Lard reports from all over the place
Where do I start with this one? Seriously I've got no idea what to say about Saturday's match as my coverage consists of a text message, on out of date score line at the car wash and the last 5 minutes on the radio. From what I eventually found out it seems that everyone was sharing my feeling of frustration, but that was due to more points being dropped and another Jekyll and Hyde performance, rather than the shambolic day that I had.
Those of you that know me or that bothered to read my last match report "from the sofa" will know that getting to the game has become a bit tricky recently. This is isn't due to a lack of willing, loss of desire or before anyone says it because I not allowed, its just that sometimes life throws some things at you that you just have to deal with and as a very learned friend of mine often says "it's the way it is".
So, given the weekend that was ahead of me I knew I was asking for trouble when I signed up for the match report, but I thought the added pressure would spur me on to make sure I watched it in the pub, on the interweb or at least caught it on the radio. However, when the eldest Loon woke up at 6.30 on Saturday morning shortly followed by his younger, milder mannered, lunatic brother I realised my chances of covering the game in any detail were rapidly moving from slim to none....
When Loon the younger (they're 3 and 1 for info) decided his daily 2 hour kip would be from 1 to 3 instead of the pre-arranged 3 to 5, my fate was sealed. Whilst visiting my Mum the first update came through - "Fkn gr8 start" - which could mean many things but at least it reminded me that the game was on and that it wasn't nil nil. When I eventually got in the car at half four I at least had the last 20 to "enjoy" and thought I could at least be creative and cobble together something worthwhile.
For some reason, and I think I may be alone here, sometimes when I switch the radio on I don't go straight for City or Merseyside in case Sharpie or Ronnie Goodlass immediately give away our fate, and instead go for TalkSport or Five Live to see if I can trick the sports radio gods into letting slip some positive information. I thought so, I am on my own. Anyway, on the way home I ended up sitting in the car wash, my mind lost in the country wide round up that kept missing out Birmingham whilst I tried to prevent WW3 erupting in the back of the car. Then my next update came from the unlikely source of a scruffy kopite with a chamois leather in his webbed hand - "Is it still 2-1?" I quickly flicked over to City to listen to 30 seconds of the most uninformative match commentary that gave me no clue of the current score. I couldn't wait any longer with his stinking head getting closer to my open window - "don't know, cheers" as I paid and drove off.
My false hope lasted for only a couple of miles down the road when "any goal at this stage will win it" confirmed that it was actually 2-2. Sharpie's post match summary confirmed that again we had dropped points on our travels and it was clear that he was very frustrated at our inability to defend a 2 goal lead and that this cast a doubt over weather we were an improving side or not.
So frustration all round. Unfortunately, my frustration turned to despair in the final minutes of my journey home when Loon the younger produced an absolute stonker to make it 3-2 in the daily nappy filling competition.
If you think you can do better, and if you can't you've got real problems, let us know via the Contact Us section and send in your report for future matches.
