Office

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