CATCH TWO FALLEN STARS
By
Mickey Blue Eyes

See many pinkies last week? Take much piss out of the worst of them? Yes, of course you did. You did your duty in the wake of a well-earned 3-0 malleting of the analfielders. Well done. From here on in all you need to do is smile graciously at them until the return derby. It drives them up the wall, across the ceiling, down the other wall and on the same route for as long as you can keep it up. But let’s move on, giggling.

Kevin Kilbane. Now there’s a name to set tongues wagging. Emile Heskey. There’s another. And now they play for Saturday’s opponents, Wigan Athletic. Both of them, it seems, generate more fans’ heat and expletives than the rest of the Prem’s players placed end to end. I have never understood why, except to say some players seem fated to draw the kind of attention you wouldn’t let a pit bull terrier visit on a chained-up street moggy. It isn’t as though either man suffers from the kind of nasty playing personality of, say, a Roy Keane or Graeme Souness or the ineffable Craig Bellamy. Quite the opposite. Both of them appear to be modest young men with good manners and a realistic understanding of their playing abilities. Perhaps it’s their apparent vulnerability and ordinariness that attracts barrackers and outright loonies in lynch-mob droves. Me, amongst other things I wanted to see how they performed and dealt with the situation at the Old Lady.

In my eyes for a time Kevin Kilbane turned out to be an inspired signing by David Moyes. When I first heard of it I groaned as loudly as everybody else. Like everybody else I was wildly wrong. During his first season it was invigorating to see him move forward and take on back-pedalling full backs and invariably go around them or get in a first rate cross. At the time he was needed badly. Then, like the rest of the team, he faded – no better but certainly no worse. After which he became a target for adolescent boo-boys searching for a new target after Unsy moved on. Moreover, Moyesy obviously asked him to play deeper and do more defending, something he wasn’t particularly good at, though like all solid professionals he did his level best to provide security in midfield numbers. It was typical of your average fan’s unthinking hypocrisy that when he transferred out the same people who attacked him suddenly started whimpering about lack of cover at wide left mid. Something had to rush in to fill the vacuum between their ears.

Emile Heskey was a different kettle of barracking altogether. Somehow he never fulfilled his youthful promise combination of goal threat and great upper body strength. In the end clumsiness overwhelmed capability at club and international level. Media and fans were merciless in their treatment of him, one of English football’s more shameful moments – every bit as bad as the appalling attacks on David Beckham after his World Cup sending-off against Argentina. Being black and playing for our lovable neighbours also attracted the miserable racist attention of our very own low-life species of north Liverpool inferiority-complex BNP nazis or their equivalent. Maybe they couldn’t forgive him for scoring some goals against us, lumbering or not.

So they both ended up at Wigan. I really mean no disrespect to the Pie Eaters when I say it is universally perceived as a step down when you move to a town where rugby (or “wrestling-on-wheels” as it’s known to all true footy fans) is plainly the first sporting interest. That they are in the Premiership at all is a tribute to their determination, organisation and ambition; last season’s well-earned success is an even greater tribute. But nobody seriously expects them to keep it up, perhaps not even themselves. They are the north’s version of Wimbledon of pre-MK Dons infamy, but without the Vinny Jones and GBH Syndrome. Not that that stopped them from surprising everyone including us during our spineless opening spell last season. Nor was it a fluke. They played to their strengths in the same way we did when we finished fourth and the way Tottenham did, also last season. Good luck to them all. For Wigan the big question remains whether they can maintain their first-season impetus.

Before Saturday’s game we were third and the Pie Eaters were thirteenth. Given the beloved game’s magnificent capriciousness, pre-season none of us would have been surprised to see the positions reversed. Many of us are still pinching ourselves the way we did when it looked as though we were going to finish fourth. But this is way ahead of the story. There is still a long, long way to go yet. As always there will be many twists and turns in the season, most of them of the unexpected kind. Best not to get carried away.

At any rate Saturday’s match was mostly the usual sort of anticlimax you get in the wake of previous match melodramatics. We should have won it handily but didn’t. And it’s no coincidence we leaked a couple only after Lee Carsley went off injured. His central defensive understanding with Joey and Joleon (sounds more and more like a rap duo) assumes more importance as the season progresses. Since he’s thirty-two going on thirty-three we can assume Moyesy is looking at a long term target replacement. Until then we better pray he doesn’t get injured too often, or age begins to tell on his battle-scarred legs.

The first half was a scatty, tired affair livened only by the Pie Eaters’ number 16 kicking of Mikky at every available opportunity while he was wide left. Then Mikky sometimes started going down even before a tackle got delivered and it all got very niggly. From there on in you have to say Wigan looked more and more like a reasonably talented ale-house team and nothing more. Like Watford they were big and strong and didn’t mind kicking straight through an opponent to get the ball. After a while we started doing the same thing and thus the game achieved a sort of uneasy equilibrium during a totally forgettable first half. The only exception to this was a tussle in the penalty area between their ex-pinky ‘keeper (hounded throughout the half be a vengeful Street End) and Tim Cahill. Their ‘keeper got booked, implying it was something he said to the referee – had it been anything else it must have been a penalty and an early bath. Like everybody else I’ve virtually given up trying to interpret contemporary referees and their inconsistent actions. There’s no point. Neighbour Stevie said, “I’m sure they must have introduced new laws of the game while we weren’t looking.” How true.

Still, there were a few other moments in the half. Andrew (don’t call me Andy) Johnson panicked their centre back before only half hitting a shot and Mikky smacked in a few free kicks that had their defence showing white eyed apprehension but none of it was convincing.

The second half was much better. We suddenly upped the tempo and Wigan were plainly on the collar for much of it. Mikky had switched wide right and was causing just as much mayhem there as he did on the other wing. As always, defenders crowded around him in edgy little groups but this time nobody was kicking him, largely because they simply couldn’t get near him to carry out the assault or he released the ball a little earlier. His free kicks and crosses can be absolutely mesmerising, so much so the crowd have come to expect something from them almost every time he shapes to deliver one or the other. When he does opt to dribble you sometimes feel sorry for the poor dope on the receiving end. Yes, he’s that good.
The half had only just started when Tim diddled and robbed a defender wide left, closed in along the goal line and stuck a ground cross in that disappeared into a mound of bodies and bobbled just right for said Andrew J to bury it without ceremony. His fifth goal. Say it again until you believe it. It’s still only mid September.

Occasionally the Pie Eaters broke away down the left where Kevin Kilbane was having an interesting duel with Tony Hibbert but that was about the limit of their efforts. For most of the game Emile Heskey looked a sad and forlorn sight capable only of fractious entanglements. Up to then the Two Joeys were impregnable.

Meanwhile we looked likely to score again at any moment as we flooded forward. Leon hit two tremendous shots, one saved equally well by the ex-pinky and the other straight into a defender, knocking him off his feet. AJ got clear on the right, acute angle and beat both the ‘keeper and the far post by a whisker. Then Lee Carsley went off injured after an hour and our central defence suddenly turned to shit order. Three minutes later Wigan equalised with their first real effort – even then a hasty clearance rebounded off an elbow before Kilbane got in one of his excellent crosses to a scandalously unmarked Pie Eater and a splendid header left Tim Howard grasping fresh air.

Straight away we went down the other end and Leon got bowled over from behind in the box. Penalty. Sub James Beattie blasted the spot kick almost through the net to put us back in front. If only he could show such concentration and strength for longer periods………………..but we were back in front and that’s all that mattered. Well, for all of two minutes, anyway. Another Pie Eater move down their left, a couple of passes, and the same guy, again unmarked dead centre, turned and made a half-hit shot low into the left corner. Both their goals were well taken but the Two Joeys were AWOL for both, so the gifted young men still have a bit of understanding to make up. Inevitable, I suppose, but irritating as fuck and I bet more for them than for us.

We should have won this to go top, even if it would have been for just a couple of hours. How playing fortunes can turn on a single moment of elbow-rebound entropy! It wasn’t to be though and you have to be philosophical about it. After all, few of us, me included, expected us to be at the top this season. Now if we’re still there come the end of October we can start getting excited again. We’ll see.

So the two “fallen” stars came and went with a point. That’s football life. Given what both men have been through I can’t help but wish them both good luck. Except when they play us of course.

Moyesy says: "I am disappointed not to take all three points but if you look at the bigger picture with three wins and two draws from five games then we've got to be pleased with that. There were opportunities there for us to do it and we should have seen the game out and but for some mistakes we would have done.

The most galling part of it was that I didnt think Wigan had too many opportunties all day. What they got came from our mistakes. It shouldn't have happened and I wont allow it to happen because we've got enough players. The goalkeeper made two really good saves and if we had gone two goals ahead then we'd have been able to control it better. I thought we were going to control it at 1-0 and again at 2-1 and we should have done. But we kept going right to the end."

What did you think of the match?  Did Moyesy get his team selection and tactics right?  e-mail info@bluekipper.com after the game.

* Well, it goes without saying that one or two us will point the finger at Moyesy for his team selection and substitutions, but my view is there wasn't a lot wrong with the team that flattened the RS so why change it ? That said, the loss of Carsley was significant as he was having another influential game in midfield. I say give Wigan credit as they could have folded after the first goal but kept motoring forward. Hes key turned in the sort of performance we know he's capable of, but rarely see ,and gave the two Joeys no end of trouble .Scharner scoring two goals is no fluke- he is a very useful asset for Wigan and importantly gets goals.
We have a much better look about us this year, and whilst AJ rightfully takes the plaudits for this hard work and goal return, the midfield are proving a nice balance of tenacity (Carsley, Neville) and skill (Osman, Arteta) and of course in Cahill we have both. The new central defence is very promising and our full backs have started well also.
Let's just hope that the astute Mr Moyes gets the boys fully focused for Newcastle next week, a ground which has offered us little reward over recent seasons. I am sure he will work his magic on the training ground and look forward to a performance on a par with the Tottenham game. I think a run out for Wright, Weir, Van Der Meyde, Anichebe and even Vaughany at Posh would be a good idea ? COYB. White rose blue.

* Disappointed that we let them back into the game twice, but still a good start to the season. I do think it's time Nuno came back into the side as Nace is a bit too slow and his passing isn't great. Lescott stood out today, very cool under pressure. The ref was useless - booking Neville for his first foul and yet only booking Boyce and Emily Heskey after they'd committed 3 or 4 fouls each. How Jewell can claim that the ref was biased against his side just shows how blinkered his view of the match was - numpty. As for their fans - couldn't be bothered to travel the 20 miles down the road - there might have been 1000 of them there - they are a joke. We need to take the game to the bar codes next week and not be too defensive, give a right stuffing. Come on the Blues! Gar Mortimer.

* Ball booted high out of play and came down in the boxes infront of the main stand. This fella caught it, and saluted the crowd.

You can't change a winning team, but we expect Moyesy to do a little tinkering. McFadden and Stubbs are definitely out.

Everton from: Howard, Wright, Hibbert, Weir, Yobo, Lescott, Valente, Naysmith, Neville, Carsley, Davies, Cahill, Osman, Arteta, Van der Meyde, Johnson, Beattie, Anichebe.

Kipper's Eleven To Start: Howard, Hibbert, Yobo, Lescott, Valente, Osman, Neville, Cahill, Arteta, Johnson, Beattie.

Moyesy says: "We have got an important game against Wigan coming up and we want to keep our position in the top half of the table. As well as we played last Saturday, all we gained was three points. That was great but we have got to move on and maintain our concentration. It has been a great opening and the players have done all I asked of them when we were away in America. They have responded to the challenge tremendously well. When you think of the quality of the opposition we have faced, it is all the more encouraging."

IF ANY EVERTON FAN WANTS TO WRITE A REPORT OF ANY OF THIS SEASON'S GAMES, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO. JUST E-MAIL IT TO info@bluekipper.com AND WE WILL PUT IT ON THE SITE.

Lavo's Bet:  Only one out last week with Andy Johnno. Tiny scoring that first goal cost me a tidy package with Mr William Hill, do I care, do I fuck, some moments are worth more than any win at the bookies, and that was definetely one of them.

This week, its gets a bit boring sticking with AJ, but in the form he is in its hard not to. Me thinks however that Biffa will get on the pitch at some point so stick your fiver on the Biff coming up trumps with the last goal at 6/1. Rememeber to have your fiver retainer on AJ for the first goal at a measly 7/2. Thats what happens with the price when your a striker in form, so lets hope the price continues to slump. (15/09/06)

Killa says: "It was good to come back (on Saturday) and say my goodbyes because I hadn't had the chance before. The lads played really well and deserved the win. I am sure they are going to continue in that vein for the rest of the season - just not next week! I am looking forward to the game - it is strange my debut is going to be here. One or two of the lads have given me a bit of stick about what to expect after the derby, but we'll see how things go." (14/09/06)

Jewell says: "It was always going to be difficult being up against an established club like Everton. I think it was only the tradition of Everton that swayed him. He was impressed with us, but I understand his reasons for not coming here. Everton have won championships and cups, have 40,000 people at Goodison Park every other week, while we are still a brand new Premiership club. Our defenders won't be getting a second of rest because one of his biggest assets is his phenomenal work rate. Andy Johnson is a top player." (14/09/06)

Everton 0 Wigan 1 - Last Season