*Lagerback: "The only reason you're in this squad instead of Jesper is because of what you can do with that tongue. Nobodys looking give us a quick look at it." Latch. (25/05/02)

* Lagerback: " sorry nic your not good enough to be a footballer, but my mate is the manager of a boy band and he'd like a word with you." Matt Geraghty (25/05/02)

*Lagerback: "What are you doing Nic?"

Saint Nic: "Look I've got a brown tounge from lickin Smiths arse every week to get a game!" humphreys (25/05/02)

* Lagerback: "why do they call you saint nic. ur shite!"David Brent (24/05/02)

* Lagerback: "could u tell me Jespers number, ur goin home"David Brent. (24/05/02)

*'Lagerback: "Oh yeah! With that tongue action I bet you're a big hit with the ladies Nic?!!" Lou x. (24/05/02)

* Lagerback: "listen mate I don't fucking care what you can do with your tongue and lips; if you play as crap for me as you do for Everton I will put you in the stands faster than you can say 'jesper'! "Norwegian Blue Andy. (24/05/02)

* Lagerback: "Look, I know you never get closer than 30 yards to the bye line at Everton but you want to impress the world here in Japan with your runs right down
the wing. So now, let's try stopping this time before you run into the
advertising board again." eddy T the bluenose from Bletchley. (24/05/02)

* Lagerback: Nic. If you play like a monkey your gonna look like a monkey.Mike Kendrick. (24/05/02)

* Lagerback: "Ive just seen your wife Nic, phwaaa!
Nic: "Yeah, she loves it when I do this!!"
Lagerback: "Right anyway, back to tactics!" Toffee Man Da. (24/05/02)

* Lagerback: "It`s a complicated tactic I know, but have you ever thought of going past a full back?" Tom Coleman. (24/05/02)

* Lagerback: "If you don't stop pulling those funny faces at me, I'll make sure you play a FULL season for Everton."
Nic: "Wanna bet!" Mike F. (24/05/02)

* Lagerback: "No, sorry Nic, you don't look like Beckham & you certainly don't play like him." Mike F. (24/05/02)

* Lagerback says: "Nic, when I said "give us a passing impression of Beckham", I meant on the pitch." Mike F. (24/05/02)

* Lagerback says: "Sorry Nic, but that's the last time you go on the piss with Gazza." BluenoseSweden. (23/05/02)

* Lagerback says: "Just a little to the right and that bogie is gone." Ste Chapman. (23/05/02)

* Lagerback says: " Ok then Nic, you can play on the right wing in the world
cup, only if you can do one thing for me."

Nic Alex says: "I can touch my nose with my tongue, see."

Lagerback says: "What, no, Score some fucking goals for us!!!" Chris Sinnott. (23/05/02)

* Lagerback says: "Well your Mick Jagger impression is a damn site better than your fuckin crossing!" Hoogie. (23/05/02)