Arsenal 4 v Everton 3                                                    Saturday 11th May 2002

Kick-Off: 3.00pm.                                                                                         Att :38,254

Everton : Simonsen, Watson, Weir, Stubbs, Unsworth, Alexandersson, Linderoth, Carsley,Pembridge, Radzinski, Campbell.

Subs:

Scorers:
Bergkamp 1-0 (4mins)
Carsley 1-1 (20 mins)
Radzinski 1-2 (31 mins)
Henry 2-2 (33 mins)
Henry 3-2 (72 mins)
Jeffers 4-2 (84 mins)
Watson 4-3 (88 mins)

So, how was it going to be we thought on our way down here? Was it going to be into the lions den like in 1998? Was it going to be a good smacked arse and sent home? Or were we to be party poopers, Moysey said we hadn't had an invite, we had a job to do, get in, get out and come straight home - he says some fuckin beauts!

It did look ominous on paper, the Champions were looking for a record 13 straight wins, they had scored in EVERY game this season and they were unbeaten in 20! Not bad we thought but records are there to be ended, besides which, Venger was Manager of the Month so he had the jinx to contend with.

Hang on, look at their team, things are looking up, Arsne has only picked 4 who played against Man U, they've got their international reserve team out with the exception of 5th choice striker Dumbo who was promoted to their bench - oh I forgot to mention Bergkamp & Henry who returned up front!

Moysey on the other hand opted to drop his internationals - is there a message here for Jesper? Simo returned in goal for Mr Magoo who was squinting from the bench and The Rad & Super were given another chance to warm up. Well the party was well & truly going before we came out, any excuse to get on the mike again and crank it up a little bit more, we came out and lined up to clap on the Champions - Stubbsy took it a bit too far!

4 mins gone and Ashley Cole gets past Watson who was slack and then Stubbs who was woeful and squared the ball to Berkamp who slotted it past Simo who had no chance, we gave them their first present.This was to be the first of 4 presents because Stubbs was at fault for every goal and had an absolute howler, he was worse than shite today.

We responded well, Nic and Not So Super Kev linked well and put Carsley through and his effort was saved. Then Unsey put a great through ball to Not So and he put it wide under pressure with just the goalie to beat, he should have scored. He then had a more difficult chance a couple of minutes later and repeated his miss, he really wasn't much of a threat today.

Henry should have put The Gooners two up when he beat the offside trap, went round Simo and then slotted it wide, this was a let off!

Slowly we were starting to get into our game, good passing and even movement! Pembo had a shot from 20 yards which was saved and the equaliser followed not long after. A long ball from Stubbs was chased by Super, he won the ball and squared it to the Rad who laid it off for Harry Hill who smashed it in hard and low from the egde of the box, partypooping had started.

We were well on top now and Not So Super could have put us in front, the Rad crossed deep to Pembo and he knocked it back across the goal for a far post header which was blocked. A few minutes later Nic robbed Cole out wide and put the Rad through he missed a sitter. What was happening? We were like a piles, all over The Arse!

We were then treated to our only piece of cake, the Rad robbed Dixon on the half way line, went on a run half the pitch and slotted it in to put us ahead, somebody pinch me! Happy days!!

But being a Toffeeman we know our joy is shortlived, two minutes later they were level. against the run of play Stubbsys nightmare continued he was robbed by Bergkamp when he was in charge, the Dutchman drew Simo then squared it to Henry to tap in, all square again. There were further chances at both ends for the frustrating Nic and Terry Henry at the other but we went in disappointed at half-time, with a bit of self belief and a kick up the arse for Campbell, Alexandersson & Stubbs we could win this.

HALF TIME 2-2

The team talk did not have the 'self belief' bit nor did Moysey have an arse-kicking party because it continued to be end to end but they were getting on top plus the fact that they had a bench worth about £100m to come on any minute, including our worst night mare Dumbo.

Whereas we had to endure 'You fat bastard' as Ginola warmed up, sorry limbered loosely on the bye-line, we had a second look and also chanted 'You fat bastard'. We were due to wear our new shirts today but we were scared how much Ginola would stretch his so we delayed it until after the Moyes clearout (Gerrard, Stubbs, ALEXANDERSSON, Campbell, Blomqvist, Gemmill, and Moore - should get at least £1.5m!).

Whilst Bergkamp went close at our end, Carsley again was threatening at the other. After a great ball from Toby, Super knocked it down into Harry Hill's path and his shot was tipped round for a corner.

On 64 mins, Vieira & Dumbo came on for Wiltord & Parlour, it was to be 'his' 10th appearance - don't get excited, that's in all competitions so he does not get a Championship medal - arghhhhh!

We had two more chances to go in front, yet another Carsley effort was saved and The Rad really should have scored when one on one with their keeper and you know what happens when you should score down one end? Yes they go down the other and go one better. Edu's pass went over Stubbsy and Henry was left with a tap in. Oh shit, not going according to our party plan.

We had some satisfaction when first Davy Weir clattered Dumbo and then Simo saved when he was thru with just Simo to beat, we even laughed and jeered when Henry unselfishly squared it to Dumbo when he could have scored his third, it went from third to turd as he missed an absolute sitter.

Ginola did come on, fuck knows why, Rik Waller would have been a better option, the sooner he's shown the door the better - he even had greasy hair! Has he lost that Loreal contract?

Well next our worst nightmare was realised, Edu found Henry who crossed to the far post, Stubbs slipped (it must have been pissing down in the 6 yard box the way he went) and Dumbo was at the far post to knock it in. He whipped his shirt off and did a quick Charles Hawtry impersonation, this really was rubbing salt in.

They subbed Wright so Taylor could pick up his medal for playing 10 Premiership games, he also picked the ball out the net as Stevie Watson made it 4-3 with a shot from the edge of the area with his left peg.

So we didn't spoil the party, the MotM jinx did not strike, they scored in every game this season and set a Premiership record with their 13th straight win, we wouldn't dream of upsetting anyone! I bet Moysey has a few things on his mind. The support was great again like it has been all season, Alexandersson who was subbed for Ginola was shite again as he has been all season. There were good performances from Toby, Unsey, Pembo, and The Rad, Harry Hill had a stormer but the Blue Kipper Star Man has to be Alan Stubbs - because it has been all season, he is an Evertonian after all!!

Quotes

Moysey says: "It was pleasing to come here and play so well and create so many chances but oh for the ones that we missed. We missed a bagful of chances and defended very, very poorly. It wasn't the Arsenal we know, they normally cut you up and carve you to bits, but that wasn't the case today. It was really self inflicted."

Jogger: Where's me cake?

Sausage: You came back from Amsterdam last week and it's all gone.

Reviled metro capitalist corporate logo running-dogs PLC 4, People's Club 3. Viva Ché!
By
Mickey Blue Eyes.

First day after the Blackburn game brought welcome news from the Suit Dein of Arsenal that Brit clubs were looking at the possibility of a dedicated football channel owned and run by the clubs themselves. Regulars will know I have been urging this for a long time. Therefore, I am delighted the Suits have finally got around to using their common sense for a change. Not of course that anyone should be surprised it took so long for the penny to drop. After all, these are the same people who witter on about "professionalism" and "revenue streams" and all the rest of the shite sticking to the game in its present lamentable era. Nobody should be surprised either when low-level footy club employees parrot the same muck.

Next day ITV Digital stopped broadcasting to subscribers. The PLC Suits strike again. It looks like fans won't get their subscription money back. If THAT precedent doesn't wake our game and our fans then nothing will. It pays to follow the Theory of Logical Conclusions.

By the end of the first week Sepp Blatter was trying to bury an internal FIFA report which allegedly showed internal fraud, bribery and even a voting impostor during Blatter's election. Also, there are allegations of outright criminal behaviour which eleven members of the FIFA executive committee have forced him to face in a Swiss court. Since Blatter is the anointed successor of João Havelange perhaps we shouldn't be too surprised. David Yallop's book "How They Stole the Game" is still available for those who don't want to go around with their eyes wide shut. Best do your own research amongst the few honest investigative reporters. Try this:

http://www.countrylife.co.uk/worldsoccer/newsmarch02/blat1503.html

You could also acquaint yourself with the hoods and actions of the self-styled G14 Group here, assuming the links still work. Friends, the G14 clubs are rotten to the core, everyone of them, and should be fucked off into a permanent hell. You ignore them at your peril. You can find my opinions here:

http://www.satisfanzine.com/archivenews/archivenewsapr2002/mickeyblueg1430042002.htm

The sources for which are:

http://www.g14clubs.com/ (This contains a particularly amusing use of right-wing Suit jargon. Note too their location in Brussels and why they are there.)

http://www.observer.co.uk/sport/story/0,6903,644267,00.html

http://www.soccernet.com/europe/news/2001/0521/20010521euroelite.html

http://www.eurosoccer.com/news/00/0425/s11.html

http://members.tripod.com/~WynGrant/worldsoccer.html

http://www.im-reports.com/press_rel_04.htm

http://scotlandonsunday.co.uk/sport.cfm?id=159552002

http://asia.cnn.com/2001/WORLD/europe/05/15/italy.berlusconi/index.html

http://asia.cnn.com/2001/WORLD/europe/05/15/italy.berlusconi.02/

http://asia.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2001/italy/stories/berlusconi/

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/soccer/world/news/1999/01/26/murdoch_italy/

http://findarticles.com./cf_0/m1312/9_373/52706158/p1/article.jhtml

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/soccer/world/news/1998/09/03/premier_super/

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/soccer/world/news/1998/08/06/super_league/

http://www.time.com./time/magazine/1998/int/980914/business.a_league_of_th19a.html

"How They Stole The Game" by David Yallop (Poetic Publishing 1999).

"The Global Media" by Edward S. Herman and Robert W. McChesney (Cassell 1997).

"Murdoch" by Richard Belfield, Christopher Hird and Sharon Kelly (Warner 1991).

Wait until the G14 carpet-baggers publish their position papers. Submerge them under a tidal wave of legitimate but courteous questions and opposition at: G14 Group, Avenue de la Toison D'Or, 67 - 1060 Brussels, Belgium. Telephone: +32 2 541 14 14 or +32 2 541 14 16 (Communication Dpt.) e-mail: genevieve.berti@g14clubs.com. Gawd knows the bastards have it coming.

Note which clubs are members, particularly the English ones. Note how many times they have consulted fans across Europe and how "thoroughly" they respond to their wishes. Note how they try to intervene in European legislation to suit themselves. Above all, ask them how they formed and how they can be removed if and when the fans decide G14 are not good for the game. Don't let them off the hook or they'll have you on it instead. Do not be fooled by the empty-headed talk of millions and billions of dollars. Remember ITV Digital.

Also, remember the present Champions League set up was bullied into existence by the G14 Group themselves so they could make more money. They even arranged to be able to switch from one cup competion to the other if they were knocked out in the early stages. So any of them who whinge about its form aren't exactly being straight with you. Of course they are corrupt emperors with no clothes. Most of all they can be beaten and beaten easily if the game is properly and sensibly defended against them. There is nothing to fear except fear itself.

Then also note that ITV Digital was half-owned by Granada, who have had the north west local TV franchise for half a century, who might well end up owning the entire ITV network and who are part owners of the pinkies. And the pinkies are one of the G14 Group. I leave you to draw the obvious conclusion. It isn't the greatest intellectual challenge you will ever face.

Since this piece mainly concerns our match with Arsenal you can also check out the site hereunder to see how unimaginative and weak-willed at least some of their fans are on the subject of G14:

http://www.onlinegooner.com/feature/feature28.htm

However, some of them are made of sterner stuff, see below. Note how Kurth left UEFA:

http://www.arsenalinfo.com/news/036.html

Back on the pitch The Gooners went and did the Double in exemplary style on Wednesday night. After winning easily in the Cup Final they won well at Old Trafford to clinch the title. You can't argue with it, not when they went through an entire season without an away loss, and not when their playing standard shifted into a much higher gear when required. When they played and won at Goodison they looked anything but champions to me. Thereafter they were streets ahead of everybody, Mancs included. Nor could you fault the quality of their football under Wenger. Once they picked up impetus they were quite superb and a credit to the history of the game. Interestingly, hardly anybody had heard of Wenger before he joined Arsenal.

So when it came to Saturday I have to say I expected a massacre, Moyesy or no Moyesy, Double celebrations or no celebrations. I said so on The Bus but everyone was already snoozing after a 7.00 am start on a sunny morning.

The snooze was interrupted by Geoff on a mission. He again plonked himself next to me and insisted, That Fuckn Bitch Of A Fuckn Queen Mother's Gorraway With A Tax-Free Twenty Fuckn Mill An' I Want Somethin' Fuckn DONE About It. I asked mildly what the fuck I was supposed to do since The People obviously don't want the revolution yet. But he was ready for me.

"Rant!" he said, eyes swivelling in different directions and nostrils flaring, "Fuckn RANT!"

"Look," I said, "you're doing it much better than me and I want to eat me sandwich anyway." And I dozed off again.

But he's got a point you know. Check out the history of the Ranters in the First English Revolution……………………………

We got to the World's End pub at midday. The usual suspects were already there or were soon there. Yes, Paul and family, Garrincha, Ticket Bastard (who I haven't seen in yonks), PaulC, Dom, Ian, Squire…………it was a full turn out except for cockney toffee, who presumably had one late night too many and was staring into the abyss of a mortal hangover. Grins and smiles all round, not a pessimistic face anywhere, great and loyal company all, the kind you relish, and one of the main reasons you keep your faith in The Beautiful Game. Anything which generates this kind of feeling is worthwhile. Which is why I have absolutely no time for misery-manufacturing cunts with no sense of loyalty. Paul's son Michael forecast we would win 5-0 (again) and you wanted to say, "Fuckn RIGHT, Mikey!" except that Cathy would rightly have beaten you to a pulp for the language. You settled for ruffling his hair and grinning in agreement.

The TV screen flashed up the teams. Big Ears on their bench. Immediately everyone said he'd score of course. Some things are written.

We quaffed liberally and not too wisely, oceans of awful lager everywhere. There wasn't a trace of friction with Gooner fans, most of whom looked bemused by the Double. Maybe it had something to do too with the doorman, about three metres tall, very wide and one of those security wireless thingies coiling out of his ear like a badly designed hearing aid. Sometimes I get the feeling everybody on the entire planet is going to end up wired to everyone else. Just think, a world of eternally bleeping, not to say bleating, mobile phones, and people saying pretty useless things like, "I'm just going into the corner shop," before being run down by an unnoticed double decker bus. Friends, we are close to the end of serenity.

Highbury was a ten minutes walk away through streets of homogeneous but surprisingly run down terrace houses in ugly yellow London brick. As you would expect, Arsenal souvenirs were on sale everywhere. The streets were relatively subdued, though maybe this was because the celebrations were subject to hangover. Plainly the times mean Arsenal have outgrown Highbury and the move to a new stadium is long overdue, as it is for us. You can't help feeling nostalgic. Which may be pleasant but isn't very constructive or long-term sensible. Life moves on. Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.

Inside, Highbury was in raucous carnival mood, hangover or no hangover. It made a difference from the more usual feel of the place. Nearby Gooners fans started singing, "Wan team in Lahndan, there's only wan team in Lahndan!" Which prompted Texyla to his feet to shout, "There's two Os in London yer daft twats!" and they didn't sing it again. It was a hallelulia moment.

Teams, and almost everybody was missing on both sides, though more on theirs than ours. They had Viera and Ljunberg on the bench too. Oh well. Go down saluting Blues, I thought. Simo back in goal for us and Nic, Toby, Carsley and Pembo in midfield. Moyesy was resting our stars, hoho.

Circumstances notwithstanding (and there'll always be misery-mongers who quote circumstances. You have to wonder why these fuckers get out of bed in the morning), it was a good open game from start to finish. Sounds mad to say it but we should have won and won well, though both sides missed a hatful of chances.

Arsenal scored within five minutes when Stubbsy gave the ball away inside the box on our right and it got squared to Bergkamp and he couldn't miss into our left corner. Oh shit, massacre imminent? A bad start for Stubbsy and it got worse. He was awful all afternoon, errors and mistiming all over the place. It wasn't his fault though that the Gooners played it down our right most of the time and both Stevie and Nic were as useful as a cake at a SCUBA expedition. This meant Henry spent a lot of time out there and did pretty much as he pleased, which was a lot. Stevie watched, an interested spectator all afternoon. Nic was useless again but Pembo tackled back and covered, probably why the ball ended up on the other side of the park so often. All champions have a predatory instinct and find weaknesses easily.

Then again, this is Moyesy's team and they really do NOT roll over so easy these days. Gradually we got back into it and right at the heart of it all was Toby and Slaphead (see, told you I'd find a nickname for him) playing creditable, solid stuff. Here's one fan who thought Toby looked the all round part for the first time, good tackling and short passing. We were playing surprisingly good footy. And so long as Carsley keeps it simple he looks OK.

Seemingly inevitably we equalised after twenty minutes when one of their defenders made a Stubbsy type error wide right near the corner flag. The ball ended up with The Rad moving into the box and then squaring it to Slaphead in the middle to hit a first rate ground shot into their bottom left corner. It screamed in. Game on, you hoped.

And ten minutes later we got in front with the best goal of the game. The Rad got in a tussle with owl arse Dixon left side of the centre circle, won it and set off on a sprint you knew he'd win. The only question was would his confidence hold? No sweat. He homed in left side of the box and slotted it in rightside as cool as you like. We were full value for the lead. For me, this goal showed once again that The Rad would be much more deadly in a better team or when he has adjusted to the pace of the English top division. And he plays much better when he's paired with SuperKev.

Alas for KC, I can't see him recovering the half metre of pace lost to a bad knee injury. Too much time has elapsed now. Sadly I doubt if he can recover it. At top level this is absolutely crucial. Nevertheless he made some really good contributions in this game, good one touch layoffs and headers helped out a lot in the centre. How you yearned for him to be back at his best. Maybe the miracle will happen next season……………………

So three minutes later we let in another stupid goal through a Stubbsy howler. Same place, he lingered too long on the ball and got dispossessed again, possibly through a Bergkamp foul. He had plenty of time to get rid though and failed badly. This time it got squared to Henry and he couldn't miss either.

Apart from a Henry miss, we missed four easy ones through SuperKev (twice), The Rad and Nic. It was honestly a ludicrous half time scoreline. We could have been out of sight by then. Yes, yes, this might have meant they introduced Viera and Ljunberg, but so what? The fact is we had created the chances and genuinely played better than them. Of course the fact also is we missed them and pro footy is unforgiving when you do that. When you weighed it up, all four goals had arrived courtesy of defenders being caught in possession.

We did well too for the first twenty minutes of the second half and had two more really good chances. First a long ball through the middle got neatly chested on by SuperKev just in front of the D and Slaphead was within millimetres of getting a winning touch. Then a smart move down the right got to The Rad and he dribbled across the centre of the area and had only their 'keeper to beat………………………and hit it straight at him. By which time Wenger had had enough so he brought on Viera and Big Ears. It changed the match as you would expect, though only just enough.

Stubbsy's third howler came five minutes later when a long ball through the middle somehow cleared his head and Henry couldn't miss from close in. Then The Ears missed two easy chances before Viera got wide to the left goal line and looped one over from which he couldn't possibly miss at the far post.

Still we weren't done for. Stevie made partial amendment for one of his AWOL matches when he dribbled in from the right and hit one home from the edge of the penalty box to show The Rad what he should have done with similar chances. I had the distinct feeling that another five or ten minutes and we might even have equalised but a few minutes later the whistle went and the season was over. All that was left was to hand richly-deserved trophies to The Gooners.

So we finished fifteenth. It is right because the table is ALWAYS right. Ruminate as much as you like.

Back on The Bus there was the usual philosophical air. We had lost but we had all been there and that's what mattered, as it did for our usual tremendous following. Nobody was in the least downhearted. On a personal note I completed visiting every away match for the first time in my life. It was well worth it even in the face of such poor playing fortunes. And if we can keep The Beautiful Game out of the hands of the carpetbagging Scab G14 it will be even better.

There's always next season. Nothing is written in stone.

Nil satis nisi optimum.

Everton play the newly crowned Champions with the same squad as our last game against Blackburn, which was a shambles. This means our 2 young England Internationals, Peter Clarke & Wayne Rooney will be missing. Joe Max Moore has already joined up with the USA World Cup squad. Dunc is out suspended. Nace, & the hibbert are out injured. We welcome back Simmo, who both played in the mini derby last week & Pembo, who played in the friendly at Falkirk. Moysey has said "we won't lay down", so he needs to play a team which will carry out those words. Considering "we lay down" for Blackburn, he may shuffle the pack around.