Tranmere 1 v 0 Everton                              Sat. 4th Aug 2001

Att:11,239

Everton : Simonsen ,Watson, Stubbs, Weir, Pistone,Unsworth,Moore, Gemmill, Pembridge,Radzinski, Campbell .
Subs: Myhre, Clarke, Tal, Cleland, Alexandersson, McLeod, Hibbert, Chadwick, Cadamarteri ,Gravesen

Subs not used: None

When we finally got in the Cow shed end we were greeted with the news that Duncan was out with a groin problem and that Simmo had another chance to show us how good he is. Dave Watson got a great reception as he waved to all the crowd.You will always be an Evertonian to us Waggy.

This as usual was no friendly , it was all fast and furious stuff with nobody holding back with the tackles.The Toffees should have gone ahead after 10 minutes when Super headed on a punt from Simmo straight into the path of Rad ( is he quick or what),but his effort was smothered by Rovers keeper Murphy. It really was end to end stuff and Jigsaw gave us a fright when he had the ball in the net but fortunately the Ref gave a free kick against Hill for fouling Davy Weir in the build up

Alan Stubbs again showed us what to expect this season when he hit a 60 yard (yes 60) ball to the fast Radzinski who tried a chip but was saved easily.

HALF - TIME : Tranmere 0 Everton 0.

Everton started the 2nd half with a completey different team.The only three that stayed on were Weir , Pistone and Radzinski.The first touch Tommy Myhre had to make was picking the ball out of the net after Henry hit a volley just inside the box.

The Blues should have levelled when somehow Davy Weir headed over from 6 yards .Disaster struck when Radzinski limped off after pulling up with what looked like a hamstring problem. Lets hope its not serious ,I don't think I could cope if we start having these injury problems again. By the way it was young Chadwick who came on for Rad.

And it was Nick Chadwick who should have equalised when unbelievably he missed the target from 1 yard out.The ball dropped to him when Murphy made a tremendous save from Danny after a great cross from McLeod.

Davy Weir became the only Everton player who was still on the pitch from the start when Tony Hibbert came on for Pisto. It was Hibbert who nearly became the hero when he had two headers that went so close.The first, which the impressive Murphy saved and the other was cleared off the line. It was not going to be our day and things got worse when Danny limped off in the dying minutes.

The one good thing that this game showed us is the impressive crop of youngsters we have at this club. So Bill doesn't need to worry I'm sure that one out of McLeod, Hibbert, Chadwick or Clarke will make millions when sold in the next couple of seasons.

Walter says:"Tomasz could possibly miss Tuesday's game at Wigan, but should be O.K for the game at Goodison on the Monday night. He has a bit of cramp in his hamstring and we hope it is nothing untoward"

About the game Walter said:"I am not too concerned that we missed a few chances. I would be more concerned if we weren't creating any openings in the first place"

"I was disappointed with the way we conceded the goal. It was a soft goal to give away. But overall,it was a good workout for us.Tranmere were up for it and worked hard"

TRANMERE 1 BLUEBELLIES 0: AVAST THERE ME HEARTIES!
by Mickey Blue Eyes

We met up in a Birkenhead pub named Hornblower's. According to The Editor, this is two pubs knocked into one. A mixed experience considering I battered the living daylights out of one of the whippersnappers at pool and then promptly lost to Stu, who is an apparent recruiting agent for the British nazi party and a pretty awful racist to boot. Yes, I frequently want to boot Stu. Furthermore the ale tasted like it had been brewed in the boot of an SS man during the Battle of Stalingrad. But you get on with it. That's the thing about us English, we're always pretty good at getting on with it where mediocrity is concerned. Had Hitler known this he wouldn't have stopped at Dunkirk and left it to fatman Goering to deliver the goods.

Still, the conversation flowed feely and with all the natural elegance and elan we come to expect on these pre-match occasions. Keith was in particularly fine form and clearly in the mood to entertain. The only time he faltered was when he recounted the yarn of how one of his female relatives had said jokingly that she was going to try to turn his young son into a Pinky. At which point Keith lost it seriously and said, "No you won't, coz if you do I'll come round to your place and burn your house down." Anyone who knows Keith will know he wasn't joking. The subject hasn't been raised since.

So Bally's on his way? went the chat. So what? said most, give us the money, Jock footy is just Bally's heavy. He can go AWOL as often as he wants there and it won't matter. He's the one who came in with two years left on his contract and asked for more money and turned down a good offer……considering he hasn't played that many good games for us. You can't have ANY player holding the club to ransom. And anyway Stubbsy looks like he's a much better centre back. We won't miss him even if we are sorry to see him go. Of course this didn't cut any ice with The Distraught Ones. Distraught, that is, at the thought of losing such a good prospect, even one who sometimes mysteriously goes missing at vital moments in a game. Me, I'm in the former camp. After all, he's the one who told a room full of Blue Kippers that he was going nowhere: All he had to do was tell his agent Trevor Steven to do as he was told. If Bally truly wanted to stay he could have stayed and performed at his best. He chose not to. So 'bye Bally and no regrets.

Then there was a quick reprise of last season's FA Cup home disaster against Tranmere, easily the worst ever performance I have seen from an Everton side. It was like a rerun of Your Worst Sporting Experience ever. Gruesome is the only word I can find. If footy was anything other than a hobby it would keep you awake at nights, screaming. We prodded gingerly at the memory and then left it alone. Nobody was morbid enough to mull over the horror. And anyway, as I said, we were too busy trying to make out which species of cat had taken a leak into the lager barrel before it got pumped into our glasses.

And so to the game.

There's no question Hamperfuckwit performed a major miracle with Tranmere. He just didn't have the slightest idea or genuine inclination of how to deal with one of the game's great clubs, us. So he had to be got rid of, and right quick at that, while he was still able to resist the temptation to asset-strip. But his success at Rovers is expressed in how much Prenton Park has changed over the years. Anyone who saw the place at the nadir of Rovers' fortunes will readily concede as much. Last season's relegation was a real sporting tragedy for the club and the wonderful efforts of John Aldridge.

There's an odd atmosphere about the place though. Too many Rovers fans look and sound like for years they drank the same sour brew at Hornblower's. I haven't the slightest idea why this should be so, it just is. Most odd. They sound as though they wouldn't laugh if they saw a chair walk.

The gate looked like it was about half last year's attendance. Once again, it looked as though at least half the crowd were Bluebellies. There were huge gaps in the Rovers section of the ground.

Simo deservedly held his place in goal but Naysmith was still out. Various pre-season strains kept others out or not even on the bench. Radzinski was in from the off.

As usual, Tranmere were into it from the beginning and we quickly settled into an acceptable playing shape without really risking anything. This fixture has become much more meaningful for Tranmere than for us. You could tell this from the number of two-footed tackles they indulged in. In the end, we were obliged to step up a gear to try to avoid injury. But we were no shrinking violets either and occasionally dealt out the same treatment. It was another good pre-season runout.

SuperKev neatly slipped Radzinski through after about ten minutes and he should have buried it. Take nothing from their 'keeper, though, he was out like a flash and made a superb save. If Radzinski can maintain this during the real biz he's going to be a difficult handful for opposing defences. He's faster and sharper than The Ears but with much better body shape and strength, though relatively short and consequently not a good header. The mind boggles at a front three of Radzinski-SuperKev-Yin, a prospect as likely as George Bush suddenly acquiring a brain or a conscience or Smiffy coming out of the dugout screaming, "Attack! Attack! Attack!"

Stubbsy had another good game alongside Davey Weir. The passes kept pinging out of defence to one of ours, no matter at what distance. The feeling of luxury is almost unbelievable.

The first half tempo threatened a goal, mostly from us, without making any other clear cut chances. As with the other two runouts, the playing pattern was encouraging and had touches of real quality here and there. We'll see how it is kept up when the season opens.

In centre midfield we had the heady delight of Pembo-Gemmo. I tell you, it makes a marginal difference. Short of us signing a quality midfielder that would be my pairing.

Eight changes were made at half time. It was enough to show just how short of quality is our squad. The first half teamwork disappeared into the same black hole of the last five seasons. Individually, there were good performances from Kevin McLeod, Chadwick and Peter Clarke. But there was no real shape and we never really looked like we'd do anything except for a short spell near the end. Tranmere scored early in the half when The Gravedigger completely miscued a defensive header just inside the box and it got wellied past a helpless Tommy. Well, it makes a difference from trying to dribble it across the centre of the arc and giving it away, or waving your fist at the crowd. You can't have everything. What a pity The Gravedigger has scarcely much of anything.

And so the game wound to a close with me running out of patience with a trio of no-neck, shaved-heads-and-earrings dickhead, thigh-chaffing fat Rovers fans in front of us. Duh. So it was doubly unfortunate that they were also of the extreme sour type we hoped the game was ridding itself of. Nothing was said to them at first on the basis they'd get tired of it after a while. Sadly, not so. So I started to wind them up. It wasn't hard, disappointingly easy in fact, even easier than winding up a Pinky. All you have to do is press the right buttons and you have them crawling up the wall. It helped to divert attention from the rising tide of gunge out on the pitch.

Next up, Wigan on Tuesday. My, but we know how to show a girl a good time , don't we?
Well don't we?