Have you ever met someone on your jolly's and talked about meeting up but it's never quite happened? Well 15 years after Sausage met the old CJ in Ibiza we got the invite down to join him and his friends in The Emirates to watch The Toffees take on The Arse. In that time, the old CJ's youngest, Rob, has joined us at Goodison and we have been to Highbury and The Emirates but not at the invitation of the old CJ. So what says you? Well, the old CJ only has a box at The Emirates, a box, a fuckin' box!

Sausage, Kipper, Lavo and the G-Man were suited and booted and about to make their debut in a box! Suited and booted was right, we decided to make weekend of it and stopped over in a cheap and cheerful and had got changed on the way via the Tube. We looked a right set of twats stood outside The Drayton Arms with all the Toffeemen who were properly dressed as we supped the Cockney Kronenburg outside in the early morning sun. We looked like we'd come straight from the Old Bailey as the biggest limo you've ever seen pulled up, a dozen Toffeemen fell out, cans in hand singin' 'Let's go fuckin' mental'. We were keen to stay but the lure of the stadium and the box was too much.

For or against a new stadium, you cannot fail to be impressed by The Emirates Stadium, it is magnificent, however the jinx of new stadium no success seems to be haunting Arsenal just like all the others! We skipped the food and just went on the lash, 'eatin's cheating', so it was a quick stroll through the box and into the seats outside after a quick hello and 'thanks for beatin the shite' to Eddie Kelly and Charlie George. We were still buzzin' after the Wigan result at Villa and once the Arse team was announced we were even more confident that fifth place was there for the taking as today Matthew, we were almost playing the Arse reserves.

The Toffees on the other hand sprung a major surprise; Moyesy left the Yak on the bench! What's going on? Hibbo was in at right back, no Arteta to be seen (the rumours are rife) and it was five in midfield with AJ up front. The first half was a scrappy affair with both defences coming out on top, if anything we came closest, AJ had an effort stopped by their keepers legs and The Jag had a header from a corner cleared off the line but that was about it, we had plenty of effort, defended well but created very little. Hibbo looked well up for it and was proving a match for World Cup Willy Walcott. Their best effort came from Adebayor but Tim saved with ease, it was looking like a real end of season game and the point we needed was well within our grasp. The Toffeemen at the other end of the ground were making themselves heard as the thought of another European tour lingered in our minds, for a minute we wished we were amongst them until Lavo said that another free beer had arrived!

HALF TIME Arsenal 0 EVERTON 0

Now the second half really was a stroll, we were defending well but creating little, ossy had an appeal for a pen turned down but what's new? (Just one game left to get one), AJ run his socks off but had no support and was no threat. Manny looked again as if he did not want to play for a contract and Peanuts left us wandering why he had got one! In fact it was Peanuts who gave the ball away which led to the goal. The Arse had just brought Leamann on and another young kid Trarore, Peanuts sent a pass astray as we broke out on the left, they switched it to the right where Trarore crossed and Bentner rose above The Jag and Harry Hill to head home at which point, with 12 mins still to go, it looked game over.

We brought the Yak on and Big Vic but we created nothing, we need a massive midfield investment in the summer. The game fizzled out and The Arse took all three points, how disappointing given that they had nothing to play for, Wigan had done us a favour and a result would have meant party time next week against Newcastle but the Toffeemen never do things the easy way, as we say The Toffeemen never let you down, just like the old CJ. Thankyou. We staggered out of The Emirates and into the Smoke, the journey home on Monday was a long one! The Blue Kipper Star Man went to Hibbo, all the defence played well but he was exceptional today. Let's hope the defence go one better next week and that we get the clean sheet we need. COYB FTRS

FULL TIME Arsenal 1 EVERTON 0

Sausage Reports From The Emirates

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