You know what? The Toffeemen never let you down. Fact. If you are a Toffee, you will know exactly what I mean, if you are not a Toffee then you will never even begin to understand. I was on me way back for The Lakes, fuckin great when you are on a monster walk, you come off the fells and into a village, there's a boozer there so you pop in & there's two kids wearing Chang shirts! What do you do? My Mrs's twatted me when I started singing 'It's a grand old team to play for......', she then smiled as the kids sang back, '..and it's a grand old team to support, 'an if yer know, yer 'istory.......' at which point we all joined in and rocked the The Lake District! COYB.
Today, just like Spurs, we thought we had the points in the bag. Blame fuckin Burnley! Villa, having been humiliated through the week were sent out not to get beat. Surely Moyesy knew this?

Driving to the game we heard Moyesy saying how Joey played well in the middle & that he would be the choice to replace the Daily Mail favourite, Harry Hill (what is the saying? The cheque's in the post?!),.. When the team was announced, Joey wasn't even on the bench! We heard that Joey had thrown a bottle of salad cream at Moyesy, it was obviously a Dressing Room spat!

So it was the same team except Stevie Watt replaced slap 'ead - he shouldn't have bothered! Can you pinch y'self and ever say you would have missed Lee Carsley last season?!

I'm twatted as I write this & struggle to remember my last pint or even my last point, let alone the game (middle son is doing spell chucker) aaarrghhh!!

I ended up in the Park End where it looked like we bossed the first half, how the fuck they scored a blinder and went in front I do not know. They must have had their bollocks squozen by O'leary (he'll write the book later & leave when Villa are on the brink) after being trounced by the mighty Burnley & told not to lose.

They went ahead with a stonker, Pist one-as-an-arseole,I'mplayingforanewcontract-cunt' failed to close play down as Villa cut in, the ball fell to Hendry and he whacked a beauty into to top corner. Villa & their annoying fans were 1 up & we could not believe it? Bossed the 1st half, Tommy in charge, Killa causing probs, Defence strong and we are 1 down?!

Pick the ball up, put it on the spot, then get back up and at them! Which was exactly what we did! Not long after Villa had taken an underserved lead, we drew level. Bossy did well and won a corner, as Villa broke out Davey Weir won the ball, waltzed forward in Beckon style and played Bent in, he made no mistake and we went wild. He's Bent & he knows he is!

Quite how we went in all square is bewildering. We were all over Villa who were sitting themselves in case they went in to see O'Leary behind? Fuckin frightening enough seeing his face!

Half Time EVERTON 1, Villa 1

So, what would we do to them 2nd half? Fuck knows what was said at half time but half the team never came out! Ibo put his boots on different feet - after looking England like 1st half he was seeing a different colored shirt second. Pistol was Pistol - Shiite, is he playing his longest spell ever or is there a new contract in the offing? Kill went to sleep & Watt was rightly subbed for Big Dunc (Watt was poor, where was Joey?) Timmy was nowhere to be seen & after a 1st half blinder Tommy went missing too?!!

We needed to boss the game & tat Villa but apart from Bossy's effort which Paul Daniel's kept out then we were never going to win. Worrying really because they had only had the Burley warning and we couldn't break them down?

Loadsa huffnpuff but no end result, a bastard really as we were all up for it, just like Spurs - 5 points and we would now be TOP! (and by 2 clear points!). COYB
My Blue Kipper Star Man is Marcus Bent, he never gives up, great example was our corner where Villa broke away and Benty chased back and put it out in front of the dugout. He might not have it all but he's top scorer and NEVER stops trying, he'll do for us! And he snotted the equaliser!!

Still 3rd, big gap to 4th, redshite not in site! COYB FTRS!!! Bring on Chelsea so we can go joint 1st!!

Full Time: EVERTON 1, Villa 1

Watto Outpaces J Lloyd Samuel

Benty Slots The Equaliser

Swiss Tony Reports from Goodison Park

Blue Kipper Star Man

 

 

Chances

 

Classy

Halloween
By
Mickey Blue Eyes

Yet another good league away win at Norwich and a Mickey Mouse Cup home win (over a team I heard called Penis North End by a nearby juvenile delinquent) and the perennial homegrown whingers and bleaters were once again thwarted by events, poor bastards. Of course had we lost the latter game you could have forecast intensified high pitched whines about being locked out, even though admission intentions and due warnings were widely disseminated by the club in the media and on the internet well before the game, and we had the precedent of the Leyton Orient FA Cup game a few years ago. Some people never learn, or can’t read, or both. Shaking your head, you wonder if they once had a frightening experience with a literacy test. You can safely bet the same circumstances will apply again at some future date since with that mentality it’s rather like hoping a brick will develop a limited intellectual capacity. To them – next time, get there early as requested. Or don’t bother. Or grow up.

Meantime, Leeds United (remember them? follow their “business plan” etc?) is apparently on the verge of being bought by one of Sainsburys for about £25 million. How appropriate for the financial mess of modern football. Down in Lahndan, an overpriced Rumanian Chelsea player has been sacked for taking drugs. With the world at his feet he ended up in the gutter. Still, you self-indulge that muck and get found out, you pay the price. Just as you do if you’re an innocent alcohol or nicotine addict. Ergo, I have no sympathy whatsoever for the casual, wilful miscreant. Do the crime, do the time. The only thing of interest will be comparison of his suspension with Rio Ferdinand’s, which, as we all know, should have been two years, not eight months. Also meantime, the government is indirectly encouraging football clubs to build new stadia with a gambling casino attached. Well, if we’re going to have organised crime or the mafia in this country we might as well have it government-sponsored like it is in mob owned Las Vegas or Reno. You can always rely on Blair’s New Labour to do exactly what the corrupt Yank Establishment tell it to do, even with £100 millions spent on “lobbying” the government by the “gaming industry” (read: hoods’n’thugs’r’us inc.) a la Bernie Ecclestone. What could be more appropriate for the modern game than a money-laundering club or a conduit for drugs? Laugh ye not. The warnings are stark enough.

And so the Villa home game rolled around. It isn’t a game I anticipate much and this one was no exception. There are too many oddly resentful and angry loons among their fans and their play is usually peculiarly tetchy. Perhaps they all deserve each other. Whatever. Too much hate, see.

Lee Carsley was missing after his red card against the Wools of PNE and Nigel was back in goal, Stubbsy with Davey at centre back, full backs as you were. The midfield looked lopsided to me – Watson/Cahill/Leon/Gravesen/Kilbane. Marcus up front, solo. No Joey, not even on the bench – what IS going on there?

Villa were no mugs but that’s about the best you could say about them. One ten minutes period of neat play was all they could muster in the first half and that was their major constructive contribution for the entire game. O’Leary looks to have a gigantic task ahead of him. Nor did we really get going until the second half and even then we weren’t that convincing. Mostly, play was scrappy and inaccurate

We had lots of possession in the opening phase and came close on a few occasions. The nearest was a Gravedigger effort when he dribbled across the edge of their box right-to-left and got himself clear left side but couldn’t hit his left foot shot cleanly and it ended up buried in their keeper’s chest. As time wore on a sense of déjà vu dominated the crowd. By now everybody’s got used to the general pattern of play. Unfortunately in this game we played many more long passes than previously and they weren’t very accurate, though Marcus Bent chased absolutely everything within his range. As I saw it the main problem was centre-mid and the lack of Lee Carsley’s tackling. Which meant Villa could create a little more pressure on Davey and Stubbsy. Which explains why I figure Stubbsy was our best man even though we had most of the ball.

Despite all this, Villa got a goal right out of the blue and right against the run of play after about twenty-five minutes. A good opportunist one, too. It was an odd, side-footed looping shot from right of the D by Lee Hendrie who had a fractious afternoon and was usually at the centre of a fractious scrum at various times throughout.

Most of the crowd didn’t like Hendrie much, which isn’t an opinion I share. The boy can play. He needs to curb his worst instinct, that’s all. You could say the same thing about Rooney. But Hendrie isn’t like Bellamy at Newcastle or Savage at Birmingham, both of whom seem to have a twisted gene somewhere in their make-up. And when a nearby pimply-faced adolescent called him, “A fuckn big-eared shitfaced ugly poison dwarf with an inferiority complex,” I merely marvelled at another unprincipled if deliberately humorous assault on our beloved language. Try shouting it in a Scouse accent and you’ll see what I mean. It sounds like a primitive first attempt on a creative writing course.

Over five minutes later we got the equaliser when an imperious Davey Weir helped break up an attack around the half way line and took the ball forward. For some reason Villa’s centre-mids just melted away and gave him time to deliver a superb through ball to unmarked Marcus in their box, left side and closing, one-on-one. He dinked it gently over the ‘keeper, no sweat. He’s quite good at these. One wonders if infuriating Tommy Rad ever watches him doing something that might have brought the Canadian two or three times the goals he got before he left.

Second half brought the now familiar bombardment of the Street End goal. This time, though, it was spasmodic and not persuasive. Despite that, Leon hit the right post with one of his Greavesy-type slow angled shots that rebounded parallel with the goal line with most of the Street turned and cavorting too far in advance. The Big Yin and Jamie Mac came on as subs, which immediately led to a cluster of anxious Villans around the big man and the usual charge and counter-charge of felonious elbow. It helped concentrate the away side even more on defence. These days it gets more and more difficult to criticise Moyesy’s subs tactics and their timing. Sadly, Jamie Mac proved once again unable to break out of his obvious lack of confidence. More and more the crowd rumble that he looks like he won’t make it. There’s still time, but much more of this and it might be better to loan him out until he does what Leon did and fight back.

By the time of the final whistle both sides had fought the game to a standstill. Villa got off lightly. But they could also have made a few late breakaways count.

You know, this is getting to be an almost romantic season. Incredibly, had the results gone our way we could have gone top of the table. And that means you can rip the piss out of the joyless bleaters to your hearts content, at least until we hit a bad run and they get flushed out of the drains again. And then you can take the piss out of them anyway. At the moment you can imagine the poor getts sitting in the dark in their attic gnawing despairingly at their fingernails wondering what other misery they can try to create – it was All Hallows Eve after all.

Enjoy, enjoy.