Home

Top Form

BARCLAYCARD FA Premiership League / Sat. 9th November 2002  / Kick Off: 3.00pm 
EVERTON
1
v
0

 Charlton

Goalscorer: Radzinski / Atten: 37,621


Everton: Wright, Hibbert, Stubbs, Yobo, Unsworth, Carsley, Li Tie, Gravesen, Pembridge, Radzinski, Campbell.

Subs: Gerrard, Watson, Rooney (for Radzinski 72m), Naysmith (for Li Tie 72m), Weir (for Stubbs 69m).

The fact that this report has taken over 2 weeks to be written is definitely a sign of the times. The win over Charlton coincided with Mrs Lard playing football in Seville, so with no real reason to go home and enough money in my pocket to stay out Saturday became Sunday which rolled into Monday which
meant the match report was fast moving further down the priority list. Two weeks later, my body has waved the white flag so after a lot of sleep and gallons of water I'm finally in a fit state to type up the report.
Unfortunately my recollection of the Charlton game is now not what is should be, but here goes. Another one-nil win. Another clean sheet. Pretty comfortable throughout but we need to finish teams off, especially as teams will now be coming to Goodison trying to pinch a point. Happy that Stubbsey
kept his place and justified it through a solid performance. The Rad finished his goal well but could of had three and Joey Yobo was outstanding.

Star man for this game and surely the top priority for the club is to secure his signing.(24/11/02)

Lard
Reports from
Goodison Park

Blue Kipper Star Man

Now….where was I?…….
By
Mickey Blue Eyes

Oh yes…………The Duke had just scored a wonderful goal against Arsenal. After which the world went mad and we won three in a row, including another Duke Goal at the Sheepshaggers and a Worthless Cup win at Dartmoor In The North. A win against Charlton would make it four in a row. Oh well. Much more of this and we'll all need medical treatment. Or at least regular inhalation of pure oxygen. It's all very nice and long overdue. And nobody deserves it more than the fans who have stood by our club in amazing numbers for the last five dark years or so as lightning forked all round us.

Said fans walk around with a slightly glazed look these days. Gawd knows what they'll look like if the current run keeps up. I'll be happy as long as they steer clear of gradually returning loonballs amongst other fans. As we all know, these things come and go in cycles, and right now fans' behaviour is on a relative downward curve. The signs are not good and the media are next to useless in helping us arrive at a sensible solution.

Be that as it may, it wouldn't do to get too carried away by Moyesy's revolution. He has indeed wrought minor miracles and his obvious honesty has rightly captivated anyone who comes into contact therewith. He looked on amazed at the directorial shambles of the Annual General Meeting. His straightforward speech was the only thing which prevented it turning into an outright farce punctuated by stand-up bewilderment-as-comedy routines from the floor. But an increase in players' fitness and the addition of a few new players has a limited shelf life. I hope I'm wrong when I say I can't see it lasting at the present rate much beyond Christmas. Whatever, his management has refreshed everyone for the time being and that can only be good news. Relish it while it's there. As time goes on it will be natural for the New Manager Syndrome to wear off.

More to the point, he has an even more straightforward way of dealing with the players. Much to my joy he's fucked mind games right off into the pages of our shite local and national newspapers and left it to the arsehole TV pundits too. You fit and in form? Okay, you play. Lose your concentration too often and likely you'll get dropped. All of this with a squad with too many players over thirty and/or past their best. Meantime, he gradually drafts in younger players and buys a couple of real bargains. That's a razor blade he's walking there. Don't forget it, friends. Make allowances when the inevitable slips appear.

Not that this appeared to bother Keith too much when he showed up pre-match V Charlton in the Pacific. The words "championship" appeared in his first sentence. I wanted to throttle him. Fortunately, this is the only piece of outright lunacy I have encountered in our fans since the current resurgence. Most of us are just happy to feel good about it.

Me, I expected some kind of reaction to the midweek extra-time penalties win over The Skunks. Time was when it wouldn't have mattered. But now things are so much more "professional" (the most misused word in the preposterous media footy lexicon) it seems the bouts of "tiredness" and injuries are so much more "professional" too. You can rationalise anything if you try hard enough.

Which is one reason The Duke's arrival has created so much interest. All he wants to do is play and score the way you used to in the school yard. None of this total shite about "professionalism" for him: just gerritt at me feet and I'll run at them and score if I can. The boy WANTS it and wants it ravenously. The "professionalism" will of course arrive with "maturity." That is, getting older. I hope it doesn't rationalise away his freshness and enthusiasm. All great players retain this. Needless to say most elements of the media can't wait for him to show signs of vulnerability. Then they'll have their media event to make a crummy vicarious living out of. Small wonder they are so despised.

Give me The Duke and his enthusiasm any day. Even if he failed tomorrow nobody who was there is ever going to forget that goal against Arsenal. Which is what the game's all about. Ask all those kids with "Rooney 18" or "Roonaldo" footy shirts or any one of the wildly imaginative tee-shirts on sale. The dream lives for them in Rooney, and he's one of us. Fingers crossed, he'll be alright.

I anticipated the Charlton match would be a tricky encounter. I admire Alan Curbishley's terrific achievement in rescuing them from oblivion but they've never been easy to watch even when they've done well. They remind me too often of one of those people you sometimes meet in the pub, the ones who are mildly interesting until they breathe alcohol induced halitosis all over you. Few things are more likely to guarantee my exit. Last season of course the drunk deservedly walked all over us at GP. Not a happy experience, that and the halitosis.

So…………………a slightly above average gate and a tiny pocket of Charlton fans came on the back of our good run. It was an overcast but not chilly day at the start. There was a genuine air of expectancy during the walk up to the ground. For a change it overwhelmed the false eye-glitter of lager. Nice too that it supplemented the usual enthusiasm for footy. When it's like this there's no better game in the world.

The Gravedigger was back, Stubbsy kept his place and Unsy returned in place of Own Goal Sandro. Pembo was back at wide left mid too. The Duke was benched.

The game went pretty much according to expectation. Mostly it was us doing the biz, then Charlton got hold of the last half hour and should have equalised.

They got back into the game through the efforts of a marvellous young midfield player, Scott Parker. Diminutive, sharp and willing, he played like an old time inside forward and appeared brilliantly all over the place. On one occasion he went on a 50 metres solo run against a steadily retreating defence and almost got through. If this was a true sample of Parker's ability then he's destined to be a great player. They didn't have much apart from him, though Jansen made an occasional nuisance of himself.

Our best man by some distance was Joey Yobo. Yet again he showed what we've missed for years in central defence, an able partner for Davey Weir. But he's so good he even had Stubbsy playing really well until Davey subbed for him late on. The ground was abuzz with his efforts every time he went near the ball. He can do the lot: head powerfully away, control it, pass it well and tackle nigh perfectly at crucial moments. He's an absolute joy to watch, especially when he does things like a backward-over-the-head lob to Tony or has a sudden surge of pace when all looks lost.

Midfield was iffy this time round. The Twin Slapheads were staccato for most of the game and Li Tie's tackling still needs more meat to it. If and when he gets that, he'll be a really good all round player. Pembo's lack of pace once again showed up but he tries to make up for it with work rate and outstanding free kicks and corners.

Nevertheless, we played reasonably tightly and every now and then made some smart moves without threatening goal much. These days we look and play so much more like a team.

When the goal came it was a direct contradiction of the last two paragraphs. The Gravedigger dispossessed one of theirs centre left, maybe forty metres out. Then he stuck a good ground pass right through a strangely untenanted centre and The Rad ran on to it and got it home from about the penalty spot. For a second I thought it was pulling wide but it arrowed into the keeper's bottom right corner. Altogether a smart opportunist goal, though doubtless Curbishley broke a few cups over the dispossessed one's head in the dressing room.

Immediately afterwards the Gravedigger smacked one narrowly past the goal. By this time we were in control without looking anything special. The difference now though is that we've started to do the simple things properly.

In the second half we had a couple of good chances before Charlton imposed themselves on the game. One of them was one of The Rad's notorious misses. As usual, he did all the hard bits first. That is, killed the ball mid penalty area goal line left side, accelerated away from one defender like a jaguar, skinned a second, closed into the middle and faced a gaping goal. Naturally he smacked it over from seven metres. It was maddening. Peter said, "If he could put those away he'd be the best striker in Europe." And you know what, so he would. One day he's going to get them all on target and score a hatful. And nobody will have earned it more. His work rate has grown enormously this season.

Wrighty gets more confident with each game too. He only flapped at one cross all match and caught everything else even under a lot of pressure.

For the last half hour the arse fell completely out of our game, a timely warning to all of us not to take anything for granted. Charlton were all over us and were unlucky not to get it level. We had a couple of last ditch tackles from Joey and some goal line clearances to thank. Had we let an equaliser in we might well have let in another goal. But this is Moyesy's team, much less likely to surrender to seemingly inevitable fate. We kept them out.

Then Rooney came on and didn't see much of the ball. Maybe his impatience led to an avoidable flashpoint. A Charlton defender got away with a half-hearted foul on him, a routine sort of thing, nothing vicious. The ball went out, the same lad took the throw-in, got the return ball and pushed it away…………just as The Duke came rushing in with a deliberately aimed boot. Fortunately it made only the slightest of contacts. Had the recipient been caught squarely there's no question it would have injured him badly and a red card deservedly flourished. The referee took a benign view and waved a yellow. Which has me concerned about the derby game. Local lad……………Jeffers and the pinky Gerrard sent off in other derbies……………lots of flashpoints……………Wayne Rooney up for it and no mistake. Which means he can't afford to be impetuous or allow himself to get goaded. He has to keep a cool head in his kecks.

By the time the final whistle came we were only just hanging on. Then we did some quick calculations after the scores came in and everyone jeered the pinkies' loss at The Smoggies. Christ, we're fourth! Christmas is early, then. Looking at the fixture list a month ago, who'd have thought it? So a sense of perspective is in order.

What we don't want is the kind of shite reported in one of the tabloid rags during the week. According to the rag, the popeyed Gaul in the House of Comedy said something like, "Apart from the team, the only thing which matters is god and family." Firstly, I don't believe he said it, not with his own mortality so recently in question. Secondly, if he DID say it, given contemporary local history, he ought to be suitably ashamed. Thirdly, as usual, we haven't got "god's" personal opinion at yet another crucial moment, just like all the other crucial moments you've ever known. It goes without saying that I can think of hundreds of things much more important than footy. It's a recreation, a sport, a pastime, a hobby. But it's not the fiftieth thing in my life, never mind the third.

I admire what Moyesy and the players have done hugely, in the way I admire anything well done by our species. I fervently want it to continue and get better. And for some unknowable reason I share elements of the tribalism which permeates every one of us, lower middle class self-styled "objectivists" (no, not the Ayn Rand ranting-righty variety) included. And of course I am as elated as the next Blue Belly over the current situation. There's absolutely no question it makes you feel as good as Moyesy says it does when you win. We all know that. The point is how you deal with winning. If you want a lesson in how not do it, look across the park or at the Ozzies, where too many need a good malleting to get them to rejoin the human race. Win - smile and enjoy. Lose - get mad, use it as a catalyst, get even with fate, shrug and move on. C'est la vie.

Enjoy the smiles, friends. You've earned them. We all have, thanks to Moyesy and co.


Quotes

Moyesy says: "We got one goal and maybe should have two or three but we didn't so it was important for the defenders and although they were a little bit anxious at times, I thought overall they did well. I thought the goal was a superb effort. Tommy Gravesen did well to win the ball, played a superb pass and Tomasz took it early and scored. At least we are in the right end of the table. It's certainly better being near the top than near the bottom, but we will just continue working away because we have not won anything yet. It's not as if we've pictures in the corridors here at Goodison Park. There's nothing to get over-excited about. We are rebuilding and moving in the right direction and we just need to keep it even and not get too carried away."

Kipper says: " When Joey flicked the ball over his head. It reminded me of me."

Lard says: " In yer dreams"

The Rad says: “It was a brilliant ball from Tommy Gravesen. He won the ball well in the middle of the park and passed it brilliantly to me. I looked up, hit the ball and my placement was perfect - the crowd went wild and from there we didn’t look back. We should have scored more. I should have got at least one more."


I don't want to go to Chelsea
With thanks to Elvis Costello
By Redundant Geoff

It is just one long procession of matches these days. The victim of our own success? Heck, it's only an extra two games so far with the third a few weeks off. It's alright suggesting that players should play fewer games, no thought has gone to the fans. Much as we love going to the game, every game, it isn't much fun falling through the front door of your house at 3.00am with the promise of another late one on the 4th December at the debt ridden Village Idiots.

The day starts with a trip into town courtesy of the lovely Virgin Trains. Should get into town at 11.50am to meet Mogsy in Wetherspoons. Alas Virgin needs a good seeing to. Late already. A swift couple later we make our way up to the ground via the Pacific again. The Kipper lads just can't find a digital camera that works. The game on telly is already 20 minutes old when we arrive and it's 1-1. Who really cares, it's not Everton but we can take advantage of a Man Yoo defeat, It's also great watching the once mighty fall to, what some might say, the proper Mancs.

Mr and Mrs Texyla came in and announced that King of the Kids crossed his picket line earlier in the week. Disgrace really but I will report his response if it merits - I'm sure he has his reasons. By now though I am a little bit too well watered and decide to have a go at several people for not being in a Union. Turns out that there are more non union members than I first thought so off I scurry to order some more Chemical Ale.

Mogsy said that he had a funny feeling about the match - he always does. It was suggested that he must have had a dodgy scoop but we are all on the same. Mogsy also had dodgy feelings about the 'ammers and Dirty so what does he know. Confidence is high amongst the rest. We all know now that we are going to score at least one and make it difficult for them especially with England's Number One in goal. I said that we were only four points behind the Pinkies. My maths isn't that bad - my reasoning was that we have to play them twice and it should be six easy points. Well, after the game we were only one point behind them.

I hadn't eaten much so I decided to use one of the many salmonella joints on the way to the ground. I hadn't forgotten the match when I suffered from food poisoning after a dodgy pasty when I swore I would never eat fast food again but I had a rage for a luke warm hot dog. Three bites was all it took to decide to throw it away. Time to get in the ground.

I thought we battered them in the first half with the Rad and Super looking good together. Good through ball from Gravedigger after robbing it off Mustoe, to the Rad and he slots it past their 'keeper. The Rad deserves it after working so hard over the last couple of games. The ref, "Eric" Sykes, was an absolute disgrace. We should have had at least three penalties for handball. England's Number One had nothing of note to do with Stubbsy and Yobo doing nothing wrong in front of him, Hibbert and Carsley look great again but Hibbert nearly gave Unathletic a penalty. At least "Eric" was consistently awful.

Our inability to finish them off in the second half made sure that the end of the game was more tense than it should have been. They had most of the ball but couldn't do anything of note. Inevitably we saw 8 for 18 again. This time I think that the Rad should have stayed on but there you go. The Duke nearly got his marching orders after a retaliatory challenge. The Duke was upended right in front of "Eric" who did nothing about it. With the petulance of any teenager with hormones rushing through their body, the Duke tried to amputate the Charlton player's legs. Thankfully his fouling isn't as good as his cracking shooting and he missed the player. A yellow for his efforts but if he had connected, then what. I make it four yellows this season and one more means a suspension - would that be a record too?

A win for us, a clean sheet for England's Number One - jeez, three in a row in the league. Then the Pinkies lose. I actually don't care two hoots for them, just about our performances on the pitch. It's hard though not to look above and behind when you are playing so well and we have a reasonable chance of making a good fist of the championship. Feet do certainly need to be planted firmly in the ground but fourth in the league and above the Mancs - it just could be.

After the match, off to Wetherspoons to test the water. Mogsy's gone off with Jock Tom on a hot date with Tom's granddaughter. He missed meeting the lovely Claire and Natalie in the pub but apparently he saw them a couple of weeks ago in the Central at the 'ammers. I will have to give him a slap for that missed opportunity. Phil was hanging around after a chance - and who can blame him - I wish him the best of luck.

Mr and Mrs Texyla played taxi for me so I could get back to the Chemical Riviera and enjoy a few scoops with the rest of the lads. By the time I met them they were already halfway down the road to oblivion. Halton Village Tim was already singing his heart out accusing anyone who wasn't singing along of being a Pinky. By the time we were on the Premiership, most were about ready to drop. It was a good job we were only on for our normal 30 seconds as I don't think we could have concentrated any longer. Tim shouted at the TV a bit but it was only in vain, they weren't going to repeat it. He had done the same as in the Match, gone for a leak and missed the goal. We did have another chance to see THAT goal when it won the goal of the month. Hardly surprising really. You get to see ten goals and pick one. Why bother for that month. As soon as it left his boot it was the winner.

Morning comes and, without the aid of alcohol, reflect on our performance. Not good, but we won. I still can't believe we are fourth. Blackburn next at Eeebygumwood Park. That may be a different matter but we owe them one for last year. In fact we owe them several and lets hope we give it to them.

See you all in the Fernhurst on Sunday.


Team News

On the injury front, Toby (hamstring tear) joins Dunc and Juli on the Bellefield table. Pisto, Nace, Stubbsey and Stevie Wat are all fit again after their run out at Newcastle. The only decion David Moyes has to make is who he will keep in or will he bring back Yobo, Pembo, Hibbo, Rado , & Gravo. I think he will. That means only a place on the bench for the Dook.

Whoever plays will need to give it their all against a Charlton side at the wrong end of the table. On paper after beating Arsenal, West Ham & Newcastle it seems that Charlton will be a piece of piss. This is the attitude the players need to leave in the dressing room, & I'm sure Moysey will have the boys ready. (08/11/02)


Lard's eleven to start: Wright, Hibbert, Weir, Yobo, Unsworth, Carsley, Li Tie, Gravesen, Pembridge, Radzinski, Campbell.

Jogger's Snapshots | Young Toffees | Sting Ray | Sausage's Sandwiches 
Cod Pieces
| Look-A-Likes | Tomorrow's Chip Papers   I Top Toffee Ale 'ouses
| Home
e-mail bluekipper.com