JOEY’S PAL JOEY
By
Mickey Blue Eyes

After a creditable midweek draw against Blackburn came our annual jaundiced hegira to White Hart Lane. If we are going to come back to earth Spurs is usually the place we do it, and anyway nobody in their right mind relishes a visit to the unloved and claustrophobic dome of toxic carbon monoxide known as London. Normally I avoid the place like the plague unless business calls are insistent. Anybody who wants to live and work in the overpriced, friendless, densely packed scruffy metropolitan dump needs what passes for his/her brains examining.

However, I was back on The Bus for the first time in a year. Last season business demands ensured I managed only one away game at Bolton. Apparently I was the lucky one since most away performances were even worse than our distressing homers. But it was good to see many of the old faces and some new ones on an unusually classy vehicle that we were told was once The Skunks team coach – loads of leg room, layback seats, tables, loo, kitchen with microwave, front and rear audio-video systems etc. We’ve never travelled in such luxury. Terry had pulled off his biweekly miracle of organisation. He invited us all to partake in a £100 bet for Everton to win and drew gales of laughter from those bearing memory scars from this fixture. Organisational genius or not, not a single soul believed in our fortunes enough to contribute some more of their hard-earned – the trip was already costing £20 for The Bus (itself a stroke of negotiating genius) and an unbelievable £36 for the match seat, total £56. Then you have to add in your spends, a lot of money for those fans with a family home to keep and not much by way of an annual salary or wage. Football is on the verge of pricing itself out of reach of its natural majority.

In the bar before any match you cannot avoid overhearing some peculiar things. But they are nothing compared to armchair defeatists who don’t even go to games and get their information and crack-brained prejudices from TV highlights, the football media and other loony rumour mongers. Last week I overheard some total knobhead saying, “Why can’t we play football like Tottenham and West Ham?” All this because – and good luck to them – Spurs for once had a good season and West Ham reached the Cup Final. Once again, ne’er do well crackpots were whining, “Why can’t we be like THEM?” You’d weep if you weren’t too busy holding your sides with laughter while taking the piss out of the nutters. By some not-so-strange coincidence it is usually the same kind of nonce who used to ask why we couldn’t be like Leeds, Ipswich, Charlton, Newcastle, Portsmouth etc. etc. So Spurs and the Hammers are merely the latest version of convenient excuse dredged from the innermost recesses of a sad neurosis. The idea they play some special brand of footy will come as a shock not only to real football fans but to Spurs and Hammers fans themselves, however pleased they were with their respective seasons. Unsurprisingly, when you finish higher up the league table your footy looks a good deal better than when you finished lower down, even when you have obvious team weaknesses. ‘Twas ever thus.

We might have known something was in the offing with prior noises Moyesy made about team formations and different roles expected from players like Tim Cahill. Midfield, he said, had to mend its ways. Well, swipe me season card if that isn’t what most of us have been saying for yonks. Still, better late than never. So it transpired.

Joleon Lescott was at centre back in lieu of Stubbsy while James Beattie was asked to take his underperforming arse to a cold seat on the bench. Once again Tottenham had spent loads of money they don’t have to reinforce the team with players just as Premiership-unproved and borderline as some of our less expensive signings. When it came down to it, it was virtually a duel between Moyesy and the resident Spurs Cheesehead, Martin Jol. Moyesy won it hands down, and then some. It took Spurs half an hour to summon a shot and them almost the rest of the game to raise any sort of threat at all. By then the stadium had drained of their fans anxious to avoid the fate of their so-called “classy” team. Of course their play was nothing of the sort and nor was it last season. This isn’t a dig at Spurs or their fans, just a statement of reality.

Kevin Kilbane managed to get himself sent off after half an hour and three stupid fouls on their right back. We all looked at each other and went, “Here we go again. It’s Tottenham after all.” It didn’t matter that Thatcher of Manchester infamy had avoided a sending-off after delivering a quite public forearm smash on a hapless Portsmouth player midweek. Most referees these days have little to offer except their inconsistent incompetence and this one was no different.

Instead of folding their tents Our (ten-man) Boys actually grabbed the game by the scruff of its neck and never let go. We won by an unaswered two and it could have been even more.

For me the whole performance was based around the fluid central defensive solidarity of Joey Yobo and Joleon Lescott, or the Two Joeys as they were instantly dubbed. If it wasn’t a flash-in-the-pan their instant playing chemistry was obvious to anyone with any footy nous. Nothing got past them. The knock-on results were startling. Full backs Neville and Naysmith (!) were equally as determined, and once the midfield saw we weren’t as leaky as a colander they took extra heart and not only won most of the fifty-fifties they found time to spray some incisive passes of their own around. On the day it was Us who played the classy football. Tottenham got exactly nowhere and never looked like they would. In fact when we went forward we looked more likely to score than they did, especially when Andy Johnson took off on one of his electric Mr. Everywhere runs.

Five minutes after half time he chased a seemingly lost cause on our right by the corner flag, got bowled over and secured a free kick. Master craftsman Mikky curled it in and Joleon got in a downward header and it fizzed in off their centre back – not that it mattered much because Joey was right behind him shaping to stick it away had he missed. Ten minutes later we got another when Leon squirmed brilliantly out of two heavy midfield tackles by the centre circle, veered right and delivered a perfect ball out to Phil Neville wide right and on his own. Given a fraction of extra time before he was closed down he got over a magnificent ground cross that totalled the entire Spurs defence and Andy Johnson came bulleting in and slid it in from close range with two defenders hanging off his neck. It was all over. Good night Spurs after twenty one years. Everyone waved “Cheerio!” to departing Spurs fans wearing the collective face of a smacked arse.

My man of the match was Leon Osman but he had a lot of competition. Close contenders were Joleon and Joey who looked as though they’ve played together for a hundred years. Lee Carsley completely snuffed Robbie Keane – no small task – while Gary Naysmith had an excellent game shepherding Lennon to anonymity. Tim Howard had little to do and when he did he spilled nothing and grabbed everything. Relief.

But since we have all criticised midfield mercilessly it is only fair they should get credit for a sterling, unified performance in this game. Once Kilbane was gone they had to redouble their efforts and they went about it with the kind of determination and skill we have waited for for the last year or so. Encouragingly, there was no sign of fading this time. Even Mikky got in a few solid tackles to add to his skill, while Tim Cahill performed really well in what is presumably his new more solid central role. Leon, though, was outstanding, the best all round performance I have ever seen him deliver. And when the chips were down Andy Johnson chased and tackled back as much as anyone, as well as giving the Spurs defence a harrowing time.

Back on The Bus Terry showed us a betting slip for £100 at 7-2 against an Everton win. He pocketed four hundred and fifty crisp oncers. Nice, very nice. But still not as nice as this win.

Fans Match Report From Smudge.

Well, what can I say, is this the best away result I've seen up to now watching Everton? 1-0 at City in my first away (and winning £135 into the bargain!), 3-2 at Norwich, the late wins at Boro and Sunderland, and the best up to now, the destruction of Villa to break a long long jinx at Villa Park. Today beats everything, hands down, yet for 45 minutes, it looked like being yet another in a long line of inglorious walloping at the hands of Spurs, who usually save up an entire seasons worth of luck for our annual visit to White Hart Lane.

26th August 1985, 21 years ago today. I wouldn't even be born for another 3 months! Juventus were the holders of the European Cup, and reigning champions and ECWC holders Everton won 1-0 at White Hart Lane thanks to Gary Lineker's first goal for the club, the first of 40 goals he would score in his only season at Goodison. We've been cursed at the Lane ever since, most Evertonians fear WHL more than Highbury, Stamford Bridge, Anfield, Old Trafford, only Elland Road had us jinxed for longer. With the Elland Road and Villa Park jinxes put to bed in the last couple of seasons, its about time this one was ended.

Beattie's performances so far led him to be dropped today, in favour of a 5 man midfield, and AJ as the lone striker. In the first half, we struggled to reacquaint ourselves with the faithful old system, but we were certainly passing the ball and keeping possession better than we have so far this season, so that was a start. AJ, Osman and Cahill looked dangerous too. Then Kevin Kilbane was ridiculously booked...his first yellow card was the wrong decision, but to be fair, I'd say it's all the ref got wrong today, he was surprisingly good, given this early booking. While I don't agree that the first booking was deserved, Kilbane's eventual dismissal on 32 minutes was pure stupidity. On a yellow card, he had already been given a stern final warning, before he launched himself into a ridiculous tackle he was never going to win, nor needed to make, as Naysmith had Lee covered. No decision to make for the ref, stupid red card for Kilbane, and everyone in the away section with a sense of deja vu. The only sign of comfort came from the fact that while Spurs saw a lot of the ball after the red card, their best chance came when Naysmith hit a clearance against his own bar. One good delivery from a set piece was all it took, and we'd have something to hang on to then...

Early in the second half, we started to believe. AJ made a great run down the right, and was fouled twice by Assou Ekotto right under the linesman's nose before the ref awarded a free kick. Please Arteta, one good one! I didn't even know what happened next. The ball went in, I saw Lescott make some connection with it, lots of oohing and aahing, and next thing we know, its gone in the net! Lescott and Yobo both claiming, but who gives a sh*t who scored, we're leading at White Hart Lane with 10 bloody men!!! From then, we had to expect Spurs to step up a gear, but it never came. If anything, we looked the more dangerous on the break. Then Osman set up the first lightening counter attack goal I've seen Everton score in years! Lennon cut inside and ran into the box, but Ossie took it off his toe and ran forward via a little one two with Naysmith. For a player who is 'too weak and lightweight' to play in the Premiership, he held off Davids brilliantly before giving to the unmarked Phil Neville, who played an absolutely perfect pass between two defenders, and onto AJ's boot, and into the net! 2-0!!! We're going absolutely mental in the away end, we've got the cushion, and we're comfortable. But we've seen all this before! Spurs have to come back now....

But they didn't...in fact, Tim Howard made his first and only save 90 seconds into stoppage time, a routine header from Berbatov straight at him. Blow the bloody whistle ref!!! He's blew it, and for the first time in my lifetime, Everton walk out of White Hart Lane with 3 points and the curse is broken! I didn't realise it at the time either until a lad on the train home pointed it out, its our first win in London since Crystal Palace 2 years ago! I'd got so caught up in beating the curse of White Hart Lane, I'd forgotten all about the fact I was still yet to see Everton win in London. Two birds killed with one stone at long long last! The train journey home was interesting to say the least, even if I did have to put up with a gang of Evertonians walking past me, in reference to me having Lescott's name on the back of my shirt, and singing 'Jolene, Jolene,' and 'There's only one Mrs Lescott!' 6 hours travelling thanks to roadworks, motorway accidents, problems with the Tube, and having to get the bus from Seven Sisters, arriving just in time for kick off, my God was it worth it! To think, finding that we had got the exact League Cup tie I wanted just before the game, I thought that would be the only thing that went right for me today. Lets just hope now its not another 2 years until our next win in London, as it has been with our last 3! Try and get some kind of streak going in our next trip to the capital. Bring on Arsenal in 2 months!

Fans Match Report By Eggs

That was brilliant.

At the time, I thought Killer deserved to walk, but after watching MOTD and their totally one sided highlights show!! (Spurs had 2 attempts on target we had one apparently? Final score 0-2???) His first booking was never a foul let alone a card. I'll give Halsey the benefit of the doubt given his view of it. Anyway! Enough of our smiling assassin, more about the ten men who went on to win a very good victory.

I was pleased to hear Moyesy played one up front away from home anyway. I believe AJ will get goals in this role. In fact, I believe he would get goals if he played in goal! This will allow Timbo a bit more freedom to arrive late, as he did so often two seasons ago when Bent was ploughing the lone furrow and as he did Wednesday at Blackburn. The boys had so much more of the play second half, as was confirmed by my Tottenham mate after the game. Ozzy has Fred Astairs' feet. So to does Mickey Arteta. Clunk looks so much more comfortable in goal than Dickie and Joey and George Berry's love child looked tight at the back. All in all, a very good days work boys.

As has been mentioned in various quarters, we do have a little strength in depth. As proved by the fact Hibbo is out and Barry Chuckle slots in nicely. So to does Z-Carsley into Mr Chuckles spot! Wobbly head is not the greatest cover for young Nuno I'm afraid, but then there are not many left backs available apart from that fella at Arsenal who just got married to that ever so sexy Tweedy girl!! 2 million plus Davies should sway that one if the Malbranque thing fails?

Ok then! Bring on our beloved neighbours, who's famous Spion Kop was 100 today you know? So feckin what! If that dump was 100 today, what was there for the 28 years or so before that? Answers on a post card to. Ah well. Back to North London. I wasn't there for the last league victory over Spurs when Linx scored, but I was when he knocked them out of the cup that year. We have I believe a very good if not better number 8 now... Oh Andy is out King! Oh Andy is our King! Oh Andy is our King! All the best. E. Eggs. (Not so concerned of Churchtown boy). (30/08/06)

Moyesy says: It’s hard enough against Tottenham at the best of times and I had seen them play really well in midweek. I was concerned about coming here but we put a marker down today, probably even more so with ten men. I thought we kept the ball and passed it well. Obviously we had to retreat deep at times because they had the extra man but overall we were excellent. We deserved to win today.

I keep saying we’ve got 15 or 16 players who can come in and play well and it’s not just about the players today, it’s about all of them who have got us seven points from the opening three games,” he said. I have emphasised that to the players." (27/08/06)

Tottenham midfielder Edgar Davids says: "The way that Everton played in the second half was the way we should play. It was looking like it was the other way round, like they had 11 men. They played well. They moved without the ball very well, they played as a good team, we only started pressing them 10 minutes before the end."

Tottenham coach Martin Jol says: "After the sending-off you got the feeling that it could be easier than you thought, but I always knew that it could be difficult. Everton looked a very good team even when they were playing with 10 men. You need all the creativity and quality to score and that's what they did. We had a couple of chances but it wasn't enough. It was one of those poxy little days in England."

What did you think of the match?  Did Moyesy get his team selection and tactics right?  e-mail info@bluekipper.com after the game.

* Moyesy must surely get the credit for this stunning win, the tactical blunders of last season are long forgotten after this crafted and well thought out team performance. And if I was Biffa, I would be thinking "Sh*t, Id better pull my socks up or splinters will be permanently in my arse!" Great win lads, keep it up and lets have 10 points after 4 games ;-) Paul from Bromley (yes a London blue!!)

* Everyones talking about Johnson after his display against spurs and he's looking the type of striker we've been crying out for donkeys years. Though Moyes' other signings were very solid against spurs and it would be nice if Mr Ferguson would sell us Tim when his loan ends. He already speaks Stubsys language! (Mozaroo)

* Well done boys! Ten men, Spurs away from home! Nothing more to say. (Straks)

* It was one the best games I watched for long long time A1 team effort, I could not believe the blues were down to 10 men, AJ GOAL was brilliant, we are 7 points ahead of last season.cant wait for the derby game. (blue41)

* I'm shocked that Kilbane got sent off, but I'm disappointed that he is getting a game. He was stupid in that game, he knew he wasn't catching up to Y.P.Lee so why slide when Naysmith had it covered, Stupid sending off. But i see it as a good thing, because i don't think he can play in the derby can he? Keep up the good work lads, im on it everyday. (Ben Smith, Wallasey)

* The Everton fans singing: " We've only got 10 men."

* Cahill's boot came off, he threw it to the bench and carried on playing. The crowd started singing "One Boot! He's only got one boot!'

Expect Nuno back in the fold today in a re-jigged defence with Roger partnering Joey as Stubbsey has not recovered in time from of hamstring problems. Moyesy's poser is does he go to a five man midfield with AJ up front on his tod, or stick with Biffa, who as we know is not firing on all cylinders at the moment. Me thinks he may take the bull by the horns, and stick Faddy with AJ. Moyesy has not played any out and out wide men so far this season, so speed may be the essence up front today. Don't be suprised then to see Faddy getting an outing at a ground were he has scored before.

Its 20 odd years since the lads lasted tasted triumph at White Arse Lane, when Gary Lineker helped us to all the points, but if we have any aspirations of European football a point today would surely tell us we are heading in the right direction. We are certainly due something of the North Londoners as the bastards have done the double over us in the past two seasons, so fingers crossed today is the day we get twenty years on nothing out of our system. (26/08/06)

Moyesy says: "Nuno Valente and David Weir will be back in the squad. Tony Hibbert is much nearer to full fitness and the only injury doubt is Alan Stubbs. I think we can do even better than we've done because I've seen them play and I know what they are capable of. We want to be pushing as much as we can.

"Tim Cahill has everything you want in an attacking midfielder at the very top, but there are things that can be improved. He was left on the bench at Blackburn, and it certainly fired him up. Being left out fired me up as a player, and it will be the same for Tim. But the reason is that there is a World Cup hangover with lots of players, and we have enough players to rotate our squad. Nobody has a right to be in the starting line-up, and he certainly showed he could score and play well when he came on at Blackburn.

As with every club, if you work hard, train hard and produce the performances you will be rewarded. But we have three games in a week with some lads still with a World Cup hangover and lack of sharpness, that is why we need to rotate. Last season we got three points from the first two games, this time it is four from the same. It's only a small difference, but small differences can mean a lot by the end of the season. What I am looking for is the same level of points gained from the first nine matches, then you can judge and then you know you have started well.

We have been given a pretty tough start, from our first four games, three are teams who finished in the top six last season, Blackburn, Spurs and Liverpool. So to have started well, unbeaten, with four points from two games is pleasing. We are going in the right direction. But this one at Spurs is a real test. I saw them play against Sheffield United on Tuesday and they were excellent. They've brought in a lot of new players but it was the old ones who impressed me.

Robbie Keane still makes them tick, young Aaron Lennon has impressed me already and was always a threat while Jermain Defoe played well. And of the new lads, Dimitar Berbatov was a real handful. They gave us a really hard time last season and I expect no less this time. They are one of the teams in the second tier in the Premiership who believe they can crack the big four, and they have signed a lot of players.

It has cost them a lot and is something we could not do here, but we do have those same aspirations. The amount of players brought in has been phenomenal and they could well make that jump, but we have to try to do it a slightly different way although we have signed a few ourselves. So far so good. What has pleased me is the points we have achieved, we could not afford to start badly. I am hoping for more and better performances, but the results at the moment are all important."

Everton from: Howard, Wright, Neville, Stubbs, Yobo, Weir, Valente, Pistone, Davies, Carsley, Cahill, Arteta, Johnson, Beattie, Anichebe, Van Der Meyde, Lescott, McFadden, Kilbane, Naysmith, Osman.

Lavo's Eleven To Start: Howard, Neville, Yobo, Lescott, Valente, Cahill, Osman, Arteta, Carsley, McFadden, Johnson

IF ANY EVERTON FAN WANTS TO WRITE A REPORT OF ANY OF THIS SEASON'S GAMES, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO. JUST E-MAIL IT TO info@bluekipper.com AND WE WILL PUT IT ON THE SITE.

Spurs have doubts over midfielder Jermaine Jenas, who has a toe injury, and striker the classy looking Dimitar Berbatov, who has an ankle problem. Captain Ledley King is still sidelined after surgery to cure a knee problem. Arch nemesis Robbie Keane is fit however, so it would be handy if Roger or Joey could tell him early on, that he is in a game today.

Spurs have had an erratic start, getting turned over at notloB, then a 2-0 home win over new boys Sheffield United got their season on its way.

Spurs from: Robinson, Cerny, Lee, Assou-Ekotto, Dawson, Davenport, Huddlestone, Gardner, Lennon, Jenas, Murphy, Zokora, Tainio, Davids, Keane, Defoe, Berbatov, Ziegler.

Last Season: Spurs 2 EVERTON 0