A
football God dies
(a tribute to Alan Ball sung to the tune
of Don Maclean’s American Pie)
A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
when the football used to make me smile.
It was on a trip to Goodison,
a ginger haired young ruffian
would make the people happy for a while.
If
you were red he made you shiver
With every cross that he’d deliver.
Bad news for defenders;
Beauty to Street Enders….
I
can remember that I cried
When in 71 he left our side,
something touched me deep inside
The day my football died.
So
bye-bye, Alan tears in my eye,
This just cant be happening
A God doesn’t die.
You took us to the summit,
where we looked out on high
singing Bally greatest Everton guy..
Bally greatest Everton guy..
Did
you score on your debut,
And don’t you look great in Royal Blue
Everybody tells me so?
I remember you just playing great,
A constant blur in a number 8,
making opposition look real slow?
Well,
you knew that we would follow you
when you danced around their number 2
You’d always give your all
and sometimes sit on the ball!!!!
You
were the icon of a royal blue age
with a world class touch and just a hint of rage
and now you’re gone you still fill the page
The day my football died.
I
started singin’,
bye-bye, Alan tears in my eye,
This just cant be happening
A God doesn’t die.
You took us to the summit,
where we looked out on high
singing Bally, greatest Everton guy..
Bally, greatest Everton guy..
Well
for 5 years you were on your own
the greatest player in your Royal Blue home,
and that’s just what we came to see.
A golden player in a golden team,
the catalyst inside a dream machine
Amongst cheering that came from you and me,
But
then while the Cat was feeling down,
He sent you off to London Town
The glory was adjourned;
Not for ages to return.
And while many tried to take your place,
None possessed either your class or grace,
And we lamented our lost ace
The day my football died.
We
started singing bye-bye, Alan tears in my eye,
This just cant be happening
A God doesn’t die.
You took us to the summit,
where we looked out on high
singing Bally greatest Everton guy..
Bally greatest Everton guy..
I
met a girl who cheered the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just cried and turned away.
I went down to the football ground
and I listened for that tannoy sound,
But the man there said that Bally wouldn’t play.
And
in the streets: the children screamed,
supporters cried, and the players dreamed.
But not a word was spoken;
St Luke’s bells must have broken.
And everyone who’d seen him play
came back together one last day,
They cheered for Alan and they’d pray
The day my football died.
And
we were singing,
bye-bye, Alan tears in my eye,
This just cant be happening
A God doesn’t die.
You took us to the summit,
where we looked out on high
singing Bally greatest Everton guy..
Bally greatest Everton Guy…
We were singing,
bye-bye, Alan tears in my eye,
This just cant be happening
A God doesn’t die.
You took us to the summit,
where we looked out on high
singing Bally greatest Everton guy..
© Gerard Ryan May 2007
David
Weir
Weir,
Weir, Weir, Weir, Weir, Weir...
SIMON
DAVIES
He
lived by Tony Blairs
When he used to play for Spurs
Who didnt wanna get rid
But Moysie made a bid
Then he made the trip up North
To play for the blue boys in fourth
Simon Davies woah
©Callum
McShane
Per
Krøldrup, Per Krøldrup
Per
Krøldrup, Per Krøldrup didn’t stay long
Whatever did happen? Whatever went wrong?
Per Krøldrup, Per Krøldrup didn’t suffice
Did somebody somewhere give some wrong advice?
(Chorus):
Cost quite a few bob, and played for us twice!
Now
for the Blues these are interesting times
Though perhaps Per’s suited to much warmer climes
And perhaps Per thought here was not too much fun
Perhaps Per prefers the Italian sun
Per
Krøldrup, Per Krøldrup, fans were bemused
That so dear a player was so rarely used
Per Krøldrup, Per Krøldrup cost loads of quid
Was some of it lost when they chose to get rid?
(Chorus):
We hope not too much, please heaven forbid!
Now
some do their best while others may doubt
But sometimes a transfer just doesn’t work out
Though here it seems cash was not too well spent
At least they got some back from selling off Bent
We’ve seen things like this in a previous reign
With Nyarko and Bilic, Hottiger and Degn
(Chorus):
It’s happened before but we hope not again!
Per
Krøldrup, Per Krøldrup thus changed his clubs
Then things went full circle, and back came Al Stubbs
Some transfer dealings can be quite a curse
And sometimes they do tend to stretch out one’s purse
(Chorus):
There’s many a club that’s done much, much, much worse!
(Tune (with some variations):
Chim Chim Cher-ee)
Keith
Richmond
February, 2006
Kevin
Kilbane
Zinedine
Kilbane
[Sung
to the tune (with minor variations):
I’m An Old Cowhand (From The Rio Grande)
Zinedine
Kilbane is an Everton man
Played in Ireland’s team in Korea ‘n Japan
He signed for us with just minutes to go
And put an end to his Sunderland woe
(His real name’s Kevin not Zinedine though)
That’s Zinedine Kilbane! That’s Zinedine Kilbane!
Zinedine
Kilbane is an Everton manCan he really fit into Moyes’s plan?
He’s good on the ground and good in the air
At Goodison Park he’s a sight quite rare
A midfield Blue with a full head of hair
That’s Zinedine Kilbane! That’s Zinedine Kilbane!
Zinedine
Kilbane is an Everton man
Player of the month (December and Jan.)
He’ll keep on running, on that you can bet
Two down at Fulham but was trying yet
Then hit a screamer, almost burst the net
That’s Zinedine Kilbane! That’s Zinedine Kilbane!
Zinedine
Kilbane is an Everton man
And he runs the ball as a winger can
He won us a free kick against the Mancs
And slipped in among their disordered ranks
Then headed it home with much joyful thanks
That’s Zinedine Kilbane! That’s Zinedine Kilbane!
Zinedine
Kilbane is an Everton man
Wears the shirt fourteen, sponsored by Kejian
He sets up some goals and he scores a few
And here’s something else that may well be true
This Jim Carrey double can be our ‘Ace’ too
That’s Zinedine Kilbane! That’s Zinedine Kilbane!
Keith Richmond
March, 2004
Marcus
Bent
He's
Bent and he knows he is.
Per
Kroldrup
It's
late in the evening; he's wondering what kit to wear.
He puts on the blue kit and fixes his long blonde hair.
And then he asks Moyes, "Do I look all right?"
And He says, "Yes, you can play tonight."
He
goes on the pitch and everyone turns to see
Beautiful Kroldrup that's walking around with Glee.
And then he asks the team, "Do you feel all right?"
And they say, "Yes we can win tonight."
We
feel wonderful because we see
The love for the game in his eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that he just don't realize how much we love him.
It's
time to go home now and we won the match,
Kroldrup scored that goal, we knew there was a catch.
And then we tell him, as I exits the pitch,
We say, "Per Kroldrup, you were wonderful tonight.
Ohhhhh Per Kroldrup, you played wonderful tonight."
(Sung
To The Tune Of Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight.)
Sent In By Paula! Age 17!
Per
Kroldrup
Pers
a cracker
Pers a cracker
scores them too
he's a blue
Pers a little cracker
Pers a little cracker
scores them too
he's a blue!
Sung
to the tune: "Frère Jacques"
Alan Wynne
PER
KROLDRUP
Too
many people Take 2nd best
But Kroldrup won't take anything less
Its got to beeeeeee
YEAH PERRRRRRfect!
(Sung
to "It's Got to be Perfect")
Matteo
Ferrari
FERRARI
O O O
FERRARI O O O
HE COME FROM ITALY
BEST CENTRE- HALF YOU'LL EVER SEE
FERRARI O O O
FERRARI O O O
HIS NAME IS MATTEO
HE PLYAS WITH JO YOBO
FERRARI O O O
Sung
to the Dean Martin classic tune "Volari"
christian-lower-gwladys
Barry
Horne
Barry
Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorne
Who needs cantona? when we've got Barry Horne,
Who needs cantona? when we've got Barry Horne,
Barry Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorne
(Sung
to old tune "Ooops Upside Your Head" )
Tommy
Gravesen
Oh
Tommy, Tommy,
Tommy,
Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, Gravesen
Tommy
Gravesen
Not
Tommy A, Not Tommy B,
Not Tommy C, Not Tommy D
Not Tommy E not Tommy F,
But Tommy G , Tommy G ,
he's the greatest player in history. OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH tommy
tommy tommy tommy gravesen
Brian
McBride
Cheerio
McBride
Cheerio McBride
There's not enough in the Bank
To buy us a Yank
Cheerio McBride
(to the tune of knees up Mother
Brown)
Brian
McBride
McBride
McBride
Brian Brian McBride
He looks like Moyes but we don't care
Brian Brian McBride
Brian
McBride
Thank
You, Brian McBride
(Tune:
Bless Your Beautiful Hide)
His
name’s Brian McBride
He comes from Illinois.
Folks there a-know that as strikers a-go
He’s the real McCoy.
This
guy, Brian McBride
He’d scored goals just for fun
And Moyes said “Indeed, he’s just the fellow we need
To end this winless run.”
“A
mighty fine player, that’s what they say.
Has international caps for the U. S. A.
We’ll have him for a three-month stay……
Thankin’ you…..., Columbus Crew………”
At
Tottenham when McBride’s
Debut had just begun
He was put through and the ‘keeper he drew
To win a ‘one on one.’
Next,
Blues concede and Sunderland lead
But two from ‘Mac’ put ‘em back on track
Finish so sweet - and classy as can be….
So…
Thank
you, Brian McBride
For helping us along.
Your goals were of use and provided an excuse
To write this little song.
Keith
Richmond
March, 2003
David
Unsworth
The
David Unsworth Mambo
Tune: Papa Loves Mambo
(Swinging,
quick tempo - but with tongue in cheek)
Da-avid
Unsworth da da da da da
Da-avid Unsworth da da da da da
He is so true a Blue
Everton through and through
Unsy,
we do thank you, Wow!
Da-avid
Unsworth da da da da da
Da-avid Unsworth da da da da da
He gets his tackles in
Watch out, he'll crack your shin
He's
one we'd back to win, Wow!
Rhino's
here, Rhino's there
Rhino runs ev'rywhere
Passes left, passes right
Whenever there's danger he'll hoof the ball right out of sight.
Unh!!!
Da-avid
Unsworth da da da da da
Da-avid Unsworth da da da da da
Great shot past Van Der Sar
That was just wunderbar
Dave, you are one rare star, Wow!
Da-avid
Unsworth da da da da da
Da-avid Unsworth da da da da da
He
always aims to please
He's cool with penaltiesHe just scores them with ease, Wow!
**In
defence, or midfield
**Our Unsy will not yield
**We know well, he'll try hard
**When Rhino's around everyone has to be on his guard.
**Unh!!!
**
Possible alternative lines: In midfield, or defenceHe keeps
us in suspenseAnd at times we're perplexedUnsy has us all wondering
what he is going to do next.¿¡¡Qué?!!
Da-avid Unsworth da da da da da
Da-avid Unsworth da da da da da
On him we may depend
His
free kick slayed North End
He really made it bend, Wow!
Da-avid
Unsworth da da da da daDa-avid Unsworth da da da da da
Plays like he's been possessed
No one shows keener zest
Have we yet seen his best? No! (?)
We
all love Unsy, da da da da da
We all love Unsy, da da da da da
He left the Hammers and he left the Villa
'Cos
Unsy's a Toffee, okay!
Keith Richmond
July, 2002
David
Unsworth
Rhino,
Rhino, Rhino, Rhino,Rhino, Rhino.
(sing until fade)
Kevin
Campbell
Who
Put The Ball In The redshite's net?
Who Put The Ball In The redshite's net?
Who
Put The Ball In The redshite's net?
Super
Kevin Campbell
Super
Super Kev, Super
Super Kev, Super
Super Kev,
Super Kevin Campbell
Abel
Xavier
ohhhhhhh
abel ohohohoh,
ohhhhh xavier ohohohoh,
his tacklin is unique,
he comes from mozambique,
ohhh.........repeat....
( Sung to the tune of 'Volari')
