With some bad hangovers & even worse Christmas Jumpers, the bluekipper.com team had a few beers in the St Francis De Salle Club. The mood was jovial even more so when Sting Ray found a bottle of scotch. We were optimistic that we'd get the 3 points on offer.

Everton made a few changes, with Big Dunc starting upfront in place of Super Kev, who was rested or dropped depending if you believe in the squad system or not. More surprisingly was the choice of Alex Nyarko in place of Li Tie. Alex started with gloves on in the warm up, but discarded them before the kick-off. Maybe he thought he looked stupid with gloves on, whilst wearing a short sleeved shirt.

We got off to a flyer, putting Brum under early pressure. From a Naysmith's cross, Big Dunc sent a flying header into the net. The Park End was silenced when the goal was disallowed for offside. Not Ferguson, but Harry Hill. Fergie seemed up for it. He was winning every header. The problem was we were not capitalising on it. I think there are 3 reasons for this. Firstly Dunc, although wins 90% of headers, he doesn't always nod the ball with precision to the intended player. Secondly The Rad doesn't read his flick on's very well, and thirdly none of our current midfield players get up to support the forwards, a la Gary Speed.

Despite the bad weather, Everton had more of the chances. The Rad cut in from the left, but his shot was off target. We had a penalty appeal for hand ball turned down. A great move involving Hibbert & Nyarko, ended with The Ghanaian shooting. It was saved, but if The Rad would have got a toe to it, it may have been a different story. Birmingham had a few moments, but were dealt with by the defence. Notably a Stubbs clearance after Unsey had let Hughes in. Also the tackle of the half when Stubbsey slid in to take the ball & Forrsell.

Everton finished the half stronger with Killa, Nyarko, & Big Dunc all playing well. A great bit of play by Killa, Nyarko, Gravesen, & Carsley set up The Hobbit with a great crossing opportunity wide right. With Dunc eagerly waiting for the cross, Tony hit it high, wide & too hard. For fuck's sake Tony, sort it out. It's becoming your trade mark.

Half - Time: EVERTON, 0 BRUM 0.

The Duke came on for Harry Hill. Alex had his gloves back on. The wind & the rain was swirling around Goodison. Everton again started well, with Killa, Gravesen & Nyarko knocking the ball about well. That was until Tommy did his usual drag back, sending his opposite number the wrong way. Great! But then with Nace, wanting the ball for an overlap, passes the ball straight to a yellow shirt. We were in Royal Blue. Cue the crowd going mad at Tommy. Just as well Unsey was in top form to rescue the situation.

The Duke was starting to put his mark on the game. After a couple of good runs, he combined with The Hobbit & The Rad, got the ball back, ran to the dead ball line, pulled the ball back for Killa, coming in full pelt to clip goal wards. Only a great save prevented the 1st goal. Another Rooney inspired move saw a Ferguson effort cleared off the line. The goal finally came after both Stubbsey & Dunc put pressure on the Birmingham goalie from a cross, the ball fell to The Duke, who smashed it home from just inside the box. Cue "Rooney, Rooney, Rooney, Rooney" screaming out from all corners of the home of The People's Club. A lot of credit should go to the referee for being consistent throughout the game. He let the game flow and didn't blow up for petty fouls. Big Dunc was happy enough.

Rooney wasn't finished. Taking the ball down from the right wing. He unleashed an unbelievable shot, which Taylor saved brilliantly.

The Rad went down clutching his leg, as though he was shot. Raised his arm signaling a serious injury. A minute later he's up and playing on. He clearly doesn't like pain. While this was going on. Rooney was near the Brum supporters. They started the "You fat bastard" chant. The Duke raised his fingers Oh No I thought, but no he's learning. He shaped his fingers 1-0. Cheers all around. Jeffers & Yobo came on late on. Yobo made an impression, Jeffers didn't. I'd like Joey back in the middle of the defence in place of the much improved Unsey. If Moyesy is going to keep Unsey & Stubbsey together, we saw enough of Joey in midfield to know he's top class. He's just the presence we need in there.

There were some good contenders for Man of The Match. Big Dunc led the line well. If Upson is England material, I'll eat my sombrero. Alex Nyarko passed the ball well. Unsey & Stubbsey again had good games in defence, but my bluekipper.com Star Man Award goes to the ubiquitous Kevin ' Killa' Kilbane who on this form will be welcome in any Shabeen in Ireland. Bound to score.

Last thing Lili Savage an Everton target. Do me a favour. He's got nothing. Let's put that to bed. FA Cup next. Can't wait!

---

Déja Blue
By
Mickey Blue Eyes

Two Christmas matches in three days resurrects memories of the old Christmas Day/Boxing Day return fixtures against the same team. When you look back, it was a crazy arrangement which led to some startling reverses of fortune in the space of 24 hours. I remember Blackburn winning 8-2 at West Ham and then losing 3-1 at home. On another occasion we won 3-1 at Burnley (then a great team) and then lost 3-0 in front of 76,000 fans at The Old Lady. Of course it could only be explained by the time of year and all that self-indulgence. I was reminded of this when Moyesy complained about too many games during the holiday period. Considering the way we’ve played this season you would have thought it a good idea to acquaint our players with the concept of a ball and the passing thereof.

So, at home to another midlands team. This time, the Brummy Bashers, ugly as hell and even shorter of necessary abilities than ourselves. The match was equal to the occasion. That is, it was mostly shite and what good there was in it came from us toward the end. I looked forward to it the way you look forward to root canal work on a cold Monday in January.

And it was bloody cold, an icy wind straight off the river and up your trouser legs.

Pre-match drinky-poos entailed another meet with John K and his two young daughters Amelia and Emma, all of them still reeling from the culture shock of a twenty four hours flight, English society and the horrors of the Manchester City match. I was fortunate enough to miss the latter with flu but they had my fullest sympathy.

Once inside, we had Nyarko, Carsley, The Big Yin and The Rad back. The Duke on the bench. Fat lot of good it did us except for the first minute when The Yin butted one home close in. Nobody in the Street End noticed the linesman’s raised flag. Since the referee was the appalling Styles – yes, the same one from the Newcastle home match – the goal was disallowed. All our pagan rituals to The God Who Kills Dickhead Referees have gone unheeded. Both he and Riley continue to breathe oxygen instead of swim with the fishes. I will have a word with the boys.

There’s hardly any use attempting to describe play up to the goal scored in the second half of the second half. All of it was absolutely awful from both sides. The only consolation was the display from Savage. It underlined just how much of a useless arsehead he is and how insane it would be for us to even think about buying him. I pray we steer clear of him during the January transfer lunacy.

It was so bad, Stevie H and I contemplated a game of pontoon, a concept quickly dismissed by Neil on the grounds it was over too quickly. He suggested cribbage instead. We were sorely tempted. To my left, Peter Junior berated The Gravedigger at every opportunity. This could be anything from one of Nige’s goal kicks to Killa taking a throw in.

So while I’m here I’m happy to correct one of my own misjudgements, fill some space usefully, and concede I was wrong. This concerns Kevin Kilbane. The man has been a credit to himself and a huge help to us. I find on scanning previous reports I haven’t mentioned him nearly often enough. Like everybody else I groaned when I heard we had signed him. I freely concede this was a weak moment heavily influenced by peer opinion. I had hardly seen him before or noticed his play, something which also applies to the possible Sean Davis transfer. But the fact is Kevin Kilbane has often been our best and most effective player. Nothing flashy, just lots of obvious commitment and determination and occasionally a quite outstanding moment. I hope he can keep it up. If he does, he’ll be our player of the season. Nobody else gets near his consistency.

So Rooney gets brought on in the second half with The Ears. The latter is the opposite of Kilbane, next to useless for whatever reason, and at this rate already in possession of a ticket back to Lahndan. The Duke scored in due course when their ‘keeper dropped a cross under pressure from The Yin and Stubbsy and he banged it home from the edge of the goal area, another goal from the centre where he is most effective. Gradually, he’s learning how to snipe in the box. I suspect too Moyesy has him playing wide right for the moment to give him slightly more room and acquire more pace and accuracy on his long passing. A minute later he banged in a tremendous acute angled swerving cross shot which their ‘keeper did really well to see, never mind punch away.

For ten minutes after the goal we picked up the pace and started to apply some pressure. Eventually it petered out and we spent the last few minutes hoping we wouldn’t let through a last minute equaliser.

There’s no point pillorying anybody for this display. Hardly anybody would escape criticism. Worth saying, though, that The Yin and The Rad worked hard for what scraps they got from a lousy midfield combo and when Joey came on you could at least see one classy player on exhibition.

I was just glad when it was all over. I thought how John, Amelia and Emma must feel. It’s a long way from Oz. Frankly, this kind of display had me wishing I could take my family back there with them.

Kipper Reports from Goodison Park

---

Blue Kipper Star Man


Kevin Kilbane

 

Quotes

Rooney takes the ball down, just after his goal.
Lard says: "Take im on". Meaning the full back. Rooney ignores Lard's advice & smashes an unbelievable shot on goal. It's saved.

Jogger says: "You know fuck all"

Off The Ball

* Alex Nyarko started with gloves on in the warm up, but discarded them before the kick-off. Then came on in the second half with them back on again. He also played with a short sleeved shirt on.

* Rooney got the 'You fat bastard' chant from the Brum fans. He just put his hands up showing them the score. 1-0.