More Shouts     

400. A few weeks ago when we played Blackburn at home, Rooney was running the show in the 1st half, when David Kopite Thompson tried and failed to clatter him. On his 3rd attempt a shout from the back of the Glwadys street terrace was heard of "Fuck off back to Dr Zeus you fucking Chimp". The stand erupted into laughter. Shortly after this as Thompson was taking a corner, a young boy was spotted in the corner doing an impression of a chimpanzee, which to his eternal credit even Thompson found funny! The fact that the said boy looked more like mental patient may have had something to do with it! A good laugh was had by all! Ted. (06/02/03)

399. I think it was the 1-4 reversal against Villa a few years back, when some frustrated fan ran onto the pitch. After the fuzz dragged him away, the announcer tells us 'he will be barred from Goodison for his stupidity'. Somebody shouts 'Lucky B***ard!"
Everybody shat laughing. Richard Jones. (06/02/03)

398. Chelsea game, lower glad, melchiot clears sum fella stands up an' shouts MEEEEELCHIOTS GOT A SPIDER ON HIS EAD' A SPIDER ON HIS EAD'. Quality. Grannell. (01/02/03)

397. Many years ago Everton v Spurs 10 minutes gone and Glenda Hoddle's taking a free kick in front of the Paddock. He puts his arm up as a signal that he's going to whack it in the box (but in a cultured Hoddle-esque way). Shout from my mate - "You should have dried your nail varnish before you came out." Even Glenda smiled. Rob Guinan. (01/02/03)

396. Park end at the Fulham game, Ferguson surprisingly sitting on the bench. Me dad's mate shouts "f***ing hell, are they gonna stretcher him ON the pitch?" World Class. Richard Jones. (01/02/03)

395. Many moons ago when we used to stand in the Gladys street, i remember a match against a team who played in red and white stripes, can't quite remember who but Southampton comes to mind. Me and me mate were stood in the Gladys Street, opposite corner to the church and just above the alley that swept across the whole of the Street end. About quarter of an hour to kick off this young lad (around twenty) stepped in between me and me mate and said, "You stand here Mummy and you stand here Daddy", sandwiching his parents between us. Me and me mate looked at each other behind their backs and grinned, when at once this lady dressed in Kashmir coat with black handbag over her arm exclaimed, "Oh I say who's playing in the blue". Jh1957. (27/01/03)

394. I was sitting in the Gwladys Street a couple of seasons ago when the Blues were playing Villa at home. It had 0-0 written all over it. Carbone (that long haired tit) went one on one with Gerrard and missed,
a kid next to me who was with his dad and was only about ten stood on his chair and shouted out, ''CARBONE YOU TRANSVESTITE!'', The Gwladys burst out laughing and the young boy got a clout round the ear!!! class!! Great Site lads. BLUE FOREVER (Iwan). (27/01/03)

393. Going back some twenty odd years to 1980 in a game with Spurs which ended in a two all score draw,I was sat in the old Stanley Park End stand and Spurs had a corner late in the game,Glen Hoddle jogged over to take the corner and received a good deal of stick from the Park End.As he was preparing to take the corner the crowd went a bit quiet,and a lone voice from the very back of the stand in the very best scouse accent shouted "F k off Hoddle you lanky legged twat!" The whole stand erupted . Class.RALPH (27/01/03)

392. At the spur's game after a great through ball from the ''chinese beckham'', (which tommy rad slotted ) ,the crowd around us kicked off with (one li tie there's only one lie tie) When it all calmed down some wag shouted is there fu@k there's 360 million of them.......SHORTALLS. (27/01/03)

391. I was at the derby a few years ago at anfield when it was called off cos the kopites had shit themselves and flooded their pitch on purpose. Anyway - over the tannoy, the shite were playing You'll Never Walk Alone. Some fella shouted behind me, "You might be able to walk through a storm but you can't fuckin play through one." blue bell-end. (27/01/03)

390. In the pub after the 4:3 defeat at White Hart Lane. A young Irish blue led us in a, frankly mournful, rendition of "Royal Blue Jersey". He then looked at the Spurs fans sitting by us "Gone on then. Give us "Diamond Lights"!" Tony Lloyd. (27/01/03)

389. At the Joe Parkinson Testimonial match ages ago me, my dad and my uncle where in the family enclosure just by the park end. one of the Man city subs goes down the line and starts stretching. On one of his stretches he stuck his Bum out really far and my uncle blew the biggest raspberry ever even half the park end heard it. Everyone was in tears and it took me half the match to calm down. Gracie. (27/01/03)

388. In the upper bullens a couple off seasons ago. Alexanderson had cocked up again, some fella stands up and shouts ''f**uk off Alexandersson your about as useless as a chocolate fireguard'' Class!!!! Love the site! Mitch . (15/01/03)

387. A long long mini Derby ago, a mate of mine was standing in the Gwladys St when the ball goes out for a corner. Mick Lyons stands at the near post. " Fuck off empty ead!" shouts a fan, red or blue, who knows? An instant reply comes back, "Why don't you fuck off??". To which finally we hear, " Why don't we aaaaall fuck off???" To the cheers of most of the street end!
Hedley Lamar. (15/01/03)

386. Last season at old trafford, and veron scored his first goal, and ran the game! some fella behind me said "i hate veron", stands up and shouts out "veron u itailian bastard". me & my old man look at each other and said "thick twat!!!"
Graham. (15/01/03)

385. Manc Shitty game and little lad is away at a party - 90 minutes of football without a string of questions about the score, how long to go to half time, how much are the pizza slices etc? The empty seat next to me is taken by one our new Chinese supporters (introduces himself as Li Tie's brother?) He then spends the entire game asking questions - in the interest of valuing diversity and encouraging support (and income) for the Club I answer all his questions. It was a bit tricky explaining how the offside trap works and who Sharpy is and why he was on the pitch at half time! Everyone sat around was glad they'd not got my seat but seemed amused with his questions and the answers I was politely given without a hint of sarcasim! Then, the killer question when The Duke got booked. "Is Rooney English?" "No", I replied "he's a Scouser". "A Scouser ....... where is that?" Great site.
JC. (04/01/03)

384. I was at the Brum match boxing day, when the Brummie ball boy tried three times to throw or kick the ball over the net back to Richard Wright, and failed miserably. Some genius pipes up with "Even their ball boys are shit !". Class.
Andrew Lee. (04/01/03)

383. Against notloB, Saturday, Lower Gwladys Street End, Alexandersson n Pembo were stood waiting to come on...one fella a few rows behind me shouts (as Alexandersson was taking his coat off).. "Ere Alexandersson, get that f**king coat back on and finish the tape!!" Raised a few laughs, I found it hilarious! Toffee Man Dan. (04/01/03)

382. At the Bolton game (28th Dec) In the Upper Gwladys, Ivan Campo just kicked the ball out for them and a lad behind asks his dad if Bolton had a Chinese player playing for them too. His dad just replied "No, he's just ugly son." Lazy_arse_blue. (04/01/03)

381. 1989 FA Cup away to Barnsley..Everton were winning one-nil, and Barnsley had a controversial offside given against them.This lad behind me and me 'arl feller shouts, in a broad Yorkshire accent.."Eyoop linesman, you fucking useless, bald headed, bandy legged bastard, stick that fucking flag up your arse, you wanker ."On hearing this, me 'arl feller turns to me and says "I see the reporter from the Times is here, then...".Everyone around us fell about laughing. Love the site, lads.
Andrew Hill. (04/01/03)

380. Watching the Derby game in a Sheffield alehouse with the wife and Daughter with her Rooney top on some yorkie puddins started shouting da roon da roon da roon is on fire good one i thought.Regards Tony. (04/01/03)

379. At the shithole on Sunday, I was sitting in our end, right next to the red shite fans. We had a chance and they started givin' us loads of stick. Some prick started shouting at us, doing the scousers "calm down" thing to us !!! ( yes a LIVERPOOL fan was doing the scousers thing to us....enough said! )and he was in the Liverpool end. Its not really a shout, but I was pissing myself for ages and it just proves that kopites are cockneys, Norwegians, Dubliners, sheepshaggers, etc. JOHNO. (27/12/02)

378. me bruvvers mate was sittin in the redshite end and wanted to know where the centenary stand was so he asked this red where it was. He said 'well there's the kop' pointing to a shitty looking building and me bruvvers mate goes, 'i know that's the kop i can smell it' ToffeeRach. (27/12/02)

377. Rooney heads over against Blackburn. Voice in the the crowd goes "get him off he's crap. Is Ashley Ward still available. bobby davro. (27/12/02)

376. At the chelsea game on 7th dec 02, we were all in the main stand,as zola was giving his usual moans to the ref ar mate Nicky LaLa, shouted "fuk off Mr Ed" (those you don't know was a talkin horse on the telly) got some gud laughs.
Albie Ball.(no relation to 2 r genius) (27/12/02)

375. at the Birmingham match and savage was doing my head in the long haired welsh twat then a guy who sits 5 row behind me who was more pissed off than me shouts "Ref just break /the little cunts legs please." Classic. from Park end Macca. (27/12/02)

374. Tottenham game this season when a bloke behind me shouts 'take li tie off', his mate sez ' he's gone off' to which this bloke replied 'then take him off again!' djsimonp's dad. (27/12/02)

373. At the Everton v west brom match November 23 2002. We sat in front of a very loud young boy , who kept shouting at the ref "look the ref's got fat ears and looks like that Ricky Gervis off the telly. He kept us entertained all afternoon.
Caroline. Telford. (23/12/02)

372. Leaving Goodison after the Blackburn game, a seriously stressed street seller was surrounded by a massive crowd of supporters all trying to buy his "Roonaldo" posters. The poor guy couldn't cope - he couldn't roll the posters up quick enough to meet demand and he was fast running out of pockets to stuff his money into. Recalling a somewhat less hectic time he'd had with a previous poster, he said, "Come back Alan Biley, all is forgiven." Regards, Joe The Bookie. (23/12/02)

371. game earlier this season ball out of play while opposition player is injured. Grav and Carsley are talking and tehn both walk towards Hibbo, the only thing they could have possibly said to Hibbo (as pointed out by the guy next to me) is "dya wana be in our gang? all ya have to do is shave ur head and ur in.." Stephen Algeo. (23/12/02)

370. Then the Tottenham game this season when a bloke behind me shouts 'take li tie off', his mate sez ' he's gone off' to which this bloke replied 'then take him off again!' from djsimonp's dad. (21/12/02)

369. I was in the Upper Gwladys for the Chelsea game on Saturday. Mario ' i'm gonna get Hibbert sent off ' Stanic was diving all over the place. Anyway, Tony takes him down and he was rolling around like he had been shot. After all the shouts of ' get up you soft git ' had died down, there was a lul. In the broadest Scouse accent I' ve ever heard the guy behind me bellows ' gerrr up ya taaaart ! '. Everyone heard. Everyone laughed. Cheers. Joe Simpson, 15, County Durham. (21/12/02)

368. Playing Chelsea at home, 2-0 down after half an hour and we're getting restless in the Upper Bullens. Graveson was having his normal headless chicken game. He had a shot at goal that goes just wide and the Gwladys Street started chanting his name. As he's running back into the centre circle he puts his hands up and claps back to the fans. Bloke behind me shouts out "Somebody throw the cunt a fish". That even got some of the old dears in the Upper Bullens laughing.
Phil Armand, Upper Bullens Season Ticket holder. (21/12/02)

367. During the first half of the Chelsea match (7th December 2002), when Marcel Desailly lifted the leg of his shorts to show the referee the mark of an injury allegedly received from a challenge by an Everton player, someone near me in the Upper Bullens shouted: "Oi! Desailly, don't show too much of your thigh when Le Saux's around!" Schoolofscience. (21/12/02)

366. I was outside the parkend at the chelsea match wtachin the players arive and weir, gemmil and naysmith had just drove in and were signin autographs.while they were signin pistone pilled up and this kid shouted "oh no heres the spice boy" couple of the people around started laughin and even Gary Naysmith was in bulk laughin. From Stan the Man. (15/12/02)

365. Last sturday i went to da game against WBA an da ref was crap all game an he
just done another bad decision an some lad next to us shout "oy Winter your
a f**kin waste of sponk you are"!! we wer all pissin areselfs! The Lathams. (15/12/02)

364. Old Trafford, Feb 28 1987 - a (no doubt cockney) Red keels over in the prawn sandwich section above the away end, St Johns in attendance etc., some Royal Blue quips “’As ‘e died yet?” Micky Blue Eyes the (ex-pat) Cockney Blue. (15/12/02)

363. At one point in the Chelsea match (7th December 2002), when Everton's midfield wasn't quite getting things together, someone near me in the Upper Bullens shouted: "Come on Gravesen and Li Tie, you're not speaking the same language!" School of Science.(15/12/02)

362. Just before the 95 semi final kicked off, Ian Walker made his way towards the Evertonians and acknowledged the mandatory excellent reception given to opposition goalkeepers by the Evertonians. As the noise died down, Walker proceeded to place his towel, water bottle, brylcreem etc etc behind the goal. At this point my cousin stands up and shouts “Ay Walker!! If you see your
arl fella …… tell him to FUCK OFF!!!" This together with the Amokachi banner draped over the M62 bridge just outside Leeds were the highlights of a great day. Grinno. (13/12/02)

361. I was sitting in the family enclosure a few seasons back. We where playing leeds. Michael Ball was taking a throw in and big dunc and hassle bank where tussling for the ball. hassle bank puts the ball out for another throw. Dunc's behind him this was the first time id ever heard dunc's voice. "Hey you hey you" hasslebank glances over his shoulder. "you ever show your studs to me again and ill fucking kill ya!!!" hasslebank then decided he would take up a better position some where else on the pitch !!! class
Oscarblue. (13/12/02)

360. Just before the Kendall glory years began, Gary Stanley was not having the best of times of it at Goodison. I was in Goodison Road in a smallish crowd and Stanley was having a nightmare. The crowd was on his back and he deserved it. The ball came out for a throw-in near where I was standing and Stan came over to take it. The guy next to me shouted out: "Hey Stan. I backed youse to score the first goal." Stan visibly glowed with delight until, with perfect timing, the fan shouted: "Yeah, I got 2000 to 1".
Fernsy, Blue in New York. (09/12/02)

359. About 10 years ago when Preki (Pedrag Radosavlevic) was playing, so bloke shouts out "What the fuck does Preki mean ?". A joker then stands up and shouts "It's Yugoslav for Shite !" Priceless !!! Nich. (09/12/02)

358. This was back in the late sixties in the Paddock. The ref makes a stupid decision, someone in the crowd shouts out "You soft twat, ref, I could do better if I was blind". A copper (walking past on patrol around the edge of the pitch), shouts back "That can be arranged." - oh happy days! Mark. (09/12/02)

357. One for all youz New Labour fans. Home vs Coventry 85/86, The (sadly missed) Paddock (where once, in my lifetime, you could watch top quality and buy a programme for less than a fiver) - “I haven’t laughed so much since the Brighton bomb”.
Micky Blue Eyes the (ex-pat) Cockney Blue. (09/12/02)

356. I was sat in the Gwladys street against Arsenal this season an when seaman was in at dat end some fella behind us shouted "hey seaman giz me wifes bobble back" seaman started laughin anthen the fella kept sayin it for bout 5 minutes and seaman was just laughin an sayin no then the fella said "hey seaman i want me wifes bobble back ders been murder at are place over it" We were pure pissin are selfs!! The Lathams. (09/12/02)

355. At the West Brom game this season the West Brom fans originally taunted the Park End with "shall we sing a song for you?". Some bloke in front of us came back with " as long as its not one by bloody Slade". Classic. Legend (02/12/02)

354. After the West Brom game this season some fella in the pub on the sat night after watching the footy on ITV shouted What a bargain £24 quid for a ticket £10 for a hat £2.50 for a programme but watching the kopites faces when that twat jerzy dropped another bollock against fulham PRICELESS, the pub was in uproar. Well done lads so far lets finish above the kopite shite, I bet every EVERTONIAN agrees with me. john from breck road. (02/12/02)

353. at the birmingham match and savage was gettin away with fuckin everything. could of fucked the tart. Referee was abysmal as per usual. Then stubbs brought down John in the Box and was off (why?). John places a super pen (unlike the one against fulham). next time savage started moaning and bitchin a steward ( yes a steward) shouts fuck off savage ya little slag. proper amazin. turnin point of the game. moir. (02/12/02)

352. In work after the Blackburn win and the shite’s draw against Sunderland, one of the red-shite cock-heads came into the department I work in and started mouthing off about how we’ll end up in the bottom half of the table after Christmas. Me mate turns the topic of conversation to Europe (or lack of it) and how much of a big tit Houllier is, how shit his team is and how they’ll win fuck-all with him. The redshite cock-head turns and says “I didn’t hear you saying that when we won the treble”. Me mate responds “Hang on a minute, Houllier didn’t win the treble, Nose Thompson did.” “Who do you think was pulling the strings in the background?” says the cock-head. Me mate looks at this armchair, piece of shit, arse bandit for a moment and replies “…the fucking surgeons!! Now piss off!” This wasn’t a shout at the match but it had me pissin’ my pants during a hum-drum day on the blackstuff. Charlie Rusk-Boy. (02/12/02)

351. At the West Brom match this season the ref is having an absolute stinker and with about 2 mins to go he gives a corner to WBA when it should of definitely been a goal kick, and some fella behind me shouts "just give them a penalty and get it over with!" Mike. (02/12/02)

350. In the 1992 'Peter Beardsley' Derby at Goodison (what a day!), Sky was still relatively new. You may remember the "Sky Strikers" and the fireworks at full time? Well at half time they had inflatable Everton and Liverpool sumo wrestlers in the semi circle. Cue some arl fella: "Aye aye, they're bringing Jan Molby on!" Cheers, Duncan Disorderly. (24/11/02)

349. At the West Brom match this season the ref is having an absolute stinker and with about 2 mins to go he gives a corner to WBA when it should of definitely been a goal kick, and some fella behind me shouts "just give them a penalty and get it over with!"
Mike. (24/11/02)

348. Against QPR a few years back mid 90's I think, and they bring on the long haired freak Daniel Dichio. First touch he gets me mate shouts out "waiter"....Me and near surrounding Toffees piss ourselves. Love the Site ! Ludo. (24/11/02)

347. Arsenal game this year when Jeffers was prancing up the line like a prick warming up. He stopped in the corner of the Park End and Main Stand to stretch his flimsy limbs where Stubbsy was doing the same. Some fella from the Park End stands up and shouts "Oi Stubbsy! Your a blue aren't ye lad, rip 'is fuckin' ears off!" The crowds laughter was matched by the smile on Stubbsy's face! u1pth. (24/11/02)

346. One chant springs to mind: as Dwight Yorke quietly warmed up along the touch-line, he cast a few darting glances up towards the Everton end. He no doubt met eyes with a few of us, which probably ensured the following: Fella [about 50 years of age] stands up behind me and shouts (at top volume, with finger pointing), "Jordan! Jordan! Jordan!" About 50 immediately joined in. Dwight Yorke (giggling), quickly turned around, jogged back to the centre and never came back! An obvious one agreed; but really bloody funny at the time... Will Askew. (23/11/02)

345. At the Charlton game when Rooney nearly snapped the defenders legs in half. The ref booked him and Rooney started pointing in his book as if to say wot did I do. Sum fella behind stood up and said "Fuck him of Wayne. Don't give the bastard your autograph." Great laugh, great site. Jim. (19/11/02)

344. When Paul Gerrard did his knee and was cryin on the ground and Paulo DI Canio caught the ball. Me 'arl fella shouted "Don't help 'im just dig im in". I was wettin meself. Rob. (19/11/02)

343. Not really a shout but a funny comment....Outside Goodison in the early 60's getting Jimmy Tarbuck's (!) autograph. As he's signing he says 'I shouldn't really be here, I'm a Liverpudlian'. Quick as a flash me dad says 'Don't worry - he only wants it for a swap !' Exit Tarby severely pissed off! - never knew me dad had it in him ! Great site. Keep it up lads. Rob. (19/11/02)

342. In the park end last season during the west ham match singing "hammers what's the score" a bloke turns round and shouts back "what? they cant count!" Andrew Johnston. (19/11/02)

341. It was a dire 0-0 draw against Villa a couple of years ago when one discerning punter summed it up perfectly, "you've let them out of jail, Everton!" You may remember Gregory under pressure amid chants of "...sacked in the morning, you're getting sacked in the morning ...!", though, ironically, they got a point that kept him in his job. It was just after the accident where some old people were killed, and James was taunted with chants of "Dodgy Keeper!", and "Dodgy Driver!" . Not the kindest, but one classic remark came from behind regarding David James' bleached hair, green apparel etc., -- "He's like a fuckin' Guinness Bottle!" Another chant: "Terry, Terry .... show us your medals!!!" janetandgerry. (19/11/02)

340. I think it was against Birmingham at home at the beginning of this season. The referee (whoever the blind bastard was) was having an absolute stinker, missing the most blatant of Birmingham's fouls, and awarding them free kicks whenever an Everton player farted.
Anyway, midway though the second half, he had to go off for treatment. The whole of Gwladys Street stood up to applaud, and out of nowhere I roared "Right lads, carry on without him. No offsides......goalie in and out". I'm sure I saw Weir laughing!!
Dave. (18/11/02)

339. I was in the main stand about 10 years or so ago, I can't remember who we were playing but it was a night match, it was cold, wet and we were playing terrible. Half way through the second half the lights went out leaving the stadium in complete darkness. After a few cheers from the crowd the lights were soon put back on. As soon as the lights came back on, some bloke shouts "turn the fuckin lights off I'm trying to have a kip here". some other bloke further down shouts "hey fuck off, I've been readin me book for an hour now". Very quick and very funny at the time. Phil Jones. (18/11/02)

338. On the ferry traveling to Rotterdam in 1985, with Evertonian bodies sprawled everywhere, we broke into a song which sang the virtues of each player in turn. After we had gone through the whole squad including the backroom staff. Somebody shouted "And we love our John Baptise Nunes" Younger fans just won't get it... but we all thought it was hysterical at the time.
Shaun Sparke. (18/11/02)

337. Sometime in the 1950s The People's Team had a lot of Irish players. Four priests were watching and after a six or seven pass move resulted in a goal for the Blues one of the priests is reported to have said 'Goal and not a bloody Protestant touched the ball'. Sectarian or what? Victoria's Dad. (18/11/02)

336. At Leeds 3-11-02...Everton have a Corner and the Steward with a rather heavy haircut stands up and a bloke just to the back of me, says "Hey Mate I've Told You before Move Your Quiff" .....I thought it was hilarious.....he never stood up again.
Toffee Taffy. (18/11/02)

335. Charlton game and Gravesen goes steaming forward, only to clatter into Lee Carsley. Usual comedian behind us shouts 'Bet he shit himself, thought he was running into a mirror!'. Mike Bennett (mikeybluenose). (18/11/02)

334. At the Middlesbrough game this season, Li Tie had just made another 'flying' slide tackle when from behind me came a perfectly timed shout of " Hiiiiiii Yaaaa " Bruce lee style. Couldn't keep a straight face for the rest of the game when Li Tie went near the ball. Eddo - True lifetime Blue from Kent. (18/11/02)

333. Me and me mates where at the Everton Middlesborough game this season and we couldn't stop laughin as some fella in the Gwladys shouts "Maccarone You Cheesy Twat". Fuckin hell it was funny! Graeme Beresford. (18/11/02)

332. Last sat v Charlton-- and now for the Everton team, in goal Wright horayy-- Unsworth horayy-- Yobo horayyy,--Hibbert-- horrayyyy-- Stubbs horayyy--[ Li tie -Yip -eee] fella by me shouts, not racial just scouse humour ,I fuckin collapsed laughing.
RHarrycharles. (18/11/02)

331. Notts Forest at home, start of season, during Mick walkers disastrous reign...losing 2-1 in dying seconds. Angell has half a chance to get us an undeserved point and shins it into the paddock....cue a fat bloke a few rows in front of me in lower Gwladys to shout a classic....."angel, your a waste of fuckin spunk" and he was wasn't he!! Dunc. (18/11/02)

330. The ref was booking Rooney when a shout goes up, "hey! Yer bastard! leave him alone! he's only 16 !!" Platty. (13/11/02)

329. Playing Blackburn mid nineties. Just before Baddiel and Skinner's 'Fantasy Football' rounded up. A dead ringer for Statto was standing up in the Gwladys and about 100 of us started shouting 'Statto, Statto'! lizardo_jr. (13/11/02)

328. This is goin back years, bout '94 when I used 2 av a season ticket in the main stand. We were playin Leeds who at the time weren't all that good, but then again neither were we. N e way it was a dull 0-0 game an sum old fella bout 80 hu never sed a word just 4rt fuck this an kicked off 4 ten minutes str8 using Shite, garbage, bollocks an bring ferguson on evry other sentence. N e way the steward come over an we fort he was gonna get kicked out or sumfin, an he just sed" sit down m8. Ferguson started" funny shit. Luv the site. Keebs. True Blue. (13/11/02)

327. At the Charlton game, after the third obvious penalty for hand ball was turned down by the blind bastard of a ref. Some fella behind shouts "Fuckin' hell ref ,what's he got to do SIGN IT ! " classic. Ian, Belle vale. (13/11/02)

326. Against Charlton and rooneys brought on with about 18minutes left and someone shouts come on Rooney you've done fuck all. Well that was it me and me mate turn round to criticizes the cunt and it turns out to be me mates da. MOIR. (13/11/02)

325. IT WAS HALF WAY THROUGH HELF TIME WHILE THE LEEDS SUBS WERE WARMING UP (MARTYN, BRIDGES ETC.) AND MARTYN SMACKED A BALL INTO THE CROWD AND HIT A GIRL IN THE FACE. THE EVERTON FANS REFUSED TO GIVE IT BACK, ANOTHER TWO WERE KICKED INTO THE CROWD AND WERE KEPT BY THE EVERTON FANS. NEXT MINUTE ALL THE EVERTON FANS WERE SINGING ''YOUV'VE ONLY GOT 1 BALL '' COMEDY !!!!! EVEN MICHAEL BRIDGES WAS IN STICHES. PADDY (15, Scouser) (13/11/02)

324. At the arsenal match 2002 at Goodison, when franny ''the ears'' jeffers comes on and the crowd chants there's only 'one greedy bast*rd' fella behind who's had about 4 pies throughout the game and weighed 25 stone+ starts to sing there's only two greedy bastar*s. Ryan Hand. (11/11/02)

323. Last season on the way out of Filbert Street after another disappointing away performance. A female steward with short dark hair and round glasses smiles as hundreds of blues pile out of the away end. Some blue starts the chant "One Harry Potter, there's only one Harry Potter", quickly followed by hundreds of blue voices "ONE HARRY POTTER...", etc, etc. The only piece of entertainment any bluebelly got all afternoon. Keep up the good work. The Mexican Bank Robber. (11/11/02)

322. Lad in front of me at Leeds when Kewell came down to take a corner, " Eh Harry !!!....yer bird is gettin shagged by a Dingle" 2nd best moment of the day. Si. (11/11/02)

321. Leeds 3 Nov 02. Half time had just gone and five Leeds players emerged from the tunnel with three balls to kick about. After a couple of mins, one was hoisted into the blues behind the goal - as if they were gonna see that again! Ian Harte then came right over to us gesturing to give him the ball back. I chipped in with the obvious 'can I have me ball back mister' in a stupid voice which raised a chuckle. Harte persisted and was getting more ripping off the blues. Gary Kelly then lashed another into the stand as if to tempt us. Needless to say that one went into the ether too! Harte by this time had stewards, coppers even the little ball boys asking for the balls back. My brother Chris (or was it Peter Ustinov?) next to me then shouted 'what does it look like?' And some other wag behind us shouted 'what colour is it?' It was rounded off by loads of blues chanting 'one ball...you've only got one ball'
The Leeds players fucked off into the centre circle and kicked their one ball about! Still laughing about it now. Praise the Moyes! Steve Sanders.(09/11/02)

320. At leeds game couple years ago. when bowyer an woodgate where in court. Bowyer takes a corner and some fella in front stands up and shouts ' At least you don't have to worry bout droppin the soap in the shower your a fuckin ugly twat.'
BLUE 4 EVA. BW. (04/11/02)

319. My gobshite mate had a spare ticket for the Valencia game in the Kop, so I took him up on his offer (thought it would be a laugh to watch them get beat). About an hour in, Valencia 1-0 up and the shite give the ball away which starts a Valencia counter attack, some spanner a few rows behind me shouts in all seriousness "Come on reds, you're letting them back into the game!" Laughed my cock off and got angry stares the rest of the game! Jay, Wavertree. (04/11/02)

318. My Dad was queuing up for some tickets during one of the mid-Eighties annual outings to Wembley. The organization was its usual class - one turnstile open with a "Back in 10 minutes" sign on it. After a few hours grumbling, one of the police horses throws a paddy - jumping everywhere and the copper hanging on for grim death. Some fella behind my Dad shouts " Lucky Bastard - that horse has got his bloody ticket!" Still took him another two hours to get the bleeding tickets, poor sod. Mikey. (04/11/02)

317. "'Ey, Aaaaarvey!!! Ge' fuckin' Wilson off!!! Ge' fuckkkan Wilson off!!!! No need ferrra sub, like, jus' ge' fuckkkan' Wilson off!!!!!!!! janetandgerry. (04/11/02)

316. Everton v Arsenal on 19/10/02. The linesman on the paddock side had been shite all match. This fella who sits next to me every match and barely ever breathes a word stands up after one of the linesmans poor decisions and just shouts at the top of his voice "OI YOU BOLLOCKS". Classic. You had to be there to hear it. Paul Howells. (04/11/02)

315. It was sometime in the late 70s, a horrible pissing down night at that Grimsby shithole called Blundell Park in the League Cup , a Blues team including such legends as Eamonn O'Keefe, and we're not surprisingly getting turned over so the home wools are ecstatic - our response was the "You Only Sing When You're Fishin'" chant. Quality. Andy B. (01/11/02)

314. In the home end at West ham away about three seasons ago, 4-0 win with the little runt scoring a hat trick. Early on in the game the ewok otherwise known as Xavier was taking a throw in a chirpy cockney stood to his feet and shouted "F##k off back to five star you freak!" Still pissing myself now. JamesJayDunne. (01/11/02)

313. It was at the Fulham game this season and when we were 2-0 up we were doing fine. Unsy then plays a perfect ball through to Pembridge who only has 10 yards to cover to reach it and some defender called Zat Knight has about 30 yards to cover to reach it. Zat knight gets to the ball before Pembridge and some disabled guy shouts "COME ON PEMBRIDGE! I'M IN A WHEELCHAIR AND EVEN I COULD HAVE REACHED THAT" Brilliant. Rob. (01/11/02)

312. When the Koreans walked onto the pitch at half-time against Arsenal, some fella behind me says, 'If Smith was still here, he'd have tried to sign half of them!' Jimmy. (01/11/02)

311. Me at any match ........to any player attacking us... " Snap 'is fuckin' tendons!!!!!!!"..........sounds better than " tackle him"......... great site........I met yis all in The Grapes after the Arse match, pissed n wearin the Black top with the Chinese symbol round me neck) Tommy. (01/11/02)

310. The UTD game when Ferguson took his top off (surprised he didn't crick his neck). Sitting in the Park End, when they get a corner. Ince goes to get the ball and I shout "Ince your Ma's a stripper" (which apparently she was in Hamburg). He stops, stares at me and the whole ten rows in front, offer him out. Sorry to blow my own trumpet (Ahem), but thought if we get Wolves in the cup it might be useful to know. Richie Sayers - Crosby. (31/10/02)

309. At the arsenal match when Henry missed that sitter, the fella next me shouts Oh La La sacra bleu Thierey Henry. Got me in stitches. ALAN PARKS. (31/10/02)

308. Newcastle 2001. 1-1 Rhino at both ends. Alex Nyarko (remember that c**t?) went down in the centre circle banging his arms on the floor injured. This arl fella shouts "Shoot him..... he's got foot and mouth!"
P*ssed meself laughin! James of Runcorn. (31/10/02)

307. In the queue outside the Kop in 1984 for the "Graeme Sharp" Derby some wag tells a policewoman " Hey love your horse looks knackered" to which she replied "You would be too if you'd been between my legs for 3 hours". The day just got better and better after that. Mick Upfield. (31/10/02)

306. Going back to 1966-67, Tony Coleman scored for Manchester City against Everton at the Gwladys Street End, and celebrated so profusely that the lacing from inside his shorts became visible. Bloke behind me shouts, "Eh!!! Coleman yer cunt!!! Yer fuckin' tampax's come loose!" In the same match, Mike Summerbee responded to chants about "Lee bums Bell, Bell bums Lee, Lee and Bell bum Summerbee .... (to the tune of "This Old Man") and he trotted away from the Street end showing his arse.
janetandgerry. (31/10/02)

305. This happened at the home match against Crystal Palace on the opening day of the 1997/98 season. Palace were one-nil up at half-time against a labouring home side and went further ahead when Bruce Dyer scored a penalty in the second half. Over the PA system, the announcer declared "The scorer of the second goal for Crystal Palace is....Dyer". From a few rows behind me in the Upper Gwladys someone remarked loudly: "With a name like that he should be in our team". Keith. (26/10/02)

304. During the arsenal match when ever the ball went to Davie Unsworth the fella behind would shout "AVE IT" in the style of Peter Kaye's classic John Smith's advert. Elliot Ward and Terry. (26/10/02)

303. After the Duke had scored goal of the season with barley 2 minutes remaining, A bloke in the Street in stands up and shouts "Heads up boys, we can get a draw out of this!". TED.(26/10/02)

302. during the first half against arsenal wenger gets up and starts pouncing around like a quilt and dis fella shouts "put a sock in it dracula" hilarious. Anne Williams. (26/10/02)

301. "Jeffers you could model the FA Cup" David. (26/10/02)

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