Everton: Martyn, Pistone, Stubbs, Unsworth, Naysmith, Watson, Carsley, Gravesen, Kilbane, Campbell, Radzinski.

Bench: Simonsen, Rooney for Watson( 25m), Li Tie, Jeffers, McFadden for Radzinski (84m).

Referee: Uriah Rennie.

Driving down to Pompey with me ears still ringing from the Missus going on &
fuckin on about how I thought more of Everton than Christmas! Everyone else
in the street has got their lights up, Shirley's husband next door
(redshite) bought their tree two weeks ago - (that's cos he never goes to
the game), when are you going to wrap your presents, I bet you haven't even
bought mine yet & so on. I might be a close call between the Toffees and
Crimbo, it all depends on how we play and I had convinced myself today was
the day.

On the way, I convinced the unbelievers as to why. Firstly, this is Pompey
who are on the slide, Moysey will have Rooney on the bench & a strong
formation including Steve Watson and Super Kev, surely after failing to beat
rivals Blackburn, Bolton & City we must win the leap above 'The Scummers'
and most importantly to send us back on this horrendous journey with what
Moyesy described as 'that Saturday night feeling' - what fuckin great
feeling that is, particularly when the shite go down as well!

The last time I was here we nicked it 1-0 thru Sharpy and I had to make a
sharp exit to avoid angry tars are over exhuberent celebrations, I had
forgotten just how far it was and by the time we had taken shelter in the
boozer I had also forgotten about the Missus moaning (I heard the other day
God invented orgasms to give women another reason to moan! Sorry Toffettes).

There was plenty to dampen spirits on arrival, the rain was pissing on our
end and it was blowing a gale as well but it found the Toffeemen in good
voice, we felt it was to be our day. Sure enough Moysey shuffled the pack,
Pisto came in at right back, Steve Watson wide right, Killa wide left and
Super Kev up front our only worry could be the ref - Uriah Rennie (at least
he could renew old hostilities with Big Dunc as he wasn't even on the
bench).

Early exchanges were equal, we restricted them to a couple of long range
efforts and we had a couple of corners gained by the marauding Gary Naysmith however as usual our corners end in the opposition going on the attack! Why is that? Another thing is free-kicks, surely we never practice free-kicks through the week because we are clueless - main priority lads is to get it on target then we have a chance, we can live in hope.

Pompey went ahead on 16mins with a goal that looked well offside, Teddy
Sherringham played a ball in behind our defence and while we appealed Jason
Roberts thumped it past Martyn giving him no chance. It will be interesting
to see this one again though because it looked well off but then again we
had Uriah Rennie to blame. One down, how would we react? Things looked to be only getting worse when Stevie Watson pulled up with an injury & indicated to come off, on the plus side he was replaced by Wayne and The Duke had an immediate impact. We drew level following good work down the left by Kilbane who put Gary Naysmith in, Nace crossed and Harry Hill slotted home from just inside the box. Mayhem, one a piece, we had scored a goal, Lee Carsley to boot - Winter Wonderland!

It could have got even better as we gained the upper hand, we had 3 corners
on the bounce - don't need to report what happened with those - and the Rad
had a good chance but it was deflected wide, then just before half time we
were singing in the rain as The Duke put us ahead. It was scrappy but we
will take whatever when we are down at 17th in the league! Nace crossed the
goalie flapped it fell to the Duke who shot and it seemed to get a
deflection before going in - who cared, we were in front and before halftime
it could have been even more, Super involved twice, once going round their
goalie & crossing but no-one on the end and another a header which went just
over.

HALF TIME Pompey 1, Toffees 2.

With The Duke's goal going in so close to half time I had one of those
moments with the bloke sat next to me, you know the one? He gets up before
the end of the half to beat the queue because just thinking of that pie and
pint has got him salivating, we score & he runs back up the stairs to join
the celebrations. How is it then that when you ask the pie-eater at the
beginning of the second half did he miss the goal? The answer is always 'No,
just caught it' - lyin' bastard!

We expected Pompey to come out and bombard us in the second half but it was not really that way, it was pretty even. We had our usual few corners that
came to rock all, Killa had a good shot that produced a good save, Super
held it up well all day and The Rad & The Duke caused them problems. Don't
get me wrong we had some scary moments too, like a succession of corners to them but Stubbsy & Unsy were looking solid - old Rhino is revelling in
getting back to his old position, he's even looking forward to marking Ruud
on Boxing Day! With around 20 mins to go Uriah Rennie produced another of his momemts only this time we were to benefit. Steve Stone and Wayne Rooney were tussling for the ball, handbags ensued and The Duke pushed Stone who went down like a bag of shite, play stopped, Pompey fans screamed, 'off, off' & Rennie went for his pocket, Rooney walked only to be called back and given a yellow card - unbelievable! Our luck was clearly turning and from then on in you knew it was going to be our day.

Jimmy Mc came on for The Rad as we tried to play out the game but it was The Toffee's who nearly increased the lead in a great move involving Super &
Wayne with Wayne just shooting wide. The clock ticked down and the Pompey chimes were not heard, it was to be our day. That Saturday night feeling was with us once more, pissed wet through we didn't care, 6 hour journey - who gives a shit, we won, 3 points, away from that bottom 3, Leicester next week & the shite lost to boot - happy days. Just need to satisfy the missus now, by putting the decorations up of course!

There were a number of Star Man contenders this week, Tommy, Harry Hill &
Killa did well in the middle, Unsey & Stubbsy were solid, Rooney looked
better for coming off the bench rather than starting & The Rad ran his socks
off but Star Man was Super Kevin Campbell he was the difference, involved
throughout held the ball up well, caused their goalie to flap for the second
and was unlucky not to score himself, 'welcome back' Kev, I hope my missus
says the same to me!

Sausage Reports from Fratton Park

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Blue Kipper Star Man

Super Kev

 

 

Carsley Scores The First

"Great Goal, Dog"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rooney Walks