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BARCLAYS PREMIERSHIP / Sat 24th Nov 2007 / Kick
Off: 3.00pm (Saturday at 3pm, What a Rarity)
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EVERTON |
7 (Seven) |
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Sunderland |
Everton: Howard, Neville, Lescott, Yobo, Valente, Arteta, Carsley, Cahill, Osman, Pienaar, Yakubu.
Bench: Jagielka, Gravesen, Anichebe, Johnson, Wessels
Referee: Phil Dowddy
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Two weeks after a great result away at Chelski we returned to Goodison to welcome Roy Keane and The Black Cats. Moyesy had the joy of a fully fit outfield squad and as a result some of the boys would have to sit in the stands checking their nads for today we were promoting Male Testicular Cancer Awareness. A fully fit squad meant that on the bench also checking their goolies were Big Vic, AJ, Tommy, The Jag and Keppler. What a bench and a sign that things are looking good. We were going into this one unbeaten in six since ball bag Clattenburg robbed us against the shite (what a scrotum he is) and we were looking for our sixth win in seven games. The Mackem’s were expected to be no easy push over, managed by the World Cup bottler they are expected to stay up by digging in deep, proving hard to beat and grinding out results, so today if you thought it was going to be easy you were nuts. As it turned out, those who were taking up a difficult game were talking balls. Moyesy had just the one surprise for us when he named Nuno at left back ahead of Bainsey who was one of those in the stands along with young Vaughany, Jimmy Mac & Stubbsy. This week we had bid a fond farewell to Alan Irvine who took up his new post as PNE boss, had Moyesy dropped a bollock in letting him go? We were soon to find out that this was far from the truth, had Irivine been tactically restrained one over the last five and a half years? Today we went nap. Headlines and mentions of ‘Seventh Heaven’ and ‘Magnificent Seven’ (narf, narf), won’t be seen on this site, but today was simply sublime. We could have had double figures and in fairness Sunderland could and should have had a couple more. For the opponents, in the first half after we went two up, Tim palmed a cross onto the head of Whitehead who headed back across towards an empty net – it looked to be heading in but headed just over the head of Howard and over the headbar. Then in the second half we saw what could be the miss of the season by an aptly named player , given the day, Chopra, with the Park End goal gaping he somehow conjured to put it wide, he later got the curly finger and no doubt a bollicking from Keano. So on to our goalfest, here they are as they came, The Magnificent Seven that put us in Seventh Heaven: GOAL 1 : ( 12Mins The Yak) A long punt up field from Tim was missed by their centre half, The Yak was on it in a flash, as he bore down on goal Higginbottom slid in as he shot, the ball hit the ground and bounced over the most expensive goalie in the Prem and into the net. GOAL 2 : ( 17 Mins Timmy) Now the best little Spaniard we know was having a field day. Having already put Harte on his arse twice he was instrumental in the second. He produced his magic on the right and put in Nev, he crossed from the by-line and found Timmy and the blue kangaroo turned smartly to smash in number two. Each goal was getting better. GOAL 3 : ( 43 Mins Stevie P) This was a belter. Cars, who also had a blinder won the ball on the half way line and fed Nuno, he found Stevie P and the did a neat one-two down the left with Nuno putting the South African in, he steered his shot into the top right hand corner. At this point we were cruising, three up with HT beckoning. Having gone down for the Chang I was ‘half way down the stairs when Yorke pulled one back for the visitors. It was a scrappy one, a cross from the right was palmed away by Tim, he then saved and pushed the shot on to the post, it was played back to the star of the News of the World (different sort of tackle) and he duly obliged . It stopped us getting complacent and also eased the half time rant from Keano who appeared to be going nuts on the bench. HALF TIME Everton 3 Sunderland 1 Now there was a significant moment at HT. Mr Testicles appeared, I kid you not, two bollocks with eyes and on legs, walking around to promote male testicle cancer awareness – seriously lads, you should give your balls a check daily, a few seconds whilst you are in the shower or if you are lucky, like me, get the missus to do it for you. If you feel something unusual (not a stiffy) then go and see you doctor asap. Well done Mr Testicles. GOAL 4 : (62 Mins Timmy) Now this goal was important because if they had scored next we may have got squeaky sphincters but it was clear that the sight of Mr Testicles as they came out of the tunnel had spermed the lads on. The 4th was an assist by Joey, he punted a 60 yards ball up field, Timmy chased and controlled brilliantly, turned the defender and easily beat the keeper. He ran to the corner of the Gwladys Street to do his trademark kangaroo boxing with the corner flag and milked the applause. Rightly so, 5 goals in 7 games since his return is tremendous. GOAL 5 : (73 Mins The Yak) After more magic from our Spanish Magician we had five. Our Tater took a quick corner with Nev, he then cut in and squared to Ossy who shot, the ball bounced around in the area before The Yak turned and put it away, he then ran to the Street to take the adulation – this was without doubt, The Yak’s best game yet, he suddenly has six goals under his belt. At this point Moyesy subbed Timmy & The Yak (for Big Vic & AJ ), Moyesy said was scarred of giving two balls away for hat-tricks, who wouldn’t be scared of giving two balls away on a day like this? GOAL 6 : (80 Mins AJ) What a boost this was for AJ, back on the score sheet on his first game back from injury. Once again it was from a long distance assist, this time from Nev, AJ raced on to it had a touch then just dinked it over the keeper. We thought this was heaven but in number 7 we saved the best until last. GOAL 7 : (85 Mins Ossy) Forget the rest, this was the best. This was George Best, this was Ronaldinho, this was Maradonna. Ossy picks the ball up in his own half, bears down on Gwladys Street, cuts in, beats one, shimmies, beats a second, feints and places it wide of the keeper. Tremendous and sent the place into raptures.
So 7-1 it finished, one of those days when you can say ‘I was there’, best score for 11 years, well done to all concerned. Now we have released the restrictive shackles of Alan Irvine Moyesy has gone mental, he even smiled for the 7th! A great performance, never mind the opposition, it was fantastic to watch. There were many good performances, Nev, Nuno, Joey, Cars, Stevie P, The Magician, Timmy and The Yak in fact the whole team were top drawer today. It is too difficult to pick out any one player as Star Man. Given this, for his half time inspiration, my Blue Kipper Star Man goes to MR TESTICLES for today we were literally the dog’s bollocks! COYB FTRS Full Time Everton 7 Sunderland 1
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| * Haven't we come on a treat since Alan Irvine left. Colin Kirby * Fantastic result. The Yak showed his true quality today. Genuine skill, holding the ball up, good in the air, strong in possession, playing people in, even closing people down and chasing lost causes. But if you expect the running AJ does from him, forget it. Feel the quality not the width. Ala Sheedy! Billy Dean |
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Moyesy says: "It was a terrific team performance and the players really performed at a higher level. Maybe it has been coming, we have seen signs of it coming with some really good goals. I have got to say it was excellent. I always send the players out with goals in mind but it doesn't always work that way when you are a manager. I sensed in training over the last two days they were at it, there has been a good fire in their belly and I had sensed something could be coming. That may be because of the competition of places we have got now. I said to the players in the dressing room after the game the result owed as much to the people in the stand watching them today. All of the players not in the 16 could have easily been in the starting XI today. The goal just before half-time did my team talk for me. It put me on the back foot a little bit and we knew Sunderland were going to go in with a little bit of a lift. I should have been going in telling my players that was fantastic at 3-0 and go on. Instead there was a bit of negativity because we had to be sure we didn't concede a second goal because if we had it would have been game-on. I told the players that but once they got the fourth they really went and rammed it home. This has been threatening. We have played well without not quite getting there but now we have enough people ready to come off the bench to change the way we play. Now we are playing in a way where we get goals. What you have to do when you expose poor positioning is have the ability and courage to go and finish. That is what our players did. Football is all about mixing your play and I thought we scored some great goals. Some great one-twos, good crosses and balls over the top - we scored all different types of goals which is pleasing. We had enough opportunities to score even more. But not at one point did Sunderland give in. They were competing all the way and they never once threw the towel in." Jogger says: "The Yak is a player. I love him." Damon Minchella says: "Fuck me!" Lavo says: "Nuno is a beautiful footballer. The way he caresses the ball." Sausage says: "It's just like watching Brazil." Roy Keane says: "Credit to Everton, they took full advantage of our short-comings I suppose. It is not right just to be critical of the back four, it is all about the team. Even at 5-1 we were still throwing men forward, maybe that was a little naive, that wasn't down to the back four. You have to take your medicine as a whole team, not just the back line. The concern was that every time Everton came forward they looked like scoring. That is not a great ingredient to have." |
* One quality off the ball. Mr Testicles at half time on the pitch with Sharpy. Lets get all the funnies out of the way now, like bet Sharpy felt a right dick, wish I could have a set like that, boom, boom. Well played to Everton for raising the awareness of prostate, bowel and testicular cancer in a funny way for what is a deadly serious subject. For more info on cancer downstairs click here, and lads do what I do ten times an hour, give them a good squeeze, it could save your life one day. (25/11/07) |
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Martin Dobson signing copies of his new novel "Ultimate Goals"
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| * 2-0 nil to the boys with Pienaar and Victor sharing the spoils. Adders of the Park End * 2-0 Blue Boys, goals from our tater and the yak!! COYB. Paul & Matty, Ruislip *
2-2. Sunderland's Kenwayne Jones is top notch
and will score. AJ & The Yak For Us. Bally |
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So life starts without Alan Irvine, and in the short term Moyesy will have no one to turn to to discuss tactics when the heat is on. What Moyesy does have tomorrow however is a fully fit squad for the first time, welcoming back Andy Johnson, Leighton Baines and James Vaughan from injury. Mikky should shake off his own injury and I would fully expect him to start. Hopefully Rogers head won't be to down after the midweek England debacle, as will Jimmy Macs, after Scotland close call against the Italians last weekend. With the threat of Kenwyne Jones up front for Sunderland, me thinks that Stubbsey will be added to the starting line up to help out at the back, with Roger going to right back. Five men in midfield again, seems the only way to play when Tiny is available, and the Yak has done nothing wrong of late up front to step down. So Big Vic, Vaughany, and the returning AJ will all have to wait their turn. The Blues continue their run of five wins and a draw in the last six matches, since Clattenburg and the shite conspired a victory, and if results go our way and we do the business ourselves, a top six berth will be ours. Stubbsey says: "Roy Keane has bought a few players that people may have looked at but not gone for. To be fair the ones he has brought in have come up trumps. Kenwyne Jones has done well of late. He's a big lad and has scored a few goals. Hats off to him, he has tried to add in the right places this year. It is a Premier League club, a big club, and they have probably been deprived of top flight football for too long. The fans have craved it for a long time, especially seeing Newcastle in there. They are back and they are doing okay, they'd probably like to see themselves a bit higher but it is always difficult in the first season back." Kipper's XI To Start: Howard, Baines, Lescott, Stubbs, Yobo, Carsley, Arteta, Cahill, Osman, Neville, Yakubu Everton from: Howard, Hibbert, Yobo, Lescott, Stubbs, Valente, Baines, Arteta, Cahill, Carsley, Osman, Jagielka, Gravesen, Neville, McFadden, Yakubu, Anichebe, Johnson, Vaughan, Pienaar, Wessels. No Corresponding Fixture
IF ANY EVERTON FAN WANTS TO WRITE A REPORT OF ANY OF THIS SEASON'S GAMES, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO SO. JUST E-MAIL IT TO info@bluekipper.com AND WE WILL PUT IT ON THE SITE. |
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* First goal, The Yak at 5/1 who has found his scoring boots at last. The New England manager seems to be the betting hot potato of late, my pick is Ant and Dec, as everything they touch turns to gold. On the subject of England, what is nine inches long and dangles in front of a c*nt, that's right its Steve McClarens tie, boom, boom. (23/11/07) |
| Sunderland are back in the big time, this time with one of football's winners at the helm. Roy Keane brings his relegation threatened squad to Goodison, but a word of warning. In their time in the Premiership over the years, Everton are the team Sunderland have taken most points of out of all the cubs they have opposed. Front man Kenywne Jones is their danger up front, but old timer's Dwight Yorke and Andy Cole are both back in the hunt for a starting places. No real injury worries for Mad Roy, so it should be an interesting afternoon at the Shrine. Roy says: "David Moyes has done a good job there and Everton are the kind of club which could be a blueprint for the way we want to progress at Sunderland. Blackburn are another – a few weeks ago I spoke to Mark Hughes after the game and he said he felt it took him two years to assemble a squad with which he felt comfortable. The Everton's and the Blackburn's are the kind of clubs you have to look at because they have built up very nicely over a period of time and they both now have very strong squads. You know what you are going to get at Everton – their fans are right on top of you. It should be a good atmosphere and it is one we are looking forward to. Everton are a proper football club, just like Sunderland are.They have a lot of history and good, passionate fans who follow their club home and away." Roy on Old Mate Phil Neville says: "I have a lot of time for Phil. It is hard to keep in touch with people in football because life moves on, but I am looking forward to seeing him again. Phil is a very good pro and he has been an excellent signing for Everton. I wouldn’t mind having a few Phil Neville's at this club because he trains well and he is a top pro. I am sure David Moyes will feel the same and that is why Phil is the Everton captain." (23/11/07) Sunderland
From: Gordon, Ward, McShane, Halford, Harte, Higginbotham,
Collins, Yorke, Edwards, Etuhu, Miller, Leadbitter, Wallace, Whitehead,
Kavanagh, O'Donovan, Jones, Chopra, Connolly, Murphy, Stokes, Cole.
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