There was one objective here tonight, and it wasn't to keep sober! It was nothing more, nothing less than to get within 4 points of the Arse, it's no good looking back, we have to look forward, fuck the rest, it's Everton & 4th place that matters. We have been there for the majority of the season, we must not blow it now.

So here we were against the mighty Norwich, Deliah stirring it nicely on a low light, in the away end. Most of us thought that we would stuff Norwich but Lard & Jogger got a right pisser on with me when I announced that they hadn't won away this season - probably gives some credence as to why they were lying in the aisle when the winner went in!
There was added spice tonight as Mrs Sausage was in attendance for the first time since Watford 1984, fortunately sat with my best mate as I have matured since The Rat lifted the cup into a wailing, screaming dervish & she would not recognise her spouse. She can come along anytime when we get 3 points!These 3 points however were hard earned.

Ozzy was injured so Joey took his place, Macca kept his shirt & rightly so, Hibbo returned and that was about it. The only disappointment was the formation, 4-5-1, Beattie was lost up front on his Jack, we huffed & puffed & looked no better than the Canaries in the opening 45 despite us being closer to the top than they were to the bottom! Nige did not have a save to make & their goalie hardly needed Deliah's oven mitts either!

We had a typical Stubbsy free kick which went in true Ernie Hunt style high wide & handsome - Stubbsy, sack the free kicks, Bolton away is a distant memory! Macca probed & Hibbo marauded down the wing, Tim was busy & Harry Hill worked his socks off but the shape was wrong. Moyesy thought the yellows were better than The Black Cats and persisted with the shape, half time couldn't come soon enough. Hopefully our leader would have a rethink. At the break, the pitch was besieged by an army of groundsmen with forks and shovels tending to the pitch, they were fighting a losing battle as it looked knackered beyond repair. It is to be dug up and relaid in time for the Chelsea game, maybe we should leave it as it was certainly proving a leveller tonight.

Time: Everton 0 Norwich 0

The second half started much better with us taking the game to them and two early efforts from Killa and Beatts went close however the game settled back into the first half routine, we had all the possession, they tried to hit us on the break and neither keeper had a save to make. Having said that, Big Nige did look save whenever he was called into action and it looks like Dicky will have to keep himself warm getting splinters in his arse for the rest of the season.

The shape stayed the same and we desperately need a change, with 30 mins to go we got it, bring on the Big man! Dunc came on for Davy Weir with Joey, who was having a stormer, moving back in defence. Straight away he caused mayhem, fouled on the edge of the box and Harry Hill lined up a free kick. His boots which he scored against the shite went for £2700 at the inaugural New Year dinner, he must have had an old pair of Stubbsy's on as he hit the kick well wide.

As the game wore on there was always the danger of them sneaking one but Nige was looking safe and he saved easily from a Dean Ashton header. Beatts was subbed for Benty and two minutes later we got the break through. A cross was whipped in from the right, Benty headed for goal, the keeper saved and Dunc slid in with Doherty, the ball went in, we went wild and we didn't give a shit who'd scored!

One up and 4 points behind the Arse, now hang on to it! That's just what we did. Gary Naysmith came on in a pair of Unsy's shorts for Jimmy Mac who left the field to a rousing reception as he had given his all. They had a great chance which fell to Huckerby Hound but once again Big Nige did his job. They also had a late shout for a penalty when Stubbsy handled but we saw it out and the 3 points were in the bag. 'It's a grand ole team' was belted out and we went home happy and relieved.

Not a great performance but then again it was always going to be difficult given the Norwich plight & our pitch, Deliah looks like she'll not need to snub our Director's Box seat next year! Plenty of effort tonight, Hibbo worked hard down the flanks, the defence look happier with Big Nige back, Harry Hill did well and Joey looked a class act. The Blue Kipper Star Man goes to James McFadden who tried all his tricks to break the Canaries down, he was shoved out wide right after a great performance up front against Sunderland. The youngest player in the team, our Jimmy Mac looks as though he's coming good at just the right time, bring on the Pensioners!

Full Time: Everton 1 Norwich 0

Big Dunc Celebrates The Goal

Joey Knocks A Ball Down The Line

Sausage Report from Goodison Park

Blue Kipper Star Man

Jimmy Mac

 

You Tell Him, Its Not His Goal

 

 

Solid

 

Midfield