Now….where
was I?…….
By
Mickey Blue Eyes
Oh yes…………The Duke
had just scored a wonderful goal against Arsenal. After which the world
went mad and we won three in a row, including another Duke Goal at the
Sheepshaggers and a Worthless Cup win at Dartmoor In The North. A win
against Charlton would make it four in a row. Oh well. Much more of
this and we'll all need medical treatment. Or at least regular inhalation
of pure oxygen. It's all very nice and long overdue. And nobody deserves
it more than the fans who have stood by our club in amazing numbers
for the last five dark years or so as lightning forked all round us.
Said fans walk around
with a slightly glazed look these days. Gawd knows what they'll look
like if the current run keeps up. I'll be happy as long as they steer
clear of gradually returning loonballs amongst other fans. As we all
know, these things come and go in cycles, and right now fans' behaviour
is on a relative downward curve. The signs are not good and the media
are next to useless in helping us arrive at a sensible solution.
Be that as it may,
it wouldn't do to get too carried away by Moyesy's revolution. He has
indeed wrought minor miracles and his obvious honesty has rightly captivated
anyone who comes into contact therewith. He looked on amazed at the
directorial shambles of the Annual General Meeting. His straightforward
speech was the only thing which prevented it turning into an outright
farce punctuated by stand-up bewilderment-as-comedy routines from the
floor. But an increase in players' fitness and the addition of a few
new players has a limited shelf life. I hope I'm wrong when I say I
can't see it lasting at the present rate much beyond Christmas. Whatever,
his management has refreshed everyone for the time being and that can
only be good news. Relish it while it's there. As time goes on it will
be natural for the New Manager Syndrome to wear off.
More to the point,
he has an even more straightforward way of dealing with the players.
Much to my joy he's fucked mind games right off into the pages of our
shite local and national newspapers and left it to the arsehole TV pundits
too. You fit and in form? Okay, you play. Lose your concentration too
often and likely you'll get dropped. All of this with a squad with too
many players over thirty and/or past their best. Meantime, he gradually
drafts in younger players and buys a couple of real bargains. That's
a razor blade he's walking there. Don't forget it, friends. Make allowances
when the inevitable slips appear.
Not that this appeared
to bother Keith too much when he showed up pre-match V Charlton in the
Pacific. The words "championship" appeared in his first sentence.
I wanted to throttle him. Fortunately, this is the only piece of outright
lunacy I have encountered in our fans since the current resurgence.
Most of us are just happy to feel good about it.
Me, I expected some
kind of reaction to the midweek extra-time penalties win over The Skunks.
Time was when it wouldn't have mattered. But now things are so much
more "professional" (the most misused word in the preposterous
media footy lexicon) it seems the bouts of "tiredness" and
injuries are so much more "professional" too. You can rationalise
anything if you try hard enough.
Which is one reason
The Duke's arrival has created so much interest. All he wants to do
is play and score the way you used to in the school yard. None of this
total shite about "professionalism" for him: just gerritt
at me feet and I'll run at them and score if I can. The boy WANTS it
and wants it ravenously. The "professionalism" will of course
arrive with "maturity." That is, getting older. I hope it
doesn't rationalise away his freshness and enthusiasm. All great players
retain this. Needless to say most elements of the media can't wait for
him to show signs of vulnerability. Then they'll have their media event
to make a crummy vicarious living out of. Small wonder they are so despised.
Give me The Duke
and his enthusiasm any day. Even if he failed tomorrow nobody who was
there is ever going to forget that goal against Arsenal. Which is what
the game's all about. Ask all those kids with "Rooney 18"
or "Roonaldo" footy shirts or any one of the wildly imaginative
tee-shirts on sale. The dream lives for them in Rooney, and he's one
of us. Fingers crossed, he'll be alright.
I anticipated the
Charlton match would be a tricky encounter. I admire Alan Curbishley's
terrific achievement in rescuing them from oblivion but they've never
been easy to watch even when they've done well. They remind me too often
of one of those people you sometimes meet in the pub, the ones who are
mildly interesting until they breathe alcohol induced halitosis all
over you. Few things are more likely to guarantee my exit. Last season
of course the drunk deservedly walked all over us at GP. Not a happy
experience, that and the halitosis.
So…………………a slightly
above average gate and a tiny pocket of Charlton fans came on the back
of our good run. It was an overcast but not chilly day at the start.
There was a genuine air of expectancy during the walk up to the ground.
For a change it overwhelmed the false eye-glitter of lager. Nice too
that it supplemented the usual enthusiasm for footy. When it's like
this there's no better game in the world.
The Gravedigger
was back, Stubbsy kept his place and Unsy returned in place of Own Goal
Sandro. Pembo was back at wide left mid too. The Duke was benched.
The game went pretty
much according to expectation. Mostly it was us doing the biz, then
Charlton got hold of the last half hour and should have equalised.
They got back into
the game through the efforts of a marvellous young midfield player,
Scott Parker. Diminutive, sharp and willing, he played like an old time
inside forward and appeared brilliantly all over the place. On one occasion
he went on a 50 metres solo run against a steadily retreating defence
and almost got through. If this was a true sample of Parker's ability
then he's destined to be a great player. They didn't have much apart
from him, though Jansen made an occasional nuisance of himself.
Our best man by
some distance was Joey Yobo. Yet again he showed what we've missed for
years in central defence, an able partner for Davey Weir. But he's so
good he even had Stubbsy playing really well until Davey subbed for
him late on. The ground was abuzz with his efforts every time he went
near the ball. He can do the lot: head powerfully away, control it,
pass it well and tackle nigh perfectly at crucial moments. He's an absolute
joy to watch, especially when he does things like a backward-over-the-head
lob to Tony or has a sudden surge of pace when all looks lost.
Midfield was iffy
this time round. The Twin Slapheads were staccato for most of the game
and Li Tie's tackling still needs more meat to it. If and when he gets
that, he'll be a really good all round player. Pembo's lack of pace
once again showed up but he tries to make up for it with work rate and
outstanding free kicks and corners.
Nevertheless, we
played reasonably tightly and every now and then made some smart moves
without threatening goal much. These days we look and play so much more
like a team.
When the goal came
it was a direct contradiction of the last two paragraphs. The Gravedigger
dispossessed one of theirs centre left, maybe forty metres out. Then
he stuck a good ground pass right through a strangely untenanted centre
and The Rad ran on to it and got it home from about the penalty spot.
For a second I thought it was pulling wide but it arrowed into the keeper's
bottom right corner. Altogether a smart opportunist goal, though doubtless
Curbishley broke a few cups over the dispossessed one's head in the
dressing room.
Immediately afterwards
the Gravedigger smacked one narrowly past the goal. By this time we
were in control without looking anything special. The difference now
though is that we've started to do the simple things properly.
In the second half
we had a couple of good chances before Charlton imposed themselves on
the game. One of them was one of The Rad's notorious misses. As usual,
he did all the hard bits first. That is, killed the ball mid penalty
area goal line left side, accelerated away from one defender like a
jaguar, skinned a second, closed into the middle and faced a gaping
goal. Naturally he smacked it over from seven metres. It was maddening.
Peter said, "If he could put those away he'd be the best striker
in Europe." And you know what, so he would. One day he's going
to get them all on target and score a hatful. And nobody will have earned
it more. His work rate has grown enormously this season.
Wrighty gets more
confident with each game too. He only flapped at one cross all match
and caught everything else even under a lot of pressure.
For the last half
hour the arse fell completely out of our game, a timely warning to all
of us not to take anything for granted. Charlton were all over us and
were unlucky not to get it level. We had a couple of last ditch tackles
from Joey and some goal line clearances to thank. Had we let an equaliser
in we might well have let in another goal. But this is Moyesy's team,
much less likely to surrender to seemingly inevitable fate. We kept
them out.
Then Rooney came
on and didn't see much of the ball. Maybe his impatience led to an avoidable
flashpoint. A Charlton defender got away with a half-hearted foul on
him, a routine sort of thing, nothing vicious. The ball went out, the
same lad took the throw-in, got the return ball and pushed it away…………just
as The Duke came rushing in with a deliberately aimed boot. Fortunately
it made only the slightest of contacts. Had the recipient been caught
squarely there's no question it would have injured him badly and a red
card deservedly flourished. The referee took a benign view and waved
a yellow. Which has me concerned about the derby game. Local lad……………Jeffers
and the pinky Gerrard sent off in other derbies……………lots of flashpoints……………Wayne
Rooney up for it and no mistake. Which means he can't afford to be impetuous
or allow himself to get goaded. He has to keep a cool head in his kecks.
By the time the
final whistle came we were only just hanging on. Then we did some quick
calculations after the scores came in and everyone jeered the pinkies'
loss at The Smoggies. Christ, we're fourth! Christmas is early, then.
Looking at the fixture list a month ago, who'd have thought it? So a
sense of perspective is in order.
What we don't want
is the kind of shite reported in one of the tabloid rags during the
week. According to the rag, the popeyed Gaul in the House of Comedy
said something like, "Apart from the team, the only thing which
matters is god and family." Firstly, I don't believe he said it,
not with his own mortality so recently in question. Secondly, if he
DID say it, given contemporary local history, he ought to be suitably
ashamed. Thirdly, as usual, we haven't got "god's" personal
opinion at yet another crucial moment, just like all the other crucial
moments you've ever known. It goes without saying that I can think of
hundreds of things much more important than footy. It's a recreation,
a sport, a pastime, a hobby. But it's not the fiftieth thing in my life,
never mind the third.
I admire what Moyesy
and the players have done hugely, in the way I admire anything well
done by our species. I fervently want it to continue and get better.
And for some unknowable reason I share elements of the tribalism which
permeates every one of us, lower middle class self-styled "objectivists"
(no, not the Ayn Rand ranting-righty variety) included. And of course
I am as elated as the next Blue Belly over the current situation. There's
absolutely no question it makes you feel as good as Moyesy says it does
when you win. We all know that. The point is how you deal with winning.
If you want a lesson in how not do it, look across the park or at the
Ozzies, where too many need a good malleting to get them to rejoin the
human race. Win - smile and enjoy. Lose - get mad, use it as a catalyst,
get even with fate, shrug and move on. C'est la vie.
Enjoy the smiles,
friends. You've earned them. We all have, thanks to Moyesy and co.
Quotes
Moyesy
says: "We got one goal and maybe should have two or three
but we didn't so it was important for the defenders and although they
were a little bit anxious at times, I thought overall they did well.
I thought the goal was a superb effort. Tommy Gravesen did well to
win the ball, played a superb pass and Tomasz took it early and scored.
At least we are in the right end of the table. It's certainly better
being near the top than near the bottom, but we will just continue
working away because we have not won anything yet. It's not as if
we've pictures in the corridors here at Goodison Park. There's nothing
to get over-excited about. We are rebuilding and moving in the right
direction and we just need to keep it even and not get too carried
away."
Kipper
says: " When Joey flicked the ball over his head. It reminded
me of me."
Lard
says: " In yer dreams"
The
Rad says: “It was a brilliant ball from Tommy Gravesen. He won
the ball well in the middle of the park and passed it brilliantly
to me. I looked up, hit the ball and my placement was perfect - the
crowd went wild and from there we didn’t look back. We should have
scored more. I should have got at least one more."
I
don't want to go to Chelsea
With thanks to Elvis Costello
By Redundant Geoff
It
is just one long procession of matches these days. The victim of our
own success? Heck, it's only an extra two games so far with the third
a few weeks off. It's alright suggesting that players should play
fewer games, no thought has gone to the fans. Much as we love going
to the game, every game, it isn't much fun falling through the front
door of your house at 3.00am with the promise of another late one
on the 4th December at the debt ridden Village Idiots.
The
day starts with a trip into town courtesy of the lovely Virgin Trains.
Should get into town at 11.50am to meet Mogsy in Wetherspoons. Alas
Virgin needs a good seeing to. Late already. A swift couple later
we make our way up to the ground via the Pacific again. The Kipper
lads just can't find a digital camera that works. The game on telly
is already 20 minutes old when we arrive and it's 1-1. Who really
cares, it's not Everton but we can take advantage of a Man Yoo defeat,
It's also great watching the once mighty fall to, what some might
say, the proper Mancs.
Mr
and Mrs Texyla came in and announced that King of the Kids crossed
his picket line earlier in the week. Disgrace really but I will report
his response if it merits - I'm sure he has his reasons. By now though
I am a little bit too well watered and decide to have a go at several
people for not being in a Union. Turns out that there are more non
union members than I first thought so off I scurry to order some more
Chemical Ale.
Mogsy
said that he had a funny feeling about the match - he always does.
It was suggested that he must have had a dodgy scoop but we are all
on the same. Mogsy also had dodgy feelings about the 'ammers and Dirty
so what does he know. Confidence is high amongst the rest. We all
know now that we are going to score at least one and make it difficult
for them especially with England's Number One in goal. I said that
we were only four points behind the Pinkies. My maths isn't that bad
- my reasoning was that we have to play them twice and it should be
six easy points. Well, after the game we were only one point behind
them.
I
hadn't eaten much so I decided to use one of the many salmonella joints
on the way to the ground. I hadn't forgotten the match when I suffered
from food poisoning after a dodgy pasty when I swore I would never
eat fast food again but I had a rage for a luke warm hot dog. Three
bites was all it took to decide to throw it away. Time to get in the
ground.
I
thought we battered them in the first half with the Rad and Super
looking good together. Good through ball from Gravedigger after robbing
it off Mustoe, to the Rad and he slots it past their 'keeper. The
Rad deserves it after working so hard over the last couple of games.
The ref, "Eric" Sykes, was an absolute disgrace. We should
have had at least three penalties for handball. England's Number One
had nothing of note to do with Stubbsy and Yobo doing nothing wrong
in front of him, Hibbert and Carsley look great again but Hibbert
nearly gave Unathletic a penalty. At least "Eric" was consistently
awful.
Our
inability to finish them off in the second half made sure that the
end of the game was more tense than it should have been. They had
most of the ball but couldn't do anything of note. Inevitably we saw
8 for 18 again. This time I think that the Rad should have stayed
on but there you go. The Duke nearly got his marching orders after
a retaliatory challenge. The Duke was upended right in front of "Eric"
who did nothing about it. With the petulance of any teenager with
hormones rushing through their body, the Duke tried to amputate the
Charlton player's legs. Thankfully his fouling isn't as good as his
cracking shooting and he missed the player. A yellow for his efforts
but if he had connected, then what. I make it four yellows this season
and one more means a suspension - would that be a record too?
A
win for us, a clean sheet for England's Number One - jeez, three in
a row in the league. Then the Pinkies lose. I actually don't care
two hoots for them, just about our performances on the pitch. It's
hard though not to look above and behind when you are playing so well
and we have a reasonable chance of making a good fist of the championship.
Feet do certainly need to be planted firmly in the ground but fourth
in the league and above the Mancs - it just could be.
After
the match, off to Wetherspoons to test the water. Mogsy's gone off
with Jock Tom on a hot date with Tom's granddaughter. He missed meeting
the lovely Claire and Natalie in the pub but apparently he saw them
a couple of weeks ago in the Central at the 'ammers. I will have to
give him a slap for that missed opportunity. Phil was hanging around
after a chance - and who can blame him - I wish him the best of luck.
Mr
and Mrs Texyla played taxi for me so I could get back to the Chemical
Riviera and enjoy a few scoops with the rest of the lads. By the time
I met them they were already halfway down the road to oblivion. Halton
Village Tim was already singing his heart out accusing anyone who
wasn't singing along of being a Pinky. By the time we were on the
Premiership, most were about ready to drop. It was a good job we were
only on for our normal 30 seconds as I don't think we could have concentrated
any longer. Tim shouted at the TV a bit but it was only in vain, they
weren't going to repeat it. He had done the same as in the Match,
gone for a leak and missed the goal. We did have another chance to
see THAT goal when it won the goal of the month. Hardly surprising
really. You get to see ten goals and pick one. Why bother for that
month. As soon as it left his boot it was the winner.
Morning
comes and, without the aid of alcohol, reflect on our performance.
Not good, but we won. I still can't believe we are fourth. Blackburn
next at Eeebygumwood Park. That may be a different matter but we owe
them one for last year. In fact we owe them several and lets hope
we give it to them.
See
you all in the Fernhurst on Sunday.
Team
News
On
the injury front, Toby (hamstring tear) joins Dunc and Juli on the Bellefield
table. Pisto, Nace, Stubbsey and Stevie Wat are all fit again after
their run out at Newcastle. The only decion David Moyes has to make
is who he will keep in or will he bring back Yobo, Pembo, Hibbo, Rado
, & Gravo. I think he will. That means only a place on the bench
for the Dook.
Whoever
plays will need to give it their all against a Charlton side at the
wrong end of the table. On paper after beating Arsenal, West Ham &
Newcastle it seems that Charlton will be a piece of piss. This is the
attitude the players need to leave in the dressing room, & I'm sure
Moysey will have the boys ready. (08/11/02)
Lard's
eleven to start: Wright, Hibbert, Weir, Yobo, Unsworth, Carsley,
Li Tie, Gravesen, Pembridge, Radzinski, Campbell.
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