A LAST EVER WORD ON WAYNE ROONEY…. EVER, EVER, EVER. AGAIN.
By
Mickey Blue Eyes

I haven’t read, and don’t intend to read, Hunter Davies’s book on Wayne Rooney.

This has nothing to do with either Davies or Rooney. I haven’t met either character and don’t feel a pressing need to make their acquaintance. I feel that way about almost all the “personalities” who populate the game, players included. There’s no point. Playing idols have a universal rule: They all have feet of clay. They are merely human and I see no reason whatever to reinforce what I already know. If the personalities are not players, then the only individuals I am interested in are those who materially affect the direction of our club and our game. For me, football remains just that – a game and nothing more. Anybody who attempts to promote it into something larger probably leads a narrow or even completely empty life or is some sort of seedy opportunist.

No, the reason is quite prosaic: Virtually every football book I have ever read has been an utter bore. I exempt from this the books I reviewed long ago on this site. Most other footy tomes are either riddled with small time or fishwife gossip concerning the human frailties of its subjects. Well, you see that every day in close up all around you, sometimes attended by joy, sometimes by tragedy. So what’s the purpose in assuming it would be any different this time, especially when you take Rooney’s age into consideration? And anyway, the initial hype noises have been even less tasteful than usual. No, nobody’s going to separate me from my dosh for the latest round of footy balderdash.

If the reviews are correct, Wayne apparently left Everton because he fell out with David Moyes. And that’s about all the book has to say of any “worth.” Well, forgive me if I am less than impressed. If you are a student of the club’s affairs you’ll already know that one and by now the memory will have grown whiskers. They were both irascible. So what, Wayne? Did you hate Moyesy so much you couldn’t wait to put an adolescent boot in just as soon as the most pliable hack could be found? At least David Moyes has shown admirable composure whenever the subject of the young prodigy has come up. The only real melancholy about this is that Hunter Davies has fallen from grace in a steepening curve ever since a generation ago he wrote one of the better football books, The Glory Game. Now he’s little more than a cipher clerk. Pity. Football badly needs good writers and wordsmiths.

But whatever young Rooney’s motives, does his claim have any traction once it gets placed in perspective? Answer: No, not in the least. People disagree and part company every day. Some restore the relationship, some don’t. If you don’t know the people involved then it has no more significance to you than a quick gust of wind in the Orkneys. The difference for Evertonians is of course that Wayne Rooney was/is probably the best young Royal Blue prospect most of us will see in our lifetime. Barring a catastrophe he is going to be one of the game’s greatest ever players. And that’s where it gets visceral for those who can’t or won’t stop to think sensibly. At a football level it was heartbreaking to lose him, though this was partly mitigated by his lack of experience and appearances for the first team and the gnawing prospect that even now, given the caprice of fate, he may yet fail.

However much he was manipulated by his disgusting agent – I am quite ready to accept it was every bit as bad as the circumstances and rumours imply – the simple fact is that Wayne could have just said “No” to a move at any time. As I said at the time, he could have stayed for another year to his benefit while he learned more of his craft. The bottom line is that in the end it was his own choice. All the rest is superfluous, even the supposed manipulations. He wanted to go. So he went with all the impetuosity of youth. Who among us can say they never did something similar at his age? Nobody with an ounce of common sense can do anything other than heave a world-weary sigh. We don’t live in an era of indentured servants or the old retain-and-transfer system and a good thing too. He exercised his rights, that’s all. Leave him alone.

The reactions at the time of his transfer were hysterical bordering on the farcical. Since then reaction by some Evertonians has been revolting, frankly. Some of the barracking and name-calling he suffered bordered on dementia. As did all the crackpot rumours put around by loonies and yoyos, the result of which was to further whip up the kind of minority lynch mob mentality we saw when Sol Campbell left Tottenham for Arsenal. Of course as soon as the book reviews got out you can bet the same barfly nutters were boring the kecks off everybody in radar range with the same old rumour-ridden, foam-flecked paranoid codswallop. Some of it too is downright evil. They have to fill their useless lives with something.

The worst thing Evertonians can do is react to this latest soap opera bore by adding to the actions of our own brand of knob head. Wayne’s gone. Get over it. Life goes on. Once he left the club he was no longer One Of Us in the narrow football chauvinist sense. The same applies to any player who leaves. The aforementioned freedom of contract means it can happen to any player at any club at any time. That’s the way it is. Anyone who doesn’t make sure his kids are aquainted with this straightforward fact of life is guaranteeing their view of the football world will be skewiff and destined for tears when an idol moves on. After which there’s only one thing to do, find someone to blame. That’s where the whole thing goes crazy and worthless. Small wonder the opportunists and twisters inside the game are these days matched in numbers by some fans and sick rumour-mongers who could do with serious therapy.

If Wayne Rooney doesn’t go off the rails he is in my opinion going to become one of the game’s greatest ever players. I intend to enjoy his abilities whenever he shows them, apart from when he plays against Us of course. What I won’t do is barrack him the way some of our own fans do. I will also treat with contempt any of the gaga rumour pedlars who venture near my company. Behave badly, then don’t be surprised when our club’s enemies use your actions as a stick to beat us with.

Meanwhile, I hope Wayne grows up at a faster rate than he’s shown thus far. The more he behaves the way he does, the more David Moyes’ policy of bringing him on gradually looks to be the right one.

It’s time to put this whole phoney saga to bed and get on with the task of regenerating our club. Leave the madness and the fishwife gossiping to the lunatics and the riffraff.

And that’s my final word on Wayne Rooney. (28/07/06)

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