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This page is for all you Evertonians who enjoy wry smile, even if it is at the expense of the redshite. If you know a good joke, a tall tale or a good story then e-mail it to us at Blue Blubber. Blue Blubber 174 (Sue Jones)
Blue Blubber 173 (Mike)
Blue Blubber 172 (Ste Jones) What
has Sami Hyypia & Kerry McFadden got in common? Blue Blubber 171 (Jimmy Searle) Here's a little redshite tale. A totally true story . . . . . . When the shite played Man U in The Mickey mouse cup final a couple of years ago, some lad i know went down to cardiff, and had a little bet on the game, Something to do with The dirty prick gerrard scoring and guessing the result as well. He won about £400, and so he brought everyone on his coach beers for the journey home, in the form of many crates of lager and as you can imagine was quite a popular figure on the coach. Here's the sick part - He fell asleep on the coach and HIS OWN FANS who he'd brought ale for earlier, robbed him of all his money, his mobile and mini disc player. The End. Blue Blubber 170 (Joey Johnston) Two red shite's dressed from head to toe in red shit were walking down the street fed up with the crap they were seeing at Analfield. All of a sudden above a building they see a sign in blue neon lights saying turn from red to blue for only £2.99. "This is it, our nightmare is over" said one of the shit 'eds." "How much money have you got on you" says the other shit 'ed. He gets all he's coins out of his pocket and starts counting........Half an hour later he replies, "I've only got £2.98, shit!" Then the 1st red shite says, "Don't worry I've got three pound coins, I'll go in first come out and give you my penny change." Happy, his mate agrees. Ten minutes later the 1st fan comes out of the building sporting Everton's new yellow 3rd strip with an Everton cap and whistling the theme from Z Cars. His mate runs over shouting, "yes, yes this is it, my dream will come true, hurry and give that penny" The new Toffeeman then replied, "fuck off ya smelly kopite prick" Blue Blubber 169 (Graeme Stokes)
Blue Blubber 168 (Spudmunkey) Stevie
G drives into training one morning, and a young red shite stops Blue Blubber 167 (Chris Horan) Collina the Homer
What's the connection between Collina and Everton? They both got new Ferrari's this week! Blue Blubber 166 (Andy, Stew & Phil)
Blue Blubber 165 (Ged)
Blue Blubber 164 ( Kris Everton (aka Bluenose Kris), Western Australia) An
entry to the Red shite thingo, with a difference. Not sure if any
of you visit urbandictionary.com, but I have added this one today.
May take a while to get added, or may get kicked out, but there are
another 2 crackers on Red Shite
Excrement that is Red in colour. Quite possibly the most offensive
odour of the entire Shite family. Red Shite is unusual in so much
as it appears mainly in an area of Merseyside in the United Kingdom
called Analfield. 4 - EVERTON 5
- Crying Red-Shite (Shitus-absolutus-Redius) Blue Blubber 163 (Stew, Andy & Phil - original by Matt McCormack)
Blue Blubber 162 (Big Hez) From FIFA, EUFA, FA……. Breaking News……….. GMT. 16.15. London England, FA Headquarters.
Chelsea However there will be a special dispensation for the redshite, the current holders of the cup, see below for details. The redshite will be allowed into the competition next Season, they can by-pass the qualifying round, and go straight into the group section. Only the top two from each group will be allowed to progress to the next stages. However, see below.
All teams who enter the knock-out stages will be eliminated if they are beaten over the two legs, however, see below. If the redshite get beat over the 2 games in the knock-out stages, they will be allowed to continue in the competition because they are the current champions, and have won the cup an impressive five times. This rule has been changed to make the Champions League a more fair and just competition, this rule will be valid throughout the knock-out stages, and will not, NOT be effective for the final, however, see below…. If the redshite get into next seasons final they may or may not be allowed to win/lose, even if they get beat by the other team, but in the event of a tie, or if they score more goals than their opponents, they will be allowed to lift the famous trophy, no extra time or penalties will be allowed, in the unfortunate event of the other team winning, we will again sit and adjudicate on whether or not this will be allowed, as they are the holders, our committee should grant them the cup, as we have granted them a place in the 2005/06 competition. So congratulations go out to all redshite, champions of Europe, 1977, 78, 82, 84, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 etc….. Reuters London David Davies. FA Chairman (& closet redshite) Blue Blubber 161 (Ian Mills)
Blue Blubber 160 (Karl Carey) I wanna stick up for the redshites, it was a redshite who invented the toilet seat, but it took an Evertonian to put the hole in it. Q. Why don't redshites breast
feed? Q.
Did you hear about the new redshite invention? Blue Blubber 159 (Nineyards Left)
Blue Blubber 158 (Stuey P) NEWSFLASH! There has been an explosion at the Duerrs friut preserve factory next door to Analfield. One eyewitness said, "...the stuff was everywhere! I have never seen such a jammy team in my life". Blue Blubber 157 (Neil “Blue till I die” Tompsett) EXCLUSIVE - UEFA CHAMPIONS LEAGUE BADGE Following Everton's qualification for The Champions League, UEFA have brought out a specially designed badge. Everton will wear this on their new shirts and all merchandise throughout the competition.
Blue Blubber 156 Redshite Let Into Champions League After pressure from their mates in the G14 Group, UEFA have caved in and give the shite a place in The Champions League next season. Full details on the uefa.com website. http://www.uefa.com/htm Blue Blubber 155 (TK) Something Only We Know (sung to Keane's : Somewhere Only We Know) I
looked across, the Park End Stand Oh
Everton, what have you done? I
gaze across, what do I see Oh
Everton what have you done? And
if you have a minute why don't we go Oh
Everton what have you done? And
if you have a minute why don't we go aaaaaaaa.... ooooooo...... Everton
well they mean everything Blue Blubber 154 (Chris Hutchinson) Definite clarification was later received from the linesman (assistant referee) on the near side that the ball had in fact crossed the goal line.
Blue Blubber 153 (thegoldenvision) Election Special
Blue Blubber 152 (Andy Wigg) “Is this the way to our San Siro?” Tra
la la lala lalala - MOYES-EY! A
new era’s dawning; we’ll be fourth on Sunday morning, Is
this the way to our San Siro? Show
me the way to Our San Siro, Tra
la la lala lalala - MOYES-EY! Gladwys
Street are singing, Park End knows the joy they’re feeling, Is
this the way to our San Siro? Show
me the way to Our San Siro, Tra
la la lala lalala - MOYES-EY! Tra
la la lala lalala MOYES-EY! Blue Blubber 151 (Dan Owen, 16, Cardiff!)
Blue Blubber 150 (Marcus Leigh) Redshite
fan is walking through town (obviously over on a shopping trip from
Norway) when he spots a sign in a shop window that reads ‘LFC – The
Glory Years. Available here on video.’
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