Everton 0 v 3 Charlton                                                                 Sat. 29th Dec 2001

Report from last season's game                                                             Att: 31,131

Everton from: Simonsen, Watson, Weir, Xavier, Naysmith, Alexandersson, Unsworth, Gemmill, Blomqvist, Moore, Radzinski,

Bench: Gerrard, Tal, Gascoigne, Ferguson, Stubbs.

Subs: Ferguson for Radzinski (10m), Gascoigne for Alexandersson (68m), Tal for Blomqvist (77m).

0 - 1 Stuart (28 Mins)
0 - 2 Euell (68 Mins)
0 - 3 Konchesky (88 Mins)

Let's not beat about the bush, this was unadulterated shite, from start to finish. Yes, on a par with the best you know the ones Bradford (FA Cup), Ipswich and Tranmere. We knew this was an important game, if you are going to stay up you have to beat the other teams who are expected to be in the relegation battle. We knew that given our recent form where we have lost 4 out of 5 that it would be a challenge. We also knew that we had not scored in 3 of the 4 defeats so it was also going to be close.

Bring on today's team who apparently did not think it was important, did not rise to the challenge and came nowhere fuckin near being close to Charlton who were up for it from the off and thoroughly deserved their win. The bulk of the side today didn't give a toss and were a disgrace to the club and to the fans, they were booed off at half & full time and even jeered in the first half when they eventually got the ball on the ground and decided to pass it.

We had one clear cut chance after 5 mins from the only move we put together in the whole game, we worked it to Jesper on the left, he found the Rad who shot straight at the keeper, he must have injured himself in the process because he went off virtually straight afterwards and Big Dunc came on. Lets change the game plan and hoof it up for the big fella! And that was it, not one more chance created and not one more effort on goal, whilst Dunc won most aerial battles he looks about as threatening in front of goal as Stevie Watson!

The inevitable happened on the half hour Abel lost out in a chase with the speedy Lisbie who mishit, Simo half saved and it fell into the path of Diamond who tucked it away with Simo scrambling back, Stuart must be wondering how we can be in such a sorry state?

Oh, there was one more effort, a Rhino free-kick. Now I've said this before, what is the point of taking a free-kick if it is not on target? You may as well just roll it over the line for a goal kick, why bother bringing half the defence up front for no reason if you are going to blaze it over? Maybe it's so the knobheads who clap can boost the ego of the taker? Now if you are golden balls who usually gets half a dozen kicks in a match and you need a sighter then fair enough but we only get one, two at most - Walter get them practicing on Monday, it's one of the few chances we have!

HALF- TIME 0 - 1

So, what was it to be, a half-time bollocking and a different approach in the next 45, some enterprising stuff, neat passing, running off the ball, chances galore and a comeback against a very mediocre side? Fuck that, more of the same was dished up, total drivel, big punts up to Duncan, losing possession regularly, no fight for the ball and continuously on the back foot.

All we could muster was two weak shot from Joe-Max which were saved comfortably. Yes, just two in 45+ mins!

We lost possession yet again and they went on to score number two, they broke quickly and had three onto one but Euell didn't need them he ran straight into the boxed and smashed it high into the top left corner, again Simo had no chance.

Walter responded by bringing Gazza on for the last 20 mins, at least he tried to create something but to no avail, he replaced the Swede who has been garbage all season, I was told he was the new Tricky Trevor!! The man is not fit to clean his boots, he is conning this club and the fans and is a fraud if he picks up his wage packet, sorry if he accepts it from the Securicor van.

The humiliation was complete two mins from time, after 23 chances to clear the ball some young whippersnapper making his debut scored the third and the embarrassment was complete.

We are now in free fall and in the shit amongst the relegation strugglers, at the beginning of the month we beat Southampton and were looking towards a European place! Get your finger out Walter & get your baseball bat out Archie, this is totally unacceptable. The crowd is starting to go, there was only 31 thou there today and it's close getting to the point where it is either us or you Walter, you had better make your mind up. AND QUICK!!

Star Man: Jesper - he's not got the hang of being shite yet!

Quotes

Walter says: "That was our poorest home performance of the season. We were poor overall - our defending, our passing, our sharpness. I was disappointed because in the past we’ve shown a good reaction when going a goal down, but we didn’t today.”

On The Radzinski injury Walter says: “That was a blow because he had looked lively and with Duncan still not fully match fit it meant that we had to put him on for far longer than we would have expected to do. But in saying that, you have to cover for those things and it was only after conceding the first goal that we started to deteriorate and from then on you have to say that Charlton deserved the win. We have a small squad and so far we haven’t been too badly affected by injury but we may feel it now,” he claimed. “We’ll just have to wait now and see who’s going to be fit.”

Jogger says: 'Please ref not 3 minutes injury time, I can't stand any more of this'

You can tell it is Winter, and freezing. Evening time fishermen have appeared along the banks of the Royal Blue Mersey and stay until 2.00 a.m. Hooded insulated clothing covers them like weekend hikers to Everest. Fishing gear looks like it is designed to trap a whale with radar impulses and then riddle it with heavy machine gun rounds. The huntin', shootin' and fishin' (hsf) gang of loonies are hard to understand at the best of times but this lot never seem to CATCH anything. Be interesting to have it analysed if they did. By Saturday evening fish heads seemed to be an appropriate subject. It has been a looong holiday and a trip to Middlesborough looms.

Friday, Suit Ridsdale of Leeds announced Michael Duberry, he of "grass" fame in the Woodgate-Bowyer assault case, had signed a five year deal before Christmas. Now, why, just why, didn't the Suited spiv announce that at the same time as he announced the increased contract offer for Bowyer? Well, even the deadbrains amongst the Leeds fans might just put two and two together and find a dichotomy, that's why. But some of us can think for ourselves. Drop dead, Ridsdale, and take your rotten-to-the-core PR spin with you into the mortuary together with the journos who let you off the hook. Next time someone even mentions Leeds as a worthwhile club then they will be firmly grasped by the ear and shown the written history of the Woodgate-Bowyer shame.

Saturday dawned as a glorious Winter's day. And, er, that was it. There really is very little to say about the game because it was utterly awful. Our "display" reminded me irresistibly of Coventry's at Highfield Road last season when we won 3-1 and City were relegated.

The 3-0 scoreline to Charlton was an absolute reflection of how the game went. They were full measure for the win. What made it worse was that they needed to be no more than competent and a bit lively to achieve it, much the way we have been in spasms this season.

Justifiable pride at a battling performance against the Mancs was replaced by its polar opposite. How and why the team could show such commitment in one game and then produce our biggest turkey since the Cup match against Tranmere is, well, a matter for what goes on inside the players' heads. Banging on about Smiffy's alleged inability to motivate or the amount of money available doesn't disguise the fact that the players have shown they CAN play this season.

There can be no excuse by anybody for what happened. Injuries don't explain the players' lack of effort or dearth of straightforward individual pride. Smiffy doesn't actually play out on the pitch or raise money for players. Last time I checked, the owners weren't playing either. Nor were any of the fans, though we might have had more effort if they had been. Fact is, we are stuck in a cleft stick with virtually no room to move. Sports success is not formulaic; if it were, nobody would be in trouble.

The fans' patience snapped at the end and at half time when they roundly booed the mess they had just paid to witness. Not my method, but totally understandable because they have few other ways of expressing themselves. Booing won't exactly encourage the team to play better. Witless moaning and wittering won't work either, though you'll find it on the increase from the Melledrew Tendency divvies who want to take advantage of the situation for their own weird and sour reasons. 'Twas ever thus when a club falls from grace. You see much the same thing when a dog bites at its own wounds. Humans are only mammals after all.

Injuries once again approach similar ominous proportions to last season. In this game, The Rad got a groin strain which may keep him out for a couple of matches. Oh well. Pity his early effort was kept out by an instinctive first class save from their 'keeper. The only other reasonable effort we had was a second half turn and shot from acute left into the Street End, literally, by Joe Max.

It really is useless trying to offer a match criticism because the display was so awful. There was absolutely nothing in it except bad play from our team. Suffice it to say we haven't scored in three games and we've let in six. We have now lost four in a row. Says it all.

So where does this leave us? Where you would expect: Lower. And MUCH lower if we lose at Middlesborough and Stoke. The prospects are not good. The only straw to cling to is the split one, that it has happened now and not later when it might be relegation-fatal. Might still be of course. If so, we only have ourselves to blame.

We can't really complain. We have played fast and loose with Lady Luck for five straight seasons now, jumping on and off a trapdoor with weakening hinges. You can do it once too often. In the end everyone gets weary of the same threat and forces it to destruction in an almost suicidal move to cahllenge the boredom. You find an expression of this in the line that maybe relegation would be good for us. Which of course is a load of old bollocks.

Tediously, this result was another seasonal wake up call. Me, I have never liked or needed an alarm clock, nor have I ever needed to take anything to get me off to sleep. Can't stand mere moaners either, or weirdos with a peculiar sense of perspective or selfishness.

There are many, many things much more important than footy. But if you are going to do anything you might as well do your best, especially if you earn your living at it. The players might be moved to put two and two together here and try to make four. The fans already pay far too much to watch the game. Quite rightly they won't be inclined to continue to do so if they see, human inconsistency allowed, that the object of their affection and interest doesn't reciprocate. That applies to everyone concerned, not just the players. It isn't asking too much to ask them to perform to a reasonable level for maybe three hours per week, not on their privileged earnings.

Next up, Boro away. Not the easy mark they were earlier in the season. Another long trip, more lousy north east policing.

On the other side of the world truly terrible, avoidable things are happening and threaten to worsen. Footy? That's the very least of it. Still, it's a new year and things will get better won't they? Well, won't they?

Team News

Danny Dadamarteri returns to the squad, after his weeks holiday in Barnsley. Desperate times mean desperate measures.
Walter says: "We may need to look at bringing Danny in. We will see how he does this week and who else we have available."

After his promising start, Jesper Blomqvist may be ruled out of the game, because of burn-out. I thought that only happened to young lads, not old crocks.
Walter says: "The second game is always harder. I wasn't surprised at how well Jesper did, because we already know what a good player he is and in training during the last 10 days or so he has looked ready to play. He has also been exceptionally keen to get back, but having just played his first match in two years it may be asking a lot for him to start another just three days later. We will monitor him closely this week, but what did surprise me about his performance was how long he lasted. That was testimony to his stamina."

Duncan Ferguson, who is 30 today.(Lets hope he leaves his 'do' until after saturday's game.) will still be on the bench, along with Alan Stubbs.

Thomas Gravesen will be given time to recover from his ankle injury, but Pembo (thigh), Pisto (ankle ligaments), & Super Kev (bad back, trapped nerve, slipped disc, you choose!) will be missing.
Walter says: "It is too early to say who we will have available for the game on Saturday.We will wait as late as possible before finalising our squad but hopefully we may be able to welcome back some of our injured players."

Everton from: Simonsen, Watson, Weir, Xavier, Naysmith, Alexandersson, Unsworth, Gemmill, Blomqvist, Gravesen, Radzinski, Gerrard, Tal, Gascoigne, Ferguson, Moore, Cadamarteri, Stubbs, Chadwick.