Everton: Wright, Hibbert, Yobo, Stubbs, Unsworth, Carsley, Li Tie, Gravesen, Pembridge, Radzinski, Campbell.

Bench: Simmonsen, Naysmith, Gemmill, Weir for Carsley (24m), Rooney for Radzinski (74m)

So, here we are driving up to Tyneside with chests bigger than budgies, on the road for the Magnificent Seven! Oh yes, we are pinching ourselves occasaionally and the name 'Ipswich' comes up in the conversation now and then but what the fuck? We are Toffeemen, this is the dizzy heights, for those who can remember, we are used to this, so it's a no loose situation. The Mail on Sunday (who the fuck bought that? Jogger has got The Sport!) has two double page spreads on Rooney & Li Tie (he's got more fans than Beckham = 1.5bn!!!!!!!). We left early so we could see the shite get stuffed, good idea unless you were slaughtered on Saturday night, which of course we were! Chelsea & 2nd place also came into the converation but so did the burps and farts, God it's torturous travelling away!

I also wanted to see that BIG FAT UGLY fucker steward that got me thrown out two seasons ago, but that was just wishful thinking.

Only change in the team was that Nace made way for Pembo who had obviously recovered now that he had gone onto a Scouse diet. Gemmiill was back on the bench just in case things got rough! So how would we cope with what Moyesy descibed as 'the wounded animal', well they came out on fire, it was like the Alamo but Joey Yobo was John Wayne and Stubbsy was loading his bullets. The Geordies could not pass - let alone shoot, and when they did Richard Wright, Wright, Wright! was on England form.

They were all huff and puff and we were all composure, EVERY player in a blue shirt looked good, once we had overcome their initial onslaught then we knew we were going to go up the other end and do them. Just on 20 odd minutes we did, Tony Hibbert did brilliant (2nd touch was a slide tackle) to Pembo who sent it onto Rhino (Boomer) sent it onto Super Kev who chested it down and poked it through the goalies legs - fuckin deep joy, the redshite have lost & we're in front! As Sower would say 'Happy Days!'

Usual score this is a doddle, they are pissed off due to a week of hell but we don't care, the best team on Moyseyside are on a 1-0 roll and long may it continue. Now the ref up to this point had not been too bad, apart from his bald patch - remember the name MARK HALSEY and give him total shit the next time he comes to Goodison. The whinging Welshman was 1 on 1 with Joey, the PFA Player of the Month put his arm across Quazi's chest and the next thing is the bell ringer goes down like a sack of shite! Joey get's a red card and the whinging twat stays on to add the twist in the tale in the last minute.

Down to 10 men and backs against the wall, we had a countdown every 10 minutes, 70 minutes left, 60 minutes left etc but the Geordies were shite, we subbed Harry Hill & brought on Davey Weir and they didn't have a clue. Wrighty was on top form (he was aware that Kirkland might get a game following - 'Lllllllllllllllllllllllet's get ready to Fumble!!') and he coped easily with all that they threw at us, we went in at half time with budgie chests but knowing that the second half would be more of the same.

HALF TIME: Newcastle 0, Everton 1.

Second half started and for the first 15 mins you would have thought that they had 10 men! We bossed it & whilst we didn't create much we were certainly in no danger at our end. They kept plugging away but the defence were magnificent and after them was Wrighty who gets better every game.

At the other end The Rad was a constant thorm in their side, they say the other Welsh kid is fast! If anyone's as fast as the The Rad then I wouldn't fancy a 3 legged race against him. He was causing all sorts of problems and it was a real surprise when after 70 mins The Duke came on for him. Having said that, The Duke almost scored just after he came on ! Teed himself up for a shot on the edge of the box and it just got taken off his toe.

The Geordies could not break through, 10 mins to go and just like the redshite, they were pouring out of the ground. We were solid & it was going to be something special to beat us & Richard Wright, Wright, Wright. With about 5 minutes to go Shearer produced it, a volley that will rank 2nd to Wayne Rooney for goal of the Season. Minutes to go, the clean sheet record gone, we were happy to cling onto a draw with 10 men.

Then disaster! The Welshman broke in from the left, somehow got past Hibbo and a deflection from what I'm sure was a cross, went in off Li Tie & the near post past England's future No.1 - we could not believe it, the ground was half empty because theyed fucked off thinking they'd lost & they'd won! I hate coming to Newcastle!!

So there you have it. REMEMBER the refs name MARK HALSEY and give him the fuckin bifftas next time he's on Moyseyside. We didn't deserve to lose this, in fact if Joey had stayed on we would have cruised it. Roll on the return, the Magnificent 7 wasn't to be - despite having 2 Yul Bryner look-a-likes in the team, the run had to end sometime so we'll have to leave it until next week before we go 2nd! COME ON YOU BLUES!!!!

Star Man: A few contenders, like the whole team! Up against it for 70 mins so it has to be a defender (good job it's not Jogger's report or Stubbsy would have got it again!), my vote goes to the Premiership goalie who doesn't let it through his legs! Richard Wright, Wright, Wright! He had no chance with either goal and kept quite a few others out.

Sausage Reports from St. James Park

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Blue Kipper Star Man

Richard Wright