Smirnoff Ice Footy Fix Air Football Tournament

Blue Kipper was chosen to Represent Everton in The Smirnoff Ice Emergency Footy Fix Air Football Tournament .
We sent along The Blue Kipper FC captain, Gary 'LARD' Jones. This is how he got on!

Everton March On To The Finals.

After weeks of trials, Blue Kipper thought that Lard was the man for the job. We had been on benders after our recent run of success, having a few pints in Top Toffee Ale 'ouses around Goodison Park. Then we would jump a cab to join the alcopop brigade in town. Lard hadn't played 'Air Football' since he was a kid in Butlin's, but he could down Smirnoff Ice like the best of them. He was in. The venue was The JJB Soccer Dome in Wigan.


The Smirnoff Ice Babes & Lard

The Smirnoff Ice Babes welcome Lard


We were met by The Smirnoff Ice Babes, Helen & Elaine, who bent over backwards to make our stay a happy one. The teams in this North West heat were Everton, Bolton, Man City, Man Utd, & the redshite. Blackburn never turned up, as the orginisers couldn't find anyone who drinks anything other than Brown Splits in the Town. Eckie Thump!


In action against Bolton

Man Utd 2 Everton 3

The rules for the games were as follows. The first to score 3 goals before the aloted 3 minutes won the game. Or the score stood at the end of 3 minutes. Confused? You will be! Lard got off to a flyer winning his first 3 games, against Bolton, City, & yes the shite. A stonking 3-0 win inside 2 minutes. Sounds familiar?



Man City 1 Everton 3


Bolton 1 Everton 3

Group Table

Team P W D L Goals Pts.
Everton 8 6 1 1 19 19
Man Utd 8 3 2 3 13 11
redshite 8 3 1 4 12 10
Bolton 8 3 0 5 15 9
Man City 8 2 2 4 12 8

After winning the Group Table, Lard rubbed his knuckles, downed another Smirnoff Black, & took on Man Utd.


Lard Scores Everton's 3rd against the shite

Everton & Man Utd - All Smiles Before The Final

The final was 10 minutes long. Same winner. EVERTON.

Final Result: Everton 9, Man Utd 4.

Lard now goes on to the finals in London @ The Sports Cafe, next Wednesday, 20th November 2002. 11.00am start. Free Smirnoff Ice for all the Suporters. Plus the referees will be Sky soccer babes, Helen Chamberlain & Kirsty Gallacher. See you there. Support the Blues. Call Y'self an Evertonian? (15/11/02)


Lard Scores in The Final

It's only a Game - My Arse


Report & Photos of The Finals in London

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