| Ron
does one
By
Mickey Blue Eyes
Amidst this week’s inconsequential sound and fury of
footy came four items of news of varying relevance. First, Diego Maradona
in intensive care in Argentina, then almost unnoticed Paul Gascoigne
announced the end of his playing career, then one Ron Atkinson was fired
from the media for unintentionally broadcast racist remarks. And then
somebody named Delia Smith said she wouldn’t sit in the Everton directors’
box after some Norwich fans directed racist abuse at Our Joey Yobo during
the cup game with them this season. For some odd reason Delia also thought
it necessary to attack Everton Football Club. Must Be That Time Of Month,
you sigh resignedly.
That Maradona and Gascoigne were both great players
there can be no doubt. Equally, both were a pair of arseheads who threw
their talents into the hopeless pit of drugs, alcohol, club and pub
hangers-on and self-pity. One can’t help feeling wistful about such
a waste, that they could probably have been even better, but you have
to say public sympathy was in quite understandable short supply. The
life lessons are as obvious as they always have been, and just as likely
to be ignored by some of the next generation of gifted young players.
We all hope Wayne Rooney has the common sense not to be one of them
though it’s entirely a matter between him and his conscience. Use it
or lose it, Wayne. I hope you don’t follow the worst “examples” set
by your neighbours isolated in the quiet suburban desperation of Formby.
I can’t say I detect any regrets over Atkinson’s departure,
nor should there be. He is quoted as referring to Marcel Desailly as
“…a fucking lazy nigger…” (or it might even have been “…a lazy fucking
nigger…”) over an unnoticed open microphone in a Middle East TV broadcast.
Rightly he had to go. Regulars will recognise this combination of words
as the precise juxtaposition I have warned of for the last two years
of racist barracking of Kevin Campbell – where the word “lazy” has become
code for “nigger.” It gives me no pleasure at all to be vindicated,
no matter how neatly. In fact all the lazy people I know are honkies.
Essentially all racists are cowards who can’t cope with life or their
own place in it. Racism of any sort is a convenient bolt-hole for the
inadequate and fitful, as are all the “arguments” against asylum seekers
– Home Secretary Blunkett included, especially when toadying to our
right wing media.
In Our case at Everton anybody who has remotely looked
at organised racism here will find it centred on a tiny number of BNP
fanatics based in north Liverpool. Everybody else who apes their shite
or their whining excuses is the kind of mug who buys Murdoch’s media
outlets or reads the Daily Telegraph or the Daily Mail or any of the
other suburban muck you can hear amongst mortgage-payers in a local
pub. Atkinson protests he isn’t a racist and points to his record of
giving young black players an opportunity whenever he managed a football
club. This makes no difference. You’re burnt toast, Ron. And guess what
colour that is.
Dear Delia Smith on the other hand seems to live in
rural cloud-cuckoo land out there in East Anglia. Apparently nobody
there – unlike every other club in the country – shouts racist abuse
at opposition players. Some Norwich fans also appear to be in similar
denial mode. I am willing to bet this episode has provided their own
brand of PC loony with enough self-righteousness for our fixtures next
season. The media, right-wing all, will have their “controversy” and
mostly promote the sensational irrational aspects without examining
either the subject or their own consciences. You have to say too there’s
an awful lot of irony in this given circumstances during the last few
years at Goodison. As usual with human nature you don’t know whether
to laugh or cry over the turn of events. The fact is The Beautiful Game
is riddled with racism from top to bottom, a suitable mirror of our
society. The idea that Norwich is free of this disease is as stupid
as the notion of a racist-free Goodison Park or any other ground. Otherwise,
why does the Kick Racism Out Of Football campaign exist? It appears
the dessicated TV cook prefers a sort of soft focus suburban self-deception
to the reality of life. And I have never liked the way her teeth protrude
slightly while she speaks. Narcissism thy name is Delia. Stay in the
kitchen and iron my shirt while you’re at it, girl.
Nevertheless it’s easy to understand Dear Delia’s confusion.
After all, this is a society that in film art places “Schindler’s List”
way behind “The Godfather” and “The Sopranos” in its estimation. Since
Spielberg’s masterpiece asks you to endure the genuine horror and well-nigh
unbearable pain of the worst of humanity for the sake of your own better
humanity, can you be surprised when the great mass of insensitised anti-intellectual
peons opt for the Coppola – Lenni Riefenstahl-style muck instead? Where
Spielberg shows reality our culture apparently prefers glorified Yank
organised criminal corrupters and their “business” and “entrepreneurs.”
Yeuk.
Match eve there was another more subtle demonstration of racism when,
gawd help us, Saint George’s Day rolled around again. It’s a day I always
enjoy celebrating if only to hold a mirror up to the unhappy faces of
the hypocritical racism of those chauvinist Plastic Paddies and Phoney
Celts who ruin Saint Patrick’s Day, Saint David’s Day and Whatever Day
The Jocks Bother With. It is only right that we English give them a
right royal rogering at every opportunity. As I long ago pointed out
– we don’t want them, and the REAL Celts and Paddies recognise them
for the pseudo-relics they are. Give me ten thousand asylum seekers
of any origin for one of the phoney ethnics. Pick the bones out of that,
racists, PCers and Delia.
But it was beautiful warm evening on Friday and straight
from the studio I repaired to the café outside tables of Concert
Square with some young and talented reprobates who were also celebrating
freedom from the tyranny of university and the intellectual counterfeits
of course qualification. Alas, the place was overflowing with similar
inclinations even at 4.30 pm. Early on the communal sense of relaxation
was palpable and welcome, but, as usual, as time wore on alcohol began
to take its nasty toll and the general warm buzz of conversation began
to mutate into yelled incoherence and an increasingly frantic and sweaty
search for “a good time.” Still, Spring has well and truly arrived and
brings with it the glorious sight of gorgeous women in slender, bare
midriffs and dazzling figures. There are always compensations. At such
times obesity looks even more unfortunate and unattractive.
Next to me was Brian, an Ulster lad who supports Man
Sitteh. I once asked him why, and he said wickedly, “Everyone else seemed
to support Man Yew. So I chose Sitteh.” I like Brian loads. Plainly
a free-thinker, he has no truck with convention and those who try to
tell you how to run your life or tell you what to say and when to say
it. Moreover, he shares my views – and then some – about Plastic Paddies.
We ruminated about the last match of the season and the fact that We
might well send Sitteh into relegation, or even vice versa if things
get disastrous for Us. As befits such a free spirit he shrugged his
shoulders and said, “C’est la vie. We’ve been there before.” I like
and share his priorities. They are excellent and coincide with my own.
When match day came I was diverted from the game at
the last minute by other more matters. It would appear I had a narrow
escape. Moreover, that last match might be needed after all………………
Tsk tsk.
Quotes
Moyesy says: "It
was rubbish as far as we're concerned. It wasn't good that's for sure."
At
half-time Sausage says: "I'm staying by the bar. I can't
face another half like that"
Jogger
says: "I can't wait to pay the extra till for my season
ticket next season"
Off
The Ball
*
The match was so shite the whole of the ground stood up to watch a couple
ofstewards throw out some Blackburn fans
Team
News
Moysey
will be plaesed to have his full compliment of defenders back to full
fitness. Stubbsey, Unsy, Hibbo and Clarkey are all back in full training.
But I don't think any of them will be in the starting 11 with Davey
Weir keeping his place alongside Joey after his impressive performance
last week against Chelsea.
I
also expect Stevie Watson to return to the right side of midfield with
Faddy back on the bench.
Steve
Watson says “A win would give us 42 points which would be good
but more importantly it keeps our run going. We’re on a very good run,
we’ve only been beaten once in the last nine games and we think that
all the remaining games are winnable or we can certainly get points
from them. We might go through to the end of the season on a very good
run, hopefully climb the table and Saturday will hopefully be the start
of that.
Pisto
says:" We can’t consider ourselves safe yet. There are
still four games and we have to pick up as many points as we can. Until
we are mathematically safe we can’t say it but probably with another
win to take us to 42 points we will be okay. You never can tell in this
league. Especially at the end of a season when everybody is trying to
get as many points as they can. Each game is harder than the previous
one.
It’s
true that we gain confidence from not conceding goals but I think that
we’ve got a big advantage when all the team plays together. When we
play well as a team it’s much easier for defenders. I feel that that’s
been happening more in recent weeks. We’ve conceded less goals so I
think we’ve played better as a team."
Alan
Irvine says:“We need a win to make sure that we’re definitely
safe, because I wouldn’t like to be on 39 points going into the last
game of the season, as it would be very nervous. It may turn out to
be enough, but I definitely think that we need more points.
“We’re on a terrific run at the moment. I think we’ve had one defeat
in nine. Unfortunately too many of them have been draws and
they’ve been draws when it looks as though they’ve been games we should
have won. That’s been disappointing, but it has been a good
run, losing only at Newcastle during that spell. Our home form has been
very good this season and we’ll be looking to continue it on Saturday.
We love playing at home. When you think about how disappointed we are
with the points total we’ve got, but then compare that with the points
total we’ve got at home - it just goes to show how well we do at Goodison.
Nobody enjoys coming to Goodison now, I’m sure.”
Kipper's
Eleven to start: Martyn, Pistone, Yobo, Weir, Naysmith, Watson,
Gravesen, Linderoth, Kilbane, Rooney, Radzinski.
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